PREACH IT! Tiger Woods is still a dirty, dirty little boy

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Tiger Woods posted a letter to the fans on his website Friday. Let’s analyze some of the highlights to see how he’s doing out there. I have to say it felt great to return to competition at the Masters Tournament.

Hooray! Tiger feels great! Hooray!

I received some criticism for bad language, which I apologized for immediately after Saturday’s round. It’s tough when you’re in a competitive environment and in the flow of a tournament.

Tiger cussed! Oh no!

I honestly didn’t know what to expect from the fans, but they were absolutely incredible from Monday through Sunday. It was unreal.

Nobody threw a pitching wedge at your head or called you a ho! Awesome!

It also felt great to be in the hunt again, but unfortunately, I didn’t have my game.

Wow. Maybe not the best choice in words. Just saying. Moving on.

Once the tournament came, everything felt normal, and I fell into my old rhythm and routine. I didn’t even think about it; it just happened. My body knew what to do.

So many ways we could go with that. We’re gonna let that one go too.

Although it was my first tournament using all V-grooves, it was a seamless transition. I played V-grooves in all my irons except my sand wedges at The Presidents Cup and for the remainder of the year, so it was a pretty easy change.

OK, is it us or is this starting to get a little filthy?

I didn’t have much trouble adjusting to the sand wedges because I have the softest ball on the PGA Tour.

Tiger! There are children reading this!

Finally, special thanks to all my fans for their well wishes and support. It means more than you know. Talk to you again soon.

Why, you utterly dirty BEAST -- Oh, wait. I guess that part was wholesome enough. Whelp, thanks for writing home, Tiger. We can see your rehab is totally working great!

-- Leslie Gornstein

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