What Manner of Beast Are Bears?

When they asked Eric Dickerson whether the Bears would have an advantage over the Rams if it comes up freezing Sunday in Chicago, he said, “They’re human, too. They’re not real Bears.”

Could be, but Jim Murray wasn’t so sure when he went to interview Dick Butkus after the Bears lost to the Rams, 17-3, in the linebacker’s last Coliseum appearance in 1971.

When Murray knocked on the door to Butkus’ cubicle, he was turned away by frightening growls from inside.

Bear defensive back Ron Smith, standing nearby, said: “Don’t worry, he’ll be all right as soon as he has his couple cups of blood. You see, he hasn’t had his quarterback today, yet.”

Asked Murray: “Does he shower or just lick himself clean?”

Trivia Time: Which of these running backs holds an NFL record that can’t be broken: Jim Brown, O. J. Simpson, Walter Payton, Tony Dorsett, Eric Dickerson? (Answer below.)

When Sean Landeta of the New York Giants nearly whiffed on that punt last Sunday, Pat Summerall and John Madden said they had never seen anything like it, but Richard T. Kelly of Arcadia writes to note that the same thing happened to USC punter Jim Lucas in the 1975 Rose Bowl game against Ohio State.

“However, Jim’s miss had happier results,” Kelly said. “He picked up the ball and ran 16 yards for a first down.”

True, but more misfortune was ahead. Lucas had his next punt blocked, and his third and final punt of the day traveled only 29 yards. USC still managed to win the game, 18-17.

John McKay, asked about Lucas’ performance, said with typical succinctness: “We had the worst kicking in the history of collegiate football.”

Would-you-believe-it dept.: John Feinstein of the Washington Post, writing about the remarkable concentration of University of Michigan basketball Coach Bill Frieder, said: “Frieder has been asked to leave the blackjack table at several Las Vegas casinos because he is a master at counting cards.”

Wait a Minute: Said ESPN basketball analyst Dick Vitale of Wake Forest guard Tyrone Bogues: “He is the most exciting 5-3 player in the United States.”

There are others ?

Said Lou Holtz, maintaining that Notre Dame faces a backbreaking schedule next season: “We open up with Michigan, followed by Michigan State, Purdue, Pittsburgh, Penn State, SMU, Air Force, LSU, Southern Cal and the Chicago Bears.”

Add Holtz: He said it’s unrealistic to expect wonders next season, but it’s been done before at South Bend. In 1941, Frank Leahy was 8-0-1 in his first season. In 1964, Ara Parseghian was 9-1-0 after taking over a 2-7 team. In fact, Parseghian was 30 minutes from a national championship until USC overcame a 17-0 deficit to beat Notre Dame, 20-17.

Trivia Answer: Tony Dorsett. He holds the record for longest run from scrimmage at 99 yards.

Quotebook

Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald, warning that the Dallas Cowboys could lose their label as America’s Team: “By next January, they may not be Libya’s.”