BASKET CASES

You’ll notice that our summer movie listing (pages 3-5) includes MGM’s “Shanghai Surprise.” Originally set for Christmas, the Madonna-Sean Penn comedy is now aimed at the warm-weather crowd.

Is the timing right? We shanghaied the script (set in Shanghai of 1937) and it does have lots of physical comedy: Madonna and Sean take a dunking in a fish bin, Madonna and Penn on a mad motorcycle ride (with Madonna in the sidecar) through the city, Madonna and Sean held captive in wicker baskets. (In order to mastermind their escape, the two must first bounce their baskets until they’re side-by-side.)

She’s a missionary who, says the script, “radiates invincible convictions and wholesome beauty.” He’s a scheming fortune-hunter who hawks glow-in-the-dark painted ties. (“They’ll eat ‘em up in L.A.”). The two are brought together by fate--and a search for a half-ton of opium.

It’s like “African Queen.” Sean often succumbs to the demon rum and Madonna tries to steer him to the straight and narrow. Well . . . she does insist that Sean pay a visit to a royal concubine, where he’s put through a rigorous workout, in order to obtain important information. It’s all for the betterment of mankind; if located, the opium will be used to ease the pain of the wartime wounded.

At least that’s what Madonna thinks the opium is for. As it turns out, lots of things aren’t what they seem. . . .