A Loud Assault on TV Phoniness

It’s time, once again, for the public-service feature that keeps you on top of TV news--the Los Angeles Times Troubleshouter .

Yes, I’m your TV news repairman, trying to fix the troubles with newscasts--the crummy little tricks they use to keep you tuned in--by SHOUTING ABOUT THEM!!!

-- “I’m live.” The 11 p.m. newscast on KNBC Channel 4 is only a few minutes old. Filling the screen is reporter Phil Shuman, who is about to introduce and narrate his tape package about prostitutes and AIDS.

“We’re live on Sepulveda,” Schuman begins.

BUT WHY??? WHY IS CHANNEL 4 HAVING SHUMAN, ITS NIGHTSIDE REPORTER, STAND ON THE STREET AND DO A LIVE INTRO TO A TAPED REPORT???

THERE IS ONLY ONE REASON!!!

It’s the reason for most live stand-ups on TV--to hype the newscast by giving the coverage a false sense of excitement and immediacy.

-- “Meanwhile, Tawny....” The program is “Eyewitness News” on KABC-TV Channel 7, anchored this time by Harold Greene and Tawny Little. And just listen to them.

“Tawny, that big rainstorm caused some big problems. . . .”

“Harold, a policeman was killed in a fiery crash. . . .”

WHY DO SO MANY NEWS ANCHORS INTRODUCE STORIES BY FIRST ADDRESSING THEIR CO-ANCHORS??? WHY DON’T THEY END THIS ANNOYING CONTRIVANCE AND TALK TO US, THE VIEWERS, INSTEAD OF EACH OTHER???

HERE IS WHY!!!

They are acting out a rehearsed scenario in attempting to be familial--the conventional, self-promotional wisdom being that if they appear to chat like a family in a living room, then we will consider them our extended family, and love and feel so comfortable with them that we will never turn to another newscast, where there is another anchor family going through the same act.

“Tritia, here at home. . . .”

-- The ambushman . Beware of this man if you see him hiding in the bushes with a TV crew. He is Judd McIlvain, the KCBS-TV Channel 2 “Troubleshooter,” one of the last of the great ambush interviewers.

There he is on Channel 2, delivering his expose of controversial Direct American Marketers Inc., one of the firms that sends out those contest-winner letters you get in the mail all the time and immediately throw out if you’re smart. Everything McIlvain does is tainted by self-promotion. But he surely does some good, and it’s not his motives that are so questionable, it’s his tactics.

“When I tried to talk to Larry Shanker, the president of the company, about the allegations of fraud, he threw us out,” McIlvain says in his story. Cut to the Troubleshooter marching into the firm’s office in front of his camera. And, then, as if on cue, Shanker puts his hand in front of the camera and says, “I ask you to leave the premises . . . turn it off.”

There is motion. There is commotion. There is emotion. There is McIlain saying: “Mr. Shanker . . . please don’t attack. . . .” There is Shanker saying: “You can come inside if you want to.” But without the camera. And McIlvain reports that Shanker refused to discuss allegations against the firm.

McIvain used this footage in newscasts on separate evenings. There was an initial report on the firm’s allegedly unholy practices and later an almost identical one reporting that the firm had been charged with criminal violations of the state business code.

Journalistic violations are another matter.

THE TROUBLESHOUTER ACCUSES THE TROUBLESHOOTER OF ENTERING THE PREMISES OF DIRECT AMERICAN MARKETERS INC. KNOWING FULL WELL THE LIKELIHOOD OF SHANKER PUTTING HIS HAND IN THE CHANNEL 2 CAMERA AND THROWING THE TROUBLESHOOTER OUT!!!

