Beyond Cliche : ‘Have a Good Day,’ the Saleswoman Said. The Phrase May Be Trite, but the Thought Is Not

The saleswoman was young and pretty, and as she handed the man his change, she smiled directly at him. “Have a good day,” she said.

He snorted with outrage, like Scrooge crying humbug. “I’m not having a good day, didn’t yesterday and doubt I will tomorrow.” Stalking away, he muttered, “Cliches aren’t going to help.”

The saleswoman and I had to laugh, and then when she handed over my purchase, she hesitated. “How about, let’s try to be happy today?” she ventured.

One night on TV I heard a comedian do a whole routine on what he called the “California cliche”--pretty funny, too. Yet, as I think about it, I don’t really mind “Have a good day.”

It’s a very small reminder that we are dealing with another human being, and also that we ourselves are perceived as something more than just the other side of a routine transaction. Our lives are so frenzied, chopped up, prepackaged and isolated by machines and electronics that we need all the human contact we can get, no matter how slight it seems.

But there’s a sharper edge to it. I never hear “Have a good day” without wondering, at least for a few seconds, whether I am. Perhaps that’s what irritates some people: a suggestion that if you aren’t having a good day, maybe you ought to do something about it.

Increasingly I have a sense that I shouldn’t let my days drift. “Many people take no care of their money till they come nearly to the end of it,” Goethe said, “and others do just the same with their time.”

When I go to bed at night, I have a vaguely guilty sense that I owe it to myself--maybe even to the world--to not let my days go “bad” simply by accident. Obviously we all get hit by problems and crises beyond our control, but most of the time it is within our power to weave the ordinary texture of our lives.

In what ways can we make a day successful?

If we do our work well, especially if we are able to find a way to stretch just a little, to grow in our capacities and creativity.

If we make a moment to express love to those close to us, and open ourselves to receive it back.

If we find a way to use our bodies, in exercise, games or pleasure.

If we open the inner person to some kind of intellectual or spiritual adventure.

If we discover an opportunity to make a gift of ourselves to our friends or co-workers, even to society at large.

Clearly not all of these happen in one 24-hour period; often it seems like a good day if I can count just one. Food, drink and some new possession may contribute to my sense of well-being, but rarely are they enough to “make” a day by themselves.

Part of the problem is putting an accurate evaluation on our daily achievements. “When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago,” Nietzsche said. We remember past mistakes and failures all too well and tend to link them with current events. We may also downgrade the best elements of our day simply because they have always been easy and natural for us.

More than anything else, however, we sabotage our sense of achievement when we place our happiness in the hands of others. If they are miserable, they hold us hostage. Empathy does not allow us to keep a tally of our own contentment.

And if we rely on someone else to hand us back a thimbleful of our own happiness, we are often disappointed.

Life really does have to be woven day by day with our own hands. Nobody else can see the grand design that most pleases us. To “have a good day” is something better than a dumb exhortation; it’s more like a natural psychic obligation.