Short Takes : Witches Dispel Serious Notions Brewing Up Their Predictions
NEW YORK — In their annual Halloween look at what’s up next year, American witches today predicted that Sen. Jesse Helms (R-N.C.) and Oliver L. North will record a rap album attacking the Soviet Union and the National Endowment of the Arts.
Muffin juggling also will became a big fad.
In the 17th annual survey compiled by the New York Center for the Strange, the witches also forecast shortages of volleyballs, garlic and chopsticks and a new book will claim that Elvis Presley was a Soviet agent.
Not only that, Jimmy Carter, Michael Jackson and Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher will buy homes on Staten Island, and Dan Quayle will begin his campaign for the presidency in ’92.
Some of the predictions for next year:
* Walter Cronkite will host a TV game show based on current headlines with Vanna White.
* “Inspired by his close friendship with Jane Fonda,” Ted Turner will launch a 24-hour, all-exercise cable TV network.
* Donald Trump will franchise a pizza chain called “The Don.”
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