IN FACT, THE TROUBLESHOUTER BELIEVES THAT THE TROUBLESHOOTER WAS HOPING THAT WOULD HAPPEN!!! WHY??? BECAUSE AMBUSH INTERVIEWS ARE GOOD TV, EVEN THOUGH THEY’RE ALSO UNETHICAL, GIVING THE IMPRESSION THAT SOMEONE IS GUILTY OR HAS SOMETHING TO HIDE JUST BECAUSE HE REFUSES TO BE INTERVIEWED IN FRONT OF A ROLLING CAMERA WITHOUT NOTICE!!!

THINK ABOUT IT??? WOULD YOU LET McILVAIN AND HIS CAMERA COMMANDOS IN???

-- “Outstanding story, except for everything you left out.” The Troubleshooter report on alleged mail-order fraud was followed by this illuminating exchange with anchors Jim Lampley and Tritia Toyota.

Toyota: But this happens a lot. I’ve had things in the mail where they say you’ve won, I don’t know what, a toaster oven. And then it says, if you appear at such and such place to pick it up. That’s illegal, too, or not?

Troubleshooter: Well, the safe thing is don’t ever send them any money. I had a lady call me just this afternoon, and they said, ‘You won, but we need to identify you. Could you give us your Visa number--backwards?’ And she did, and they charged $300 on her account. Don’t give ‘em any money.

Toyota: Oh.

Lampley: I’ve read stories in other parts of the country about firms like this ignoring cease-and-desist orders, going to court and having to pay penalties, and going right back into operation.

Troubleshooter: Do you know how much money? Postal officers said they were getting 50,000 letters a day, $9 a whack. If you just had 10% of that, think of the money.

Lampley: Do the illegitimate operations outnumber the legitimate ones in mail-order contests and sweepstakes?

Troubleshooter: Well, from what I found out from postal inspectors, that’s pretty true.

Toyota: All right.

Lampley: So we should be skeptical of everything.

Troubleshooter: Don’t send ‘em any money. If you won something, you won it. You don’t have to pay for it.

Toyota: And, for heavens sakes, don’t give ‘em credit card numbers.

Troubleshooter: Oh no.

Toyota: In any form.

Troubleshooter: Don’t give ‘em mine.

Toyota: Heh heh heh.

Lampley: Heh heh heh.

Channel 2’s is hardly the only news operation that engages in these contrived anchor-reporter dialogues.

Channel 7’s Jim Hill has just concluded a sportscast that outlined the suspension of New York Giants star Lawrence Taylor for an alleged drug violation.

Cut to anchor Angela Black: “Are they gonna pay him while he’s suspended?”

KTTV Channel 11 media critic Eric Burns has just finished his commentary on entertainment TV’s reluctance to tackle AIDS stories.

Cut to anchor Bill Redeker: “But should TV deal with AIDS?”

On “The CBS Evening News,” Bob Schieffer has just concluded his report on Vice President George Bush campaigning in St. Louis.

Cut to Dan Rather: “Bob, as you know, representatives of the Bush and Dukakis campaigns are to meet tomorrow in Washington to discuss debates. How is the Bush campaign reacting to the Dukakis forces’ charge that the vice president, seeing he is ahead in the polls, is simply dragging his feet on the debates?”

Forget about the answers. Why were the anchors even asking the questions?

Are TV reporters going on the air with stories that are so deficient that anchors have to fill in the gaps? If so, why aren’t gaps filled before the stories are aired, instead of afterward in these phony-sounding anchor-reporter chats?

Or if the stories aren’t deficient, then why are the anchors asking questions? What’s going on here?

THIS IS GOING ON: ANOTHER SCHEME TO KEEP YOU WATCHING!!! IT’S CALLED “ANCHOR INVOLVEMENT,” THE THEORY BEING THAT IF THE ANCHORS APPEAR TO BECOME PART OF THE STORIES, YOU’LL THINK SO HIGHLY OF THEM AS JOURNALISTS AND CARING INDIVIDUALS THAT THEY’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAVORITES!!!

(Editor’s note: “Outstanding column, Howard. But . . . should TV deal with AIDS?”)