Finally a Little Respect for Comedy Writers

Oh, it’s fine to be a doctor or lawyer or realtor, but when your kid starts thinking of college, check the catalogues for courses in TV comedy writing. Incredible stories are making the Hollywood rounds about multimillion-dollar deals being cut by writers with networks and studios who are hotly pursuing them.

Just about everybody in TV knows about ABC panting after Jim Brooks (“The Mary Tyler Moore Show,” “Broadcast News”), with a $30-million-plus price tag reportedly attached. Then there was the astonishing $18-million deal between Neal Marlens and Carol Black (“The Wonder Years”) and MCA, which fell apart, supposedly over creative control. Such negotiations involve multiple projects--TV series and films, perhaps.

Steven Bochco (“Hill Street Blues,” “L.A. Law”) set a precedent by signing for 10 series with ABC when the network was anxious to upgrade its image. His new comedy, “Doogie Howser, M.D.,” while no smash, is one of the few relative successes of the new TV season. And Matt Williams, who created “Roseanne” and then was forced out of the show by star Roseanne Barr, recuperated nicely with a $10-million deal with Disney, where he’s been developing Carol Burnett’s new NBC comedy series.

Stories abounded that one big-name writer-producer got a $30-million check for a partial cut of his share of the rerun profits of his series. But what is truly astonishing is the inside talk that multimillion-dollar contracts are being offered not only to the top names in the business like Bochco and Brooks, but to some writers in the second rank as well, even though their resumes may be short of sensational credits.

What’s happening is that the networks and studios are gambling. They’ve seen producers like Marcy Carsey and Tom Werner make several hundred million dollars from “The Cosby Show,” not to mention “Roseanne” and “A Different World.” They see the enormous financial value of writer-producer Susan Harris, who created “The Golden Girls,” “Soap” and “Empty Nest”; of Diane English, who did the same for “Murphy Brown,” and, if they are smart, of Linda Bloodworth-Thomason, who brought “Designing Women” to life.

The networks and studios have seen writer-producer Gary David Goldberg help turn “Family Ties” into a monster hit and money machine. Can you imagine the value of “Cheers” creators James Burrows, Glen Charles and Les Charles? Remember the awesome influence that Garry Marshall had on ABC with such shows as “Happy Days,” “Laverne & Shirley,” “Mork & Mindy” and “The Odd Couple”?

What is making the networks and studios gamble is the simple fact that comedies pay off bigger than any other form of programming in reruns--the so-called “back end” of the production and distribution process, where giant fortunes are made. It is not lost on the networks that the reruns of one smash series like “The Golden Girls” can earn more than the entire annual profits of an ABC, CBS or NBC.

Therefore, investing even in second-rank writers who show potential seems entirely worth it. Most of the first-rank names with major TV track records are either already tied up or into numerous other projects, from TV to motion pictures. Brooks, for instance, turned out the film “Terms of Endearment” as well as “Broadcast News.” Michael Leeson, a writer for “The Cosby Show” and “Taxi,” wrote the very hot new film “The War of the Roses.”

None of this is to say, however, that writers of top-drawer, one-hour dramas will go wanting. It’s just all relative. A good show is a good show, and a payoff is a payoff, even though the reruns of “Who’s the Boss?” inevitably will out-earn the repeats of dramas like “Cagney & Lacey.”

Furthermore, the many program-hungry cable channels are turning out to be a healthy balancing force for writers and producers of worthwhile one-hour dramas, as well as comedies that may not be as mainstream as the networks would like--such as Dabney Coleman’s “Buffalo Bill.” The Lifetime cable channel, for instance, is building an attractive schedule, adding daily reruns of “Moonlighting” in February to a lineup that already includes “Cagney & Lacey” and first-run episodes of the quirky and delightful former NBC comedy, “The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd.”

According to sources in the writing and producing communities, cable is coming up with more money for shows and scripts than might have been expected in the past. Compared to the traditional TV outlets, “It’s acceptable--it’s pretty close,” said one writer. Added a representatives of the Writers Guild of America: “It’s not a fire sale.”

Thus, it seems, writers are getting more and more of what they once lacked in Hollywood: respect. With the stakes now extraordinary, networks and studios seem to understand the full impact of the old show-business adage: “If it’s not on the page, it’s not on the stage.” The profit figures are incontrovertible and mind blowing, to wit:

The minimum payment to a writer of a half-hour TV comedy episode, for both story and teleplay, is about $12,700, according to the WGA. That single episode, said a source, can skyrocket to a rerun value of $5 million for a company in an extreme case like “The Cosby Show,” which had unprecedented sales. Yet even for lesser hits, such as “Who’s the Boss?,” a single episode might bring $2 million in rerun money. For “Family Ties” or “Cheers,” the rerun sales for a single episode--and this is for just the first time around--might yield $1.5 million.

Prices for comedy reruns may decline a bit, especially since “The Cosby Show” failed to live up to expectations. And one-hour dramas, conversely, may well find their value increasing--especially with cable now in the picture--because there’s a shortage of superior series available for syndication in this field. And that could be good news for the writers and producers of such shows as “thirtysomething,” “Midnight Caller” and “Wiseguy,” which eventually will go into reruns.

More important, from a viewer’s standpoint, is that a healthier payoff market for good drama will encourage the further creation of such series.

According to the WGA, the minimum payment to the writer of a one-hour show, for both story and teleplay, is about $18,700. But that, as with payment for half-hour comedy scripts, is just the start of the path that can lead to remarkable riches. A writer might progress to a staff job for a series, which could also entail rewriting and editing. Other steps on the path might include executive producer, creator of one or more shows and ownership.

It’s hardly a cinch. The rule book isn’t the same for everyone--Bochco and Brooks don’t exactly write for minimum. But amazing factors enter into this volatile, wide-open business. The word is that the supposed $18-million MCA bid for Marlens and Black of “The Wonder Years” carried the huge price tag because of the network series commitments that they already had.

But it’s all variations on a stunning theme. So check out those college catalogues.