Pleading the Case for Man’s Best Friend

The University of Virginia was criticized by the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals because its veterinary school used stray dogs from pounds for research.

Said Alan Williams, the school’s faculty athletic representative: “So now we’re using lawyers. There’s more of them, and nobody cares how they’re treated.”

Name game: Chris Berman, the ESPN announcer who pins those goofy nicknames on ballplayers, is at it again this season, and here are some early offerings:

Roberto (Remember the) Alomar, David (Sili) Cone, David (Death) Valle, John (Hia) Wathan, Tom (Cotton) Candiotti, Chili (Con Carne) Davis, Todd (Mercedes) Benzinger, Craig (For What It’s) Worthington and Rob (Double) Dibble.

Then there’s Bill (Beethoven) Schroeder, Mike (Nova) Scioscia, Gene (Full) Nelson, Bob (Intentional) Walk, Dennis (Fluorescent) Lamp, John (I Am Not a) Kruk, Marty (Grin and) Barrett and Kirt (What Was That) Manwaring.

He even has separate nicknames for the Maddux brothers--Mike (Matha) Maddux and Greg (Appo) Maddux.

Add Berman: He recently ventured into golf with this one: Bob (Curds And) Tway. And, a nickname to end all nicknames: Larry Mize (Have Seen the Glory). Get it?

Trivia time: Which player had the longest hitting streak in the major leagues last season?

He got the point: When told that Tony Mandarich, 300-pound Green Bay Packers draftee, was being ballyhooed as an opponent for Mike Tyson, former New York Jets star Joe Klecko, who boxed at Temple, recalled an afternoon with Joe Frazier.

“I’d never sparred with Frazier before but now I was in there banging with him and I guess I got a little too loose,” Klecko told the New York Times. “He threw a left hook but he stopped it right there next to my head, then he laughed. That one left hook was enough for me to realize that I didn’t really want to be a boxer.”

Radar Ryan: Texas Rangers Manager Bobby Valentine says of Nolan Ryan: “On our radar gun at Arlington Stadium, Nolan has topped out at 97 m.p.h. And he’s averaged 93 m.p.h. Averaged.”

Says Minnesota Twins’ hitting coach Tony Oliva, a former batting champion: “He’s the fastest I’ve faced, and that includes Sandy Koufax, Don Drysdale, Sam McDowell, Jim Palmer, Bob Gibson and J.R. Richard.”

Add Ryan: He struck out Bo Jackson six straight times before the Kansas City Royals slugger hit a 461-foot shot off him last month. It was the longest measured home run in Arlington Stadium history.

Ryan had thrown a couple of knockdown pitches before Jackson unloaded, and Bo said, “I don’t know if he was wild or not. But Nolan Ryan has been pitching longer than I’ve been alive. If he wanted to hit me, he could have.”

Says Terry Francona of the Milwaukee Brewers: “When I see his name in the pitching probables, I don’t exactly hurry to the ballpark.

Would-you-believe-it Dept.: Johnny Bench, voted into the Hall of Fame this year, is younger than Royal catcher Bob Boone. Boone will be 42 on Nov. 19, or 18 days before Bench.

Trivia answer: John Shelby of the Dodgers, 24 games.

Quotebook: Former heavyweight champion George Foreman, on his comeback: “There are those that say I don’t fight a guy unless he’s on a respirator. That’s a big lie. He has to be eight days off the respirator.”