THE YEAR IN REVIEW : A Look Ahead, Behind : Many Struggled Through ‘88, but Near Year Offers Hope : PADRES

With apologies to David Letterman, we offer lists detailing what happened in 1988 and, in some cases, how 1988 will impact 1989 .

Seven reasons the Padres’ 1989 season will be different from 1988:

1. They won’t have to worry about a club president making an obscene gesture to the fans on Fan Appreciation Night.

First, the Padres no longer have a club president. Chub Feeney resigned last fall within hours of wagging an obscene right-hand gesture at some heckling fans.

Second, Feeney has reportedly moved back to the comforts of San Francisco, where his gesture is the social equivalent of a handshake.

Third, if club officials are smart, they will hold this year’s fan appreciation activities during an afternoon game. Even if Feeney chooses to fly down for an encore, he’ll probably be napping at that hour if last year’s routine is any indication.

2. They won’t have to worry about a manager engaging in a fist fight with any players.

Larry Bowa is gone. Stanley Jefferson is gone.

And the last person dumb enough to mess with Jack McKeon, Bowa’s replacement, still has the cigar burns to prove it.

3. They won’t have to worry about firing a manager at 7 a.m.

It worked with Bowa, who was canned on May 28 in New York while still in his pajamas. But it won’t work with McKeon. Virtually every day on the road at 7 a.m., he’s in church. Considering the erratic history of Padre management, that’s not a bad idea.

4. They won’t have to worry about losing a starting third baseman for 3 days with a bruised tooth root.

Chris Brown is gone.

Come to think of it, the Padres also won’t have to worry about losing a starting third baseman for a week because he twisted his heel walking off the field.

Or worry about losing a starting third baseman for a week because he hurt his thumb sucker-punching one of the club’s reserve outfielders (Marvell Wynne).

Or worry about losing a starting third baseman for 5 minutes during the middle of the game because of a broken jockstrap.

Where did Chris Brown go?

Does it matter?

5. They won’t have to worry about their home-run hitter turning a cartwheel after a home run.

Keith Moreland is gone, having been shipped with Brown to Detroit. In Detroit, the players turn cartwheels following every home run, delighted that they have just trotted 360 feet in public without being shot.

The Padres’ new home run hitter, Jack Clark, turned his first and last cartwheel when he found he was being traded here from the New York Yankees.

Jack McKeon was dumb enough to try a cartwheel just once, and he has the cigar burns to prove it.

6. They won’t have to worry about any frustrated manager or fan wanting to tear Jimmy Jones’ face off.

The mild-mannered and erratic starting pitcher has been traded to the New York Yankees. The latest New York Post insta-poll says his face won’t make it to the All-Star break.

7. They won’t have to worry about pitcher Andy Hawkins’ shoulder.

Hawkins became a free agent and signed with the New York Yankees for about double what he would have been paid in San Diego, partially because the Padres were worried about a right shoulder that caused him trouble in 1987 and may have hindered him late in 1988.

In his first press conference as a Yankee, he said he was looking forward to moving out of San Diego and settling his wife and family in New York. The Yankees aren’t worried about his shoulder--they are worried about his head.