‘Dungeons & Democracy’: British comic Nish Kumar skewers U.S. voting system

No offense, D&D fans, but British comedian Nish Kumar on Tuesday likened the American voting system to “a pointless complex quest” like the one played in the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons.

“It’s 14 days until the 2020 election — an event with the queues of Coachella and the lineup of Fyre Festival,” said Kumar, the host of the BBC’s Mash Report, who observes American happenings from London for Quibi’s twice-weekly talk show “Hello America.”

“Compared to the British one, the American voting system feels needlessly frustrating,” the host said. “All the restrictions make it seem like a pointlessly complex quest. And you know what else is a pointless complex quest (but for legal reasons bears no relation to the popular gaming franchise)? It’s our completely original and unique voting-based fantasy role play game ‘Dungeons & Democracy.’”

Kumar, the episode’s Dungeon Master, executed a mock game between the “Stateside Sorceress” Kemah Bob, whose objective is to cast a vote in the D&D version of Texas, and the “Wizard of West London” Ahir Shah, who is voting in England.

“Why does his side look like a park and mine look like actual hell?” Bob asked.

“I don’t make the rules, Kemah. Unfortunately in your case, Texas does,” Kumar said, handing her an unwieldy pamphlet of new voting laws.

Shah’s game play is indeed a lovely walk in the park, broken up by light showers, a cute puppy and a literal piece of cake. Further complicating the game for Bob are Texas’ Republican Gov. Greg Abbott, the president’s “incoherent fear-mongering” cards, an eroding public trust in mail-in ballots, long lines and an appearance by the Proud Boys and a white dragon attempting to intimidate minority voters who try to enter the game’s “polling chamber.”

She makes it in but, alas, votes Democrat in a heavily gerrymandered district, making her vote “practically irrelevant,” Kumar said. But if she doesn’t vote — er, play — the game turns into “Actual Dungeons & Dictatorships.”

It’s pretty spot on, in an unsettling, defeatist way.

Watch the segment below. Beware: Creepy political cutouts and foul language ahead.

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