Spring cleaning--time to get rid of those...

Spring cleaning--time to get rid of those pesky dust bunnies and Uzis that just seem to accumulate under the bed.

Los Angeles City Councilman Nate Holden’s 1980s version of a scrap metal drive--bring out your semiautomatic weapons--has netted an Uzi assault rifle from a Van Nuys area woman who kept it under her bed, and three AK-47s, the kind used in the Stockton schoolyard massacre, including one from a 16-year-old La Canada-Flintridge boy who got it as a gift.

The councilman is offering up to $300 per weapon, a tactic his mayoral race opponent, Tom Bradley--who prefers a statewide ban (also supported by Holden)--said was “not a way to solve this problem.”

Now if you, in your housecleaning, run across one of these babies, here’s what to do:

Take it to a police station, after first notifying the station in advance, and putting the unloaded, disassembled gun in your car trunk. “This kind of weapon,” said Cmdr. William Booth, “has no place in a civil society.” Much less under your bed.

Just in time for Size 4 Nancy Reagan’s return to L.A.: no-cholesterol cheese at one of her old-favorite Beverly Hills hangouts, the Bistro Garden.

Although it’s already out in down-home grocery stores, the new cheese took its official bow in the uptown restaurant Wednesday, appearing in sauces, puffs and dips by its creator, Pennsylvania cheesemeister Angelo Morini.

“Formagg” is said to taste better than it sounds--made from the milk protein casein.

Also Wednesday night, a few miles away, other celebrities were enjoying 1950s retro delicacies at Ed Debevic’s diner, in honor of a new film, “Parents.” It’s about your ordinary I-Like-Ike American couple whose entree of choice happens to be roast rack of man.

Five days before his father’s successor was sworn in as President, Michael Reagan was doing some swearing himself.

The former President’s 43-year-old son, a Sherman Oaks resident who recently began work as co-host of a morning radio talk show in San Diego, admitted that he left a rather nasty message on the answering machine of a photographer who is suing him for $1,500 over publication of two photos.

The city attorney’s office will decide whether to file a misdemeanor charge against Reagan, who acknowledged telephoning Roger Sandler after he was served with a subpoena in a small-claims case over photos Reagan used in his book without crediting Sandler.

Sandler said a man identifying himself as Reagan stated, “You can quote me,” and concluded the threatening tirade with, “I hope your . . . family dies in a plane crash with you in it.”

The Reagan statement after-the-fact: “I lost my cool, which I should not have done, and I apologize for that. But I actually apologize more to my friends and my family for this kind of behavior, which is caused by the pressures placed on me because of my position.”

Round 2: On Wednesday, we told you that attorney Howard Weitzman was suing his stellar ex-client, auto maker John DeLorean, for nearly $700,000 in legal fees Weitzman says he is still owed for getting DeLorean off the hook on federal charges.

Now, DeLorean’s people say the bill was paid in full when DeLorean signed over his 48-acre San Diego County estate to Weitzman. It’s not DeLorean’s fault, says Detroit attorney Mayer Morganroth, that British interests seeking money from DeLorean then held up the sale of the property for several years in court.

Nor is it DeLorean’s fault that--incredible as it may seem--those 48 acres of California real estate lost value over that time, and sold for less than half the assessed $2.5 million, says Morganroth.

But enough of that here. Henceforth they can tell it to the judge.