This Guy Just Might Be a Slice Above the Rest

Kelly Ireland, bidding to win a spot in the World’s Worst Golfer tournament June 19 at Sawgrass, was scouted by Bob Carney of Golf Digest at Holly Tree Country Club in Tyler, Tex.

Ireland, 42, a Tyler attorney, felt good about his chances after hacking out a typical 78 on the front nine. Then his fortunes turned. He blistered the back nine in 65 for a total of 143.

He thought he’d blown it, but Carney still gives him a shot.

“I think what got my attention was when he shot 16 on No. 7 and put four balls out of bounds,” Carney said.

Ireland’s most adventurous hole was a par-3 where he put his tee shot to the right of a trap. Instead of chipping, he pulled out his putter. He proceeded to putt the ball through five yards of grass and 10 yards of bunker to within four feet of the hole.

He then three-putted.

Billy Martin has the Yankees running again, but he said this is one facet of the game he didn’t learn from Casey Stengel, who preferred to push the home run button.

“I remember one year Casey didn’t let us steal all year,” Martin told Joe Gergen of Newsday. “Then, in the first game of the World Series, I get the steal sign against Roy Campanella, the best arm in baseball. That’s the way the old man was.”

Martin didn’t say how it turned out, but the record shows he stole the base. The year was 1953, and Martin had a Series to remember. He batted .500, getting 12 hits to set a record for a six-game series. He had two homers, two triples, batted in eight runs and scored five.

Pete Rose has collected more hits than any man alive, and it’s only a matter of time before he passes Ty Cobb, but he still talks about the ones that got away.

According to John McGrath of the Denver Post, Rose was cursing the fates after Sunday’s game against the New York Mets even though he got three hits.

“Eight balls,” he said. “I hit eight balls good this year that fielders turned great plays on to get me out. These balls were ropes. The shortstop down in Atlanta, Ramirez, he robs me twice. Oberkfell, too. Gladden out in ‘Frisco.

“I’m not saying to give me all eight. Gimme four. That turns me from 15 for 61 which is where I was last week, to 19 for 61. And that makes me a .300 hitter. Right?”

Right. To be precise, .311.

It took awhile, but Zenon Andrusyshyn finally returned to the Coliseum, and this time it turned out better.

At UCLA, he was a three-time loser to USC in 1967-69, but last Saturday night he helped the Tampa Bay Bandits beat the Express, 24-14, with a 42-yard field goal and three conversions.

Andrusyshyn was the goat of the 21-20 loss to O.J. Simpson and USC in 1967 when he misfired on an extra point and a field goal and had two other field goal attempts blocked.

He was a soccer-style kicker then, and his problem was the low trajectory of his kicks. He no longer has the problem, having switched to the old style.

As far as UCLA is concerned, he went straight 18 years too late.

Quotebook

Ernie Duplechin, on his resignation as athletic director at McNeese State at age 52: “I have no reasons whatsoever to give this job up other than the fact that, after 30 years, I’d like to see what the rest of the world’s been doing.”