Bearded & Tschorn: Faux facial fur at the WBMC

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Not everybody at the 2009 World Beard and Moustache Championships is sporting a legitimate length of facial hair, and while I sit here in the Dena’ina Convention Center waiting for the bearded and mustachioed elite from around the globe to be pre-judged (i.e. make sure they qualify in their specific category) before the competition this afternoon (mustaches at 2 p.m. Alaska Daylight Time, beards at 7 p.m.), I thought I’d share some of the faux follicles I’ve spotted on T-shirts, cars and signs around town.

After Anchorage resident Amy Voss caught the same flight to Anchorage as many of the German contestants, she decided to stop by at the Friday night party -- but not without first hitting Wet Seal and picking up a themed T-shirt for herself and friend Asha Brown. (‘They’re usually $5.99 each, but we got two for six bucks!’ she told me.)

Three young ladies from the neighboring country to the east pulled out all the stops in support of Beard Team Canada (whose members were wearing team hockey jerseys -- did you have any doubt?). Dubbing themselves the ‘Canadian Facial Hair Cheer Trio,’ not only did they deck themselves out in fake beards they seemed to have knitted themselves, but they also kitted out their car with a gold handlebar mustache above the front bumper. (One of them won the ‘Pyrite Pioneer’ category for fake beards at last night’s party and Alaskan beard club-style competition -- which was not part of the formal contest today).

And while I usually consider dressing up infants to suit the quirky whims of the parents a form of child abuse, there was one future beardsman of America that melted my heart -- Oscar Jacobs, a 6-month-old from Anchorage who was carried about last night’s party with a drawn-on handlebar mustache. Little man totally rocked the ‘stache.

Competitors of 2029, watch your backs!

-- Adam Tschorn

Photos, from top: The Canadian Facial Hair Cheer Trio; their stylized ride on the streets of Anchorage; Amy Voss, left, and Asha Brown in Wet Seal T-shirts; and 6-month old Oscar Jacobs in a faux mustache. Credit: Adam Tschorn