It’s a Bad Bad Bad Bad World With the Baddest of the Bad Boys

To know him is to not love him.

Bill Laimbeer.

Chief punk, Detroit Pistons.

Public enemy No. 1, NBA, not FBI.

One of Detroit’s notorious Bad Boys. Baddest of the bad. Bad to the bone.

Part of Detroit’s Hate Connection, along with Rick Mahorn. The malice of Auburn Hills.

Bill Laimbeer, the punch-back from Notre Dame.

Who is this guy, anyway?

The Masked Marauder?

If you took a poll of National Basketball Assn. players to find out the Least Liked, Laimbeer would not finish first.

He would finish first, second and third.

Then he’d take a swing at the guy who took the poll.

Furthering his reputation as the NBA’s Mr. Sluggo, the Detroit center has been slapped with three technical fouls in the first two games of the Eastern Conference championship series, which resumes Saturday at Chicago Stadium with the Pistons and Chicago Bulls tied at a victory apiece.

Laimbeer was kicked out of Tuesday’s 100-91 Detroit victory in the third quarter, after his second elbowing episode of the night. The second time, the 6-foot-11 Laimbeer threw an elbow at Bull guard John Paxson, who stands 6-2.

In Chicago star Michael Jordan’s opinion: “Laimbeer did some things out there that were uncalled for. Laimbeer just tries to intimidate people. He’s the instigator. We’re trying to turn the other cheek.”

Which is dangerous, because that’s when Laimbeer puts an elbow into it.

“He’s just dirty,” Chicago forward Charles Davis said.

When Davis accidentally knocked down Detroit’s Dennis Rodman on a drive to the basket in Game 1, Laimbeer retaliated by rushing Davis. Rodman, flat on his back, understood that Davis was simply trying to prevent a layup, and was about to accept Davis’ helping hand to rise to his feet when Laimbeer intervened.

In Game 2, two seconds before the technical that got him disqualified, Laimbeer gave Chicago forward Scottie Pippen a two-handed shove, after the referee’s whistle had blown the play dead.

No wonder when Jordan went soaring over Laimbeer for a colossal dunk, he turned to Laimbeer and stared daggers at him, adding a slight wag of his index finger, as in: “Naughty, naughty.”

Laimbeer says he merely gives and takes, playing physical basketball. Oh, and P.S.: “I don’t care what Michael Jordan says.”

Detroit Coach Chuck Daly concurs, insisting that whatever Laimbeer and Mahorn do, officials look at them “with a magnifying glass.” Daly said no way did Laimbeer deserve being ejected, that the contact with Paxson was not deliberate, but the result of Laimbeer’s setting a pick.

In their center’s defense, teammates say that Laimbeer was blamed for the serious injury suffered by Milwaukee’s Larry Krystkowiak in the Pistons-Bucks semifinal series, even though he was in no way responsible. Milwaukee Coach Del Harris disagreed, screaming at Laimbeer after Krystkowiak went tumbling to the court with what could turn out to be a career-threatening knee injury.

“He gets blamed for everything,” Rodman said.

A few of the Pistons have not forgotten that it was a foul called against Laimbeer--a phantom foul, in some opinions--that sent Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to the line for the free throws that robbed Detroit in 1988 of what would have been its first NBA championship.

Laimbeer’s popularity has never been lower, at least out of Detroit. His reputation as a cheap-shot artist and whiner was not, perhaps, deserved, but it flourished after a nationally televised playoff game in which he practically body-slammed Boston’s Larry Bird to the floor. Bird retaliated by throwing first a fist and then the basketball at Laimbeer.

Days later, at Boston Garden, Robert Parish of the Celtics threw two roundhouse sucker punches at Laimbeer after some contact beneath the basket. Bird, meanwhile, refused to shake Laimbeer’s hand before any game, ignoring it every time the Piston center extended it.

“I’ve got no use for that guy,” Bird said.

Accused of many things but never being dumb, Laimbeer had a habit of avoiding fights, figuring the opponent would get ejected. While being smart, it earned Laimbeer another bad rap, that of “wimp.” So, particularly during this last season, he has taken to striking back.

Already he has gotten into altercations with Cleveland’s Brad Daugherty and others, and, after a scrap at Atlanta, Dominique Wilkins of the Hawks called Laimbeer “about the dirtiest guy in the game.”

After years of denying or downplaying this image, Laimbeer has decided to promote it. He and Mahorn posed for a best-selling “Bad Boys” poster in which they are wearing sleeveless shirts and dark glasses. T-shirts billing the Pistons as the NBA’s “Bad Boys” are among the hottest items in Michigan.

Game 1 of the Eastern Conference finals was barely under way when Laimbeer, called for a foul, was on his hands and knees and whacked the arena floor with his open palm, drawing a technical. As with many NBA stars, Abdul-Jabbar in particular, Laimbeer rarely admits to a foul.

“Laimbeer does everything he can do to distract you from your game,” Chicago’s Pippen said. “He’ll bump you, elbow you, talk to you, pick a fight with you, whatever he can think of. He’s not the cleanest player who ever played, that’s for sure.”

In his own defense, Laimbeer said: “I don’t have to justify the way I play. I play hard, same as everybody else. People make up their minds about you, and there’s no changing it. I just don’t give a damn what people say or think anymore, except for the guys on my own team.”

These days, when Bill Laimbeer is booed on the road, he has taken to orchestrating the crowd with his arms, begging for more. He has become a pro wrestling villain, not only accepting the bad-guy’s role, but encouraging it.

Bad, bad, bad, bad boy.

He’s Bill Laimbeer, the NBA’s most volatile player.