Angels Turn Out to Be Anything but a Sure Thing

In the top drawer of my desk, behind the paper clips, to the left of the aspirin bottle, is a paper napkin saved from a pizza joint in Chicago. Scribbled with a blue felt-tip pen are the 1988 baseball predictions of Angel beat writers Mike Penner of The Times, Pete Schmuck of The Orange County Register and myself.

At stake: a dinner. And by the way, does anyone have some Wite-Out I can borrow?

The night was April 5, the Angels were 0-1 (losers the day before at Comiskey Park), and I was feeling prophetic.

“Let me have that pen,” I said, and under AL West, quickly jotted down my order of finish.

Kansas City . . . Oakland . . . Texas . . . I paused and then confidently wrote, Minnesota . . . Seattle . . . Chicago . . . California.

That’s right, last. Cellar dwellers. Never would see the light of sixth place.

No power, no pitching, no way, I figured.

Meanwhile, Penner picked them to finish fourth, Schmuck had them third. I had to laugh.

Then this--the reincarnation of the ’27 Yankees. All of a sudden, the Angels can’t lose. They will resume the second half of the season today with a 5-game win streak, 7 victories in their last 8 games, a 17-6 record since June 15.

The Angels? The same team that released Bill Buckner for Junior Noboa, or was it Chico Walker? The same team whose manager had a heavy bag installed in the dugout runway, the better to vent frustrations? The same team whose favorite two words are disabled list ?

Former Angel general manager Buzzie Bavasi was on his way to a high school reunion in early June and stopped to watch the Angels play in Milwaukee. “I’ve been watching them on TV, and I came by to see if they’re really as bad as they look,” said Bavasi at the time.

And?

“They’re worse.”

That’s what I thought. I’m stunned by the turnaround. I’m also getting my American Express card ready.

Do you realize the Angels are now tied for fourth place and are only five games out of third? And don’t think Penner and Schmuck have forgotten. They’re already asking for wine lists and inquiring about the appetizer limit.

And how about this for a statistic: The Angels won 41 of their first 87 games. If they win 44 of their last 75 games, they will match the number of victories the Twins had when they took the division last year.

The Angels in the playoffs? I guess if we can land a man on the moon . . .

What a year the Angels are having. It seemed like just yesterday that General Manager Mike Port was telling everyone that the Angels had “the best young infield in baseball.” He probably didn’t mean the group that started last Sunday’s game against the Cleveland Indians: George Hendrick at first, Johnny Ray at second, Gus Polidor at shortstop and rookie Doug Davis, a catcher, at third.

And remember when Port offered pitcher Mike Witt a two-year contract worth $2.8 million? And Witt signed, later telling reporters that “about a week and a half ago, I thought I was headed to New York. (Yankee owner) George Steinbrenner was super nice to me; he treated me with respect.”

I wonder how nice and respectful Steinbrenner would be had Witt provided the Yankees with the same numbers he has given the Angels so far: a 6-9 record, 4.30 earned-run average.

And while we’re talking numbers, just think of all the money the Angels are saving in incentives this season. Witt would have received $50,000 had he made the All-Star team; DeWayne Buice $15,000, and Brian Downing $50,000.

Mark McLemore had $7,500 coming to him if he won a Gold Glove. McLemore will be lucky to unseat Ray at second.

Donnie Moore could have collected $125,000 for league MVP, the Cy Young award or Rolaids Fireman of the Year award. Guess he’ll have to make do on his million-dollar salary. The same goes for Witt (he gets $1.4 million in salary), who probably can forget those $50,000 bonuses for the Cy Young or league MVP.

Not everyone lost out. Tony Armas received $50,000 for remaining on the roster after June 14 and another $25,000 for making 200 or more plate appearances. He now has 201. Ray got $25,000 from the Angels for his All-Star selection and can earn another $50,000 if he weighs less than 186 pounds throughout the season. Piece of cake . . . I mean, asparagus.

Lucky for Port the Angels aren’t paying for All-Star quote performances. Chili Davis, as spicy a mouth as there is, would have cost the franchise bucks galore. Next to Jumbotron, Davis is the finest Angel addition in years.

How can you not admire a guy who, after committing yet another error in right field, asks reporters what the major league record is for outfield misplays. Told 36 errors, Chili says, “Was his name Davis?”

Davis breaks bats over his knee in anger after striking out. He dislocates toes when upset. He purposely puts himself in funks, the better to help his concentration, and then delivers 480-foot homers to the deepest, darkest regions of Tiger Stadium. Had I known Davis was going to be this much fun and this good (.284 average, 12 homers, 54 runs batted in) I would have picked the Angels much higher, maybe sixth.

Some of Chili’s first-half plums:

“I think I play right field a lot better than center.” (He has 14 errors, enough to tie a club record. Who knows what he’d do in center?)

“He threw a good game, he’s 6-0, I’m not impressed.” (Davis’ assessment of Indian starter Greg Swindell after a May 2 shutout of the Angels. Swindell’s record now: 10-7.)

“Hey, if you ain’t cheating, you ain’t trying.” (The Davis baseball philosophy.)

Actually, the Angels have been good for a bunch of laughs, and I don’t mean just on the field. First, there was that silly rumor concerning a trade of Ray for Dave Winfield. Said Port at the time: “Is (Winfield) going to play for us--or buy us?”

Manager Cookie Rojas set an intergalactic record for use of “helluva.” Every game: “He pitched a helluva game . . . He’s a helluva hitter . . . Pass me the helluva salt shaker . . . “

My first-half favorite Rojas story involves a victory against the Tigers. Moore had earned his first save since last May. Dick Schofield had homered for the first time in 50 games. The Angels had broken an 11-year losing streak against pitcher Doyle Alexander. Said Rojas: “Where’s the champagne, damn it?”

And the understatement of the year? “We just thought Harvey could strengthen the bullpen,” Rojas said after he recalled Harvey from Edmonton April 21. Since then, Harvey has 8 saves, 4 wins, a 2.12 ERA, 41 strikeouts and only 15 walks.

And when Rojas learned that the Angels had signed utility player Thad Bosley, Rojas gushed, “That’s the best news I’ve heard in two months.”

Who knows what will happen during the remainder of the season. Will Wally Joyner, still not thrilled with his contract, have to film a new razor blade commercial?

How do you shave an Angel?

Get Mike Port.

Will Devon White remember that talking on the phone at game time isn’t the next best thing to being there in center field?

Will the Angels ever apologize for describing Dan Petry’s ankle injury, the one that has kept him from pitching since mid-June, as “a mild sprain”?

Do the Angels wish they had Buckner back?

Aren’t the Angels glad they didn’t release Greg Minton when they had the chance?

And one last question, this one to Penner and Schmuck:

Italian or Chinese?