Robert Pattinson won’t play John Lennon in a 3-D ‘Yellow Submarine’ remake

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Did you hear the one about Robert Pattinson and the ‘Yellow Submarine’?

Insert your own punch line here, because the story’s accuracy is a joke, according to Gossip Cop. The Cop confirmed today exclusively that the ‘Twilight’ heartthrob is not in talks with Robert Zemeckis to play John Lennon in Disney’s 3-D animated remake.

This news pleases the Ministry (not to mention, most likely, the members of Team Edward).

Because, well, Lennon did many things, but sparkling? Meh, not so much.

In related ‘Twilight’-ish news, the plagiarism suit against Stephenie Meyer for ‘Breaking Dawn’ has been dismissed.

Bully for her.

-- Christie D’Zurilla

Related dispatches from the Ministry’s temporary Office of Never-Ending Twilight:

PREACH IT! Enjoy the ‘Twilight’ while it lasts, Edward Cullen -- the witches are coming for you! ‘New Moon’ nearly blindsided -- should Robert Pattinson zip it about abstinence? ‘New Moon’ shatters records, scores third-best film opening ever

Fans decide once and for all: Edward Cullen or Jacob Black?

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