A Strike Could Leave NFL High and Dry

Some questions to throw up for discussion around the water cooler during Super Week XIX : What would happen if someone organized an umbrella strike? The league has decreed a ban on umbrellas in Stanford Stadium on Jan. 20. Security guards will be on the lookout at the turnstiles and in the stands for smuggled umbrellas. Now suppose all 92,000 fans with tickets showed up at the stadium gates Sunday morning with umbrellas, and refused to enter the stadium unless Pete Rozelle dropped the umbrella ban. It would be too late to bring in 92,000 scab fans, and an empty stadium on national TV is not a pretty picture for the image-conscious NFL. What’s really behind this anti-umbrella business, anyway? The official line is that the stands in Stanford Stadium are gradually sloped, and umbrellas would interfere with spectators’ sight lines. Is that the real reason? Or is the league afraid that a stadium full of sprouting umbrellas would look bad on national TV? That umbrellas project a sissy image? Or does Al Davis own an umbrella factory? If Rozelle really has the fans’ comfort and viewing enjoyment at heart, let him give the fans a choice. Those who don’t mind watching a game with rain driving into their faces, and who don’t mind taking a cold, outdoor shower in January, could sit on one side of the stadium. Those who prefer staying dry, and jockeying for sight lines between umbrellas, could sit on the other. The fans should be given their choice of seating sections--soaking or non-soaking. Did the 49ers buy their way into the Super Bowl? A year ago, the 49ers let nose tackle Pete Kugler, the rock of the defense, slip away to the USFL. This was generally regarded as a capital sin in football-crazy San Francisco, and the front office came under heavy criticism. What followed shortly thereafter was the wildest spending spree in NFL history. The 49ers bought offensive lineman Jim Fahnhorst from the USFL for big money. They quickly drew up new contracts for Joe Montana, $6.9 million for six years; Dwight Clark, about $600,000 a year, and Freddie Solomon. They gave training camp holdout Ronnie Lott a raise from $175,000 to about $550,000. They gave top draftee Todd Shell a contract worth far more than the market value of a low first-rounder. And so on. Is this a classic example of naked panic at the prospect of wholesale defections to the USFL? Or is this smart business, an enlightened ownership calmly electing to protect the team and its fans against the USFL menace by the only logical method--spending a lot of money wisely. The 49er ownership is probably unpopular around the NFL league office, where the policy has been to pretend the other league doesn’t exist, and to encourage NFL teams to hold the line on salaries. But around the Bay Area, the fans seem to feel that the 49ers made the right decision. Is money a motivating factor for the Super Bowl participants? The average salary in the NFL is $160,000, although the average Dolphin and 49er salary is no doubt somewhat higher. Each Dolphin and 49er, before he runs onto the field Sunday, has already earned $28,000 in playoff money. Each player on the winning team Sunday gets an additional $36,000; each loser get an additional $18,000. Also, it is fairly common for players to have incentive bonuses based on the team’s finish written into their contracts. And don’t forget the diamond rings. Do we really need Super Week? I’m not referring to the game itself. I think we all agree the Super Bowl is the very cornerstone of American society as we know it today. But what about the week of buildup preceding the game? Traditionally, the league brings the two teams to the host city a week early. The nation’s media, print and electronic, immediately airlift in hundreds of our greatest journalists, analysts and commentators just in case somebody on either team says or does something meaningful or interesting. The players get cranky about having to answer the same questions all week, the coaches get surly and defensive, and the journalists get bored and desperate. Maybe it would be best for all concerned if the league shipped the two teams off to abandoned fur-trapping outposts north of the Arctic circle for pregame preparation. No media allowed, no annoying distractions, no communication in or out. And no umbrellas.