Foul Called Against Zoo’s Free-Range Fowl

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

You will recall that the San Diego Zoo had a small problem: Its free-range fowl had proliferated out of control. A handful of pioneers introduced to amuse tourists 40 years back had turned into roving bands of chickens, brush turkeys, and pea, jungle and guinea fowl.

They were pilfering the bear biscuits and fouling the monkeys’ chow. They were running amok and getting crushed by tourist buses. So zoo officials embarked last year on a scrupulously considered plan for publicly palatable population control.

They would gather up the creatures one by one, using specially designed hooks, well-placed nets and humane traps. Most of the birds would be banished to foster homes. A few would remain in the zoo’s canyons, far from newly designated “chicken-free zones.”

Alas, the scheme has failed.

For one, the birds propagated faster than the keepers could catch them. Secondly, it has become apparent that the fowl are spreading a bird virus that wiped out the zoo’s most valuable Chinese pheasant.

The curator of birds, Al Lieberman, says it would be unwise of the zoo to continue giving away fowl and risk other people’s bird collections. So the zoo has a new solution: “Euthanizing the stock.”

Which is to say, the feral birds are now being captured in live traps and given lethal injections of an unidentified drug. As for those that are “trap-shy” and have learned to stay away, they are being shot.

The dragnet is taking place, not surprisingly, after zoo hours. Lieberman said he figures about 100 birds have been killed. The zoo hopes to bring the population, once estimated at 700, down to a tidy 60 to 100.

Indeed, last weekend, the familiar fowl seemed ominously scarce.

“We are a conservation organization,” explained Lieberman. “But . . . we don’t want to jeopardize the multimillion-dollar bird collection for the pleasure of having free-ranging chickens on the ground. . . . The fact is, if I’m going to balance the collection against the chickens, I’m definitely going to favor the collection.”

AWOL Housewife

From the letters column of the Sycuan Bingo Sentinel, the tabloid of bingo arcana published by the Sycuan Band of Mission Indians in El Cajon for the amusement of Bingo guests:

“Dear Bingo Manager,

“Do you know how to cook? Do you know how to clean house? If so, I need you to come to my house this week. I never saw my wife very much since you opened, but at least she got her work done before she came to bingo. Then you started playing those early morning games on Wednesdays and Sundays and now I have to do it all myself. I don’t care if she plays, as long as I get the work out of her first.

“Ted Hargrove, Santee.”

Hargrove, it seems, is not listed in telephone information. Hank Jones, the Sentinel editor, could not be reached Monday.

However, a spokesman in the Sycuan office said he was certain that the letter was not a fake. As a matter of fact, the editor had written back.

“You didn’t indicate in your letter if you were unable to help her out, but I’ll bet you are,” reads the editor’s note to Hargrove. “Back off, or I’ll start sunrise sessions on Mondays and Tuesdays.”

Legendary VIP in Town

According to the mayor, today is Snow White Day in San Diego. Which is to say, Snow White will be here doing a few San Diego things. She will be sleeping at the Hotel del Coronado, hobnobbing with the Navy, handing out coloring books and smiling on TV.

White is on the last leg of her 50th anniversary nationwide tour, which culminates in Minneapolis this week with the re-release of her movie. So she is here to hit the San Diego airwaves, host several parties and shower the city with 100 white rose bushes.

“Snow White stays in special accommodations,” said Pat Hennessy, a spokesman for the Hotel Del, which was to present White with a large lemon birthday cake. “We have her in one of the better rooms, in the main building, with a nice view of the ocean.”

Other special considerations accorded Ms. White?

“We’re making sure that we meet her and bring her into the hotel,” said Hennessy. Asked how he would recognize her out of uniform, Hennessy answered simply, “She’ll be the person with the dwarf.”

Keeping It Clean

Jackie Tushinsky knows a thing or two about controlled exhibitionism: She has masterminded beauty contests, body building extravaganzas and male strip shows. So for this weekend’s Mr. and Miss Mission Beach contest on the boardwalk, she has set down a few rules:

- Only inanimate objects may serve as props.

- Costumes may be scant, not indecent. No G-strings, T-backs or transparent suits.

- No illegal, indecent or immoral behavior. Gesture censorship will be enforced.

“We want it to be a fun, clean thing,” said Tushinsky, who claims the Mission Beach contest has grown over the past decade into the biggest of its kind along the West Coast. “We don’t want someone to win just because they have no clothes on.”

An added attraction this year: Tushinsky says the two-day contest will be filmed by a Hollywood production company as backdrop for a movie about a beach beauty contest. The working title of the film, Tushinsky said, is “Dangerous Curves.”