Sweeps Time on TV: All the Swill That’s Unfit to Screen

Thanksgiving my eye. November’s turkeys are nothing to give thanks for.

Once again, television is bringing America the swill of sweeps, programs and promotions tailored to a monthlong ratings period so crucial to the setting of advertising rates that industry executives try luring viewers to the screen by any means possible.

In November, grime time goes prime time:

--Ads: It’s early to be designating the month’s most repulsive sweeps promotion, but KNBC Channel 4’s cynical newspaper ad for its news series on capital punishment has set a low mark that will be hard to beat.

Appearing Monday, it asked: “Will the gas chamber at San Quentin be put back into service? Who will be the first to die?” Above that was a picture of an execution chair with a headline that shouted: “TONIGHT, WE’LL TAKE YOUR BREATH AWAY.”

Fortunately, the ad does not reflect the serious tone of the series, by reporter Furnell Chapman. Is this truth in advertising?

--Geraldo Rivera: If ever anyone was begging for trouble, it was Rivera when he invited white supremacist skinheads to share a stage with a rabbi and black civil-rights activist Roy Innes for his “Geraldo” talk show. He got it when his nose was smashed and bloodied in a violent brawl during the taping.

Originally scheduled to air in late November, the “riot” episode instead was aired last Friday (locally on KCBS-TV Channel 2) to take advantage of the media spotlight on the wild melee. So hate-spewing white supremacists again became components of the TV ratings race, this time on behalf of “Geraldo.”

Neo-Nazi types have joined other fringe groups in becoming staples of such talk shows as “The Morton Downey Jr. Show,” “Donahue,” “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and “Geraldo,” all of which thrive on confrontation.

Provocative topics are the oxygen of these shows--and doubly so during ratings sweeps. Parading transvestites in front of the camera to attract gawkers is one thing, however; giving Nazis a stage in exchange for the good ratings they somehow produce is quite another--the unholiest of alliances.

But that’s exactly what “Geraldo” did under the pretense of exposing Nazis as the evil cretins they are. Was he serious? We need Geraldo Rivera to inform us about the perils of Nazis? Doesn’t he know we watch “Donahue” and “The Oprah Winfrey Show”?

Rivera surely did not anticipate or hope to provoke violence when he invited Aryan supremacists on his show. But he surely hoped to provoke conflict.

How else can you explain the presence of the rabbi and, especially, of Innes? National chairman of the Congress of Racial Equality (CORE), Innes is a volatile man who several months ago shoved a guest and sparked a violent fracas during a taping of the Downey show. And how else can you explain the packing of Rivera’s audience on “riot” day with a potentially lethal mix of clashing skinhead factions?

When you fill a room with combustibles and then light a match, an explosion is inevitable.

And the inevitable happened, with Innes becoming the match by placing his hands around the neck of someone who had just called him an “Uncle Tom.”

The whole place immediately erupted in violent chaos. After everyone settled down, Rivera the provocateur continued taping, the white supremacists having been evicted from the show after serving their purpose. Thanks for dropping by. We’ll call you again when we need another explosion.

Just for good measure, there was a live shot of the villains being escorted from the building, supposedly as punishment, even though they had merely done what was expected of them by being repugnant, and even though Innes had been the catalyst who made the first threatening gesture.

End of story, but not end of puzzle.

White racists despise non-whites. Is it reasonable, then, to believe that Innes--a veteran of countless civil rights battles--would participate in a show with white supremacists not expecting to hear racial epithets? And is it possible that, after a career of repeatedly hearing the more-incendiary “N” word, he would be set off by an “Uncle Tom” reference?

Meanwhile, there was Rivera Friday, injured and in his glory after dispatching the forces of evil, bravely carrying on, fighting for racial equality--and ratings.

One of these days, someone is going to get killed on a show like this. And won’t that be good television.

--Hucksters and Bucksters: One of the prominent features on Monday’s “People Magazine on TV” special was an interview with Angela Lansbury, star of “Murder, She Wrote.”

Lansbury was interviewed backstage on the set of her show, which is on CBS, just as “People Magazine on TV” was on CBS, just as CBS uses interviews on “CBS This Morning” to advertise its programs, just as ABC and NBC also use their programs to sell their programs.

Is there a line that separates entertaining and selling? Not during sweeps.

When it comes to deceptive and incestuous cross-promotion during sweeps, however, the text was written by KABC-TV Channel 7. The masters are now at work on ABC’s “War and Remembrance.”

Reviewer Gary Franklin gave it a “10-plus” endorsement Friday, then did a behind-the-scenes interview with executive producer/director Dan Curtis for a Sunday newscast on which anchorman Harold Greene also praised the miniseries and reminded viewers of its starting time.

The newscast was followed by a half-hour special on the making of “War and Remembrance,” whose premiere that evening was followed by a Channel 7 newscast that featured a heavily promoted interview with “War and Remembrance” star Jane Seymour.

How long will they continue? As long as the 18-hour “War and Remembrance” continues.

--Phil Donahue: How does this man get through sweeps with a straight face? His “Donahue” talk show had always engaged in some trivial pursuit during sweeps months. But now--in trying desperately to compete with “The Oprah Winfrey Show”--his once-formidable show has become November’s funniest comedy.

His topics this month include: “Gay Porn Stars Who Aren’t Gay,” “Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling,” “Married Five Times or More,” “Teacher/Student Marriages,” “When Sexual Fantasies Include Your Friend’s Mate,” “What Is the Proper Time and Place for Sex?,” “Geishas to Go,” “Wild Bachelorette Parties” and “Are Girlfriends Better Than Wives?”

Even more inspired is “Transvestite Fashion Show,” an hour featuring breast forms, wigs and women’s clothes for men, plus advice from a woman on how to walk and behave like a woman.

Still, these topics are lacking in imagination. What we’re all hungering for is a real fringe-for-all that would incorporate the best of “Geraldo” and “Donahue”--something along the lines of “Aryan Transvestites for Purity in Cross-Dressing.”

It would take your breath away.