ROCKIN’ ROUND THE FLAG

Is it too late to reschedule the Bicentennial? Now that rock ‘n’ rollers finally are getting into the American spirit en masse, about a decade too late, the MTV channel is starting to look more like something that could be called the USA Network.

This “New Patriotism” takes many forms. There’s Jackson Browne singing that he wished these United States were in the right (“For America”), and then there’s the America-right-or-wrong flavor of novelties like the collaboration between wrestling heavyweight Hulk Hogan and rock lightweight Rick Derringer (“Real American”). Neither vision of the red, white and blue way is very compelling, unfortunately--at least not in the video translation.

There is something uniquely American, though, in the fact that the bottom of this barrel of current video clips is scraped by a bad actor taking on a new career. Ratings are based on a scale of 0-100.

Cathode rays guaranteed to induce alpha waves:

Hulk Hogan and Rick Derringer’s “Real American.” Director: Ed Griles. Derringer had the good sense not to make an appearance in this video for his song from “The Wrestling Album,” but the Hulkster provides ham enough for a hundred clips. While the missing singer promises to “fight for the rights of every man,” the hunky wrestler is seen entering the ring to best an opponent dressed in red, or crumpling up a photo of Kadafi, or playing air guitar against a rear-projection backdrop of mountain majesties and spacious skies. Like Browne’s video, this one also uses stock war footage, but of the more victorious type (i.e., pre-’Nam). The sheer imbecility of a guy in tights equating himself with World War II vets might be more offensive if it wasn’t such a rare example of Dada at its most heightened and aggressive level. 20