Top five reasons to get a recommendation letter from a gang leader

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In its paltry defense of why no one at Penguin’s Riverhead imprint did due diligence on rogue scribe Margaret B. Jones, the editor cites a ‘letter from a gang leader’ as evidence that the author was legit. On that note, The Rage can think of five great reasons to get a gang leader to vouch for you.

1. You are seeking membership to a gang.

2. Someone kicked sand at you.

3. You are trying out for the role of a Jet in a local production of ‘West Side Story.’

4. You can’t get your Endeavor agent to return calls.

5. Your dog -- er, pitbull -- ate your old letter from a gang leader.