O.C. does a bland job of branding itself, period

Finally.

After years of fervent prayer that Orange County supervisors would wake up and rename the county’s Integrated Waste Management Department -- thus relieving those of us who live here of the ongoing embarrassment the name causes -- the board has done it.

What took it so long? Why have we been forced to suffer with a waste management department that doesn’t have a cool name? Are we lame or what?

Well, it’s a new generation of supervisors, and they get it.

Wanting to sound a bit more hip and to stick a name on departments that Orange County residents would be proud of, the supes decided to get creative.

Alas . . .

Apparently just now getting around to watching their old TiVo programming, the supes have stuck the “O.C.” handle on a bunch of departments and agencies. You may recall that in a previous hip-culture lifetime (meaning a few years ago), Orange County was the place to be.

Television and movies discovered our little hideaway and produced some memorable moments in American cultural history, such as the movie “Orange County” and the TV series “The O.C.”

But that was then.

If you had one chance to rename your waste management function (that sounds icky, doesn’t it?) in a way that catches the public’s fancy, why not go all the way? If the goal, as the board said, is to make the department names more streamlined and people-pleasing, let ‘er rip.

Instead, the board hung the “O.C.” label on each of 13 existing or new departments or agencies.

So, after enduring the “Integrated Waste Management Department” and with a chance to make some municipal-naming history, the supervisors came up with “O.C. Waste and Recycling.”

Fills you with civic pride, doesn’t it?

The county doesn’t use the periods when abbreviating Orange County, but The Times does. It’s because we care.

The point I’d like to make -- and I think it’s rather profound -- is that the county blew it.

Oh, what could have been.

If you want to put a fancy brand on a waste management department, why not call it “The Trash Folks”?

Instead of “O.C. Animal Care,” how about “Dogs, Cats & Raccoons”?

The five supervisors split over “O.C. Library” or “O.C. Public Libraries,” as if it mattered, before eventually going with the latter. Was any thought given to “House of Words” or “Books, Anybody”?

The county’s department of Harbors Beaches & Parks is now “O.C. Parks.” I think I once knew a guy named O.C. Parks, and with all due respect, something like the “Surf & Turf Department” sounds a bit more fetching.

I suspect I’ve now spent as much time on the subject as the supervisors. Clearly, we see the world differently. They’re insistent on letting everyone know we’re the O.C., by God, and don’t you forget it.

But in their parochial single-mindedness to convert the Integrated Waste Management Department into a feel-good operation, an opportunity was lost.

Come on, if you’re telephoning county government, what would make you feel more warm and fuzzy: asking for “O.C. Waste and Recycling” or “The Trash Folks”?

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821 or at dana.parsons@latimes.com. An archive of his recent columns is at www.latimes.com/parsons.