‘The Biggest Loser’ recap: The case of the 1,400-calorie tart

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This week was kinda like watching sausage being made. It was ugly, but it was hard to turn away.

It’s starting to feel like all the puzzle pieces are falling into place to have Brendan, Godfather Frado and Patrick march their way to the finale. We even have self-admitted ‘placeholders’ — what a coldhearted word in the context of it all — to help make that happen.

What do you think about this calculating gameplay? Is it the reality of the thing, 10 seasons in? Does it take away from the suspense of it all?

I’m loving it. Because if this season has taught us anything — if this week, with it’s surprise double-elimination and back to pairs play, has taught us anything — it’s that a surprise could be lurking just around the corner.

And I always want to slap my forehead when people fall for the temptation.

This week may have been the best temptation yet, because of the strategy behind it: Frado and Patrick and Brendan and even Aaron, manipulating the strings to make it work in their favor. But why was Elizabeth partaking in the three-course dinner challenge? And why did Lisa — oh, I’m getting to her — jump in as well? Have you learned nothing? This is a weight-loss competition! If you know you are not trying to win the competition, why cave in at all? I am particularly disappointed in Elizabeth. She has everyone rooting for her, myself included, and yet just seems to be so witless at times. I still don’t think she understands why Bob and Jillian jumped all over her and Lisa at the weigh-in. (Have we ever seen Jillian yank Bob into the fray like that?) But these two are acting like bestest girlfriends skipping along and painting each others’ nails, completely ignoring how their actions (or inaction) are hurting others.

By the way, I’m tired of this ‘I want to prove women can be strong’ crap. Ladies, can we just knock that off? We’ve had several women win the ‘Biggest Loser’ already. No one is sitting at home wondering, ‘Gee, can the women really keep up?? Hmmm. I wonder.’ Just show us what you got in the weight room and on the scale, and let that speak for itself.

And now, let’s get to Lisa. At first I had some sympathy despite her shtick: ‘I want to go. I want to stay. Go. Stay. Go. No really, I want to stay.’ I chalked it up to mindless chattering — she’s one of those people who says whatever comes into her head, with no appreciation for context. But that was before the 1,400-calorie chocolate tart. She ate it, and not only defented it but couldn’t understand what the big deal was all about. She kept justifying it by saying that she doesn’t eat that kind of stuff ‘at home.’ I couldn’t tell whether she was referring to home as in the ranch or the home where she actually lives. I wish I could open her head and find out how that justification made any sense either way. ‘Cause the reason that you don’t get chocolate tarts at the ranch is because it’s a WEIGHT-LOSS COMPETITION. And she must have been eating something like that at home, or she wouldn’t need to be at the Biggest Loser Ranch. Ugh. It’s not that I am sick of her, I just don’t understand why she doesn’t get it. How can you stand there and say ‘I’m doing everything I’m supposed to be doing’ after you ate a 1,400-calorie dessert — not a meal, just dessert. I’m glad Jillian gave her that tongue-lashing. We’ll see if it makes a dent.

A team had to go home this week, and it’s hard to argue that it shouldn’t have been Jesse and Aaron. Aaron let his teammate down and just didn’t pull in the numbers. In a way, though, it might have worked out for the best: These are two guys who really needed to learn self-confidence and how to live life outside the ranch, so maybe it’s best that that lesson was sooner in coming.

Aaron, Jesse, you both looked so great at the live reveal. You will both be missed, but I’m sure London is happy that he’s got his dad back. Looking forward to seeing you both at the finale.

Other highlights:

— Jesse’s poignant description of what the ranch gave him: ‘Life paused for a second. And it gave me the chance to grab hold.’

— Jesse pointedly hurt that Patrick betrayed his friendship and their pact, and voted him off the island: ‘You’ll have to explain it to me someday.’

— Single best moment of the week: Lisa scraping the fruit off the chocolate tart and leaving it on the side of her plate. ‘Cause, you know, don’t want any excess carbs.

— London hiding inside his father’s old pants, illustrating just how much weight his dad has lost.

— Rene Lynch
Twitter / renelynch