MOVIE REVIEW : ‘GIRLS’ REVERSES THE ZANIES-BIMBOS FORMULA

Tired of “daffy, goofy, sex-crazed guys” comedies? Fed up with movies about the lecherous antics of cretinous zanies roving the streets in search of willing bimbos? Well, now at last, comes the antidote, the reversal: a genuine “daffy, goofy, sex-crazed gals” comedy. The title: “Modern Girls” (selected theaters.)

But in this case, the cure (with apologies to Sly Stallone) may be just as bad as the disease.

The movie tries to gives us L. A. in all its hedonistic nighttime glory, as three foxes and a dork driver hit a lot of clubs and get into lots of madcap scrapes. Their problems: Everything from lovelorn British rock superstars to rampaging Wonder Bread bus tours to police raids to bad dope to S & M freaks to (perhaps the worst of all) rude and abusive doormen who won’t let them in the clubs. There’s even a limousine-full of gun-waving Arab terrorists wearing burnooses and Foster Grants. Wow! Just one more wild and crazy night in wild and crazy L. A.: empire of New Wave, fast cars and quick sex. (But not quick enough.)

At the end, the girls discover that macho men are jerks and that warm, considerate men are better; that rock superstars are grand delusions, and that you should never take midnight rides with guys in pickup trucks who drool. These all seem laudable sentiments--but why should you have to watch movies like “Modern Girls” to learn them? Is something with lines like “Cool people have feelings, too” all that superior to “Fraternity Vacation”?

The film makers here may think their movie functions differently--as a piece of social reportage, a semi-realistic glimpse at the lives of club-hopping L. A. single girls, mixed up with fast-paced rock and comedy. Maybe they think that by twisting things around--making a movie about female zanies pursuing male bimbos--they’re being innovative.

Questionable. The crew we see here might be a junior version of “Valley of the Dolls.” Daphne Zuniga’s Margo is the bright, author-surrogate; Virginia Madsen’s Kelly is the star-crossed blond bombshell, and Cynthia Gibb’s Cece is the self-destructive kook. But why stop at “Valley of the Dolls”? These are the same three roving bachelor girls the movies have been giving us for the last 50 years. They might as well be “Three Little Girls in Blue Gone New Wave.”

The movie’s cinematography (by Karen Grossman) and art direction (by Joel Lang) are good. They have the right kind of slick, coolly cluttered prettiness. But the script and direction are so tin-eared and empty that the actors flounder in front of you: Saying these lines must be a little like gargling rocks. (Let’s forgive both Zuniga and Gibb, who’ve been fine in the past.) One minor exception is Clayton Rohner, who gives an effective talent demonstration--not really a performance--in the double role of the dork and the superstar.

And a major exception is Virginia Madsen. Alone in the entire cast, she manages to get some half-real or touching moments into her barely written character: a real case of demonstrating star quality in a vacuum.

‘MODERN GIRLS’ An Atlantic Releasing Corp. release. Producer Gary Goetzman. Director Jerry Kramer. Script Laurie Craig. Executive producers Thomas Coleman, Michael Rosenblatt. Associate producers Anita Rosenberg, June Petersen. Camera Karen Grossman. Editor Mitchell Sinoway. Production design Laurence Bennett. Art director Joel Lang. Music Jay Levy, Ed Arkin. With Cynthia Gibb, Virginia Madsen, Clayton Rohner, Daphne Zuniga.

Running time: 1 hour, 29 minutes.

MPAA rating: PG-13 (parents are strongly cautioned; some material may be inappropriate for children under 13).