‘American Idol’: The truth hurts in Texas

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And so the seven-stop, Season 6 audition tour of “American Idol” whimpered to a halt in San Antonio, Texas on Tuesday. (Actually, it’s not quite over; Wednesday night’s episode is a “Best of the Rest”, audition leftovers special.)

The audition tour is not for everyone; not even every hardened “Idol” fan has it in them to sit through ten-some hours of deluded non-talents having their dreams ripped to shreds while a table full of judges struggle to contain their amusement. But the auditions provide a space for a couple of things most of us so rarely encounter in our lives – a (usually) respectful hearing followed by the undiluted truth. And this, is what makes the potentially-tedious tour compelling viewing. OK, that and the weirdoes.

But just to underline the massive achievement of that respectful hearing part. After six seasons, these judges have sat through, likely, thousands of auditions. And still, the trio actually stop and listen to each contestant as they shuffle before the honorary Kelly Clarkson wall. Even when they are in an astronaut costume or crawling on the floor like a jungle cat, the judges give them to chance to be heard (usually), open to the possibility that, hey, you never know. Five years in Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson are still listening.

And once they’ve heard them out, even more improbably, they give them the respect of giving their honest opinion; without patronizing or whitewashing, they tell them what they thought. Anyone who has ever had a conversation with another human being can tell you, that is something that it almost impossible to do. But without flinching (except for Paula) the verdict is delivered. Whether it is, “You were born to be a pop star” or “You have a massive personality problem” no one leaves the room wondering anymore whether they have it or don’t.

To a contestant on Tuesday night’s episode who sobbed as the results trickled in following her performance, Randy asked in the sympathetic but firm voice you want to believe that you would want to be spoken to all the time (but certainly wouldn’t), “You want us to be honest with you right?” And when the contestant nodded, he said, “It really wasn’t good.”

Not harsh, but there it was. And Simon told the “small town girl”, “you are commercial with a capital C” and she asked, insanely, “Is that a good thing?” he could nod with conviction so pure, it could melt your heart “Yes, it’s a very good thing.”

-- Richard Rushfield