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Sure, It Was Quite a Game

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“Well, that’s more like it!”

--Clancy the Optimist, as Irish went ahead.

“Can we have a tune?”

--Carmody the Paper-Hanger.

“ ‘Peg O’My Heart” would be nice.”

--Kelleher the Sentimentalist.

“John MacCormack could sing like a bird.”

--Fagan the Publican.

“A thrush.”

--Killian the Poet.

“He was never any good at the folk tunes. He sang best in Eye-talian. He knew every opera by heart.”

--Hogan the Art Critic.

“He could sing Eye-talian like a gondola driver.”

--Morgan the Head Waiter.

“Like a thrush.”

--Killian the Poet.

“We didn’t even need the Gipper.”

--McGonigle, Himself, the Lord Mayor.

“He was ready if we needed him.”

--Corrigan the Moderate Drinker.

“We needed him last week.’

--Finnegan the Hair-Cutter.

“This is the game we had to win. It’s always hardest to beat these heathens. What is it they call themselves--the Pagans?”

--McClanahan,the Room Clerk.

“The Trojans. They call themselves the Trojans.”

--Houlihan the Tinsmith.

“What’s a Trojan?”

--O’Doul the Street Sweeper.

“It’s some kind of infidel in a hat with a brush in it. They went to war on wooden horses.”

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--Tumulty the Historian.

“ ‘Tis what gave us the idea for the merry-go-round.”

--Kerrigan the Expert On Everything.

“Did anybody think to bring a bottle?”

--O’Casey the Cesspool Pumper.

“We’ll drink a toast to that little fellow--what is it they call him? The Missile?”

--Horan the Florist.

“The Rocket. They call him The Rocket.”

--Higgins the Hod Carrier.

“Johnny Rocket, is it? Does he have a name a’tall?”

--Horan the Busybody.

“Ismail. Call him Ismail. Raghib Ismail.”

--Higgins the Hod Carrier.

“Mother of God! Well, ‘tis a grand old Notre Dame name. One of the Four Horsemen was named Ismail now, was he not? Or was it Elmer?”

--Horan the Florist.

“I could do without the field goals.”

--Dunnigan the Part-Time Postman.

“Rockne had no need of field goals.”

--Quinn the Criminal Lawyer.

“They didn’t have field goals in Rockne’s day. We’ve gotten soft.”

--Conway the Petty Thief.

“Didn’t we used to win this thing 51-0 and 38-7?”

--Cobbler O’Finn the Peat Cutter.

“The fumbles killed us.”

--O’Brien the Four Flusher.

“Gipp never fumbled.”

--Kinsella the Chronic Liar.

“When we had the ball on the two-yard-line first and goal, shouldn’t we have scored?”

--Costello the Truth Seeker.

“The Four Horsemen would have scored. All four of them.”

--Pilney the Historian.

“It was part of the coach’s strategy. Sometimes you don’t want to score too early.”

--Dancey the Long Range Strategist.

“There were four minutes and three seconds to go.”

--Curley the Unconvinced.

“I once saw Lujack himself slip on the two-yard-line.”

--Hanrahan the True Believer.

“Gipp never slipped.”

--Kinsella the Chronic Liar.

“Gipp went to Mass every morning.”

--Kelly the Echo.

“Does this coach have a clue?”

--Linehan the Latin Scholar.

“Well, he’s no Rockne, now, is he?”

--Clubber Carnahan the White Hope.

“Rockne never won a game, 10-6. Rockne won here 27-0 the last game he coached.”

--Fiddler Faraday the Day Bartender.

“What’s this coach’s name again--Hootch?”

--Clubber Carnahan Again.

“It’s Holtz. Lou Holtz or some such.”

--Paddy McNMulty from Roscommon.

“What kind of a a name is that for a coach? It’s a name for a comedian.”

--Tierney the Taxi driver.

“There are those who say he’s really Woody Allen. He walks the sideline like a guy looking for a collar button.”

--Liam O’Faolain,

No Relation To the Playwright.

“He has no interest in the game.”

--Kerrigan the Authority On Everything.

“Rockne never took his eyes off the game.”

--Kelly the Echo.

“Can we have some sense of order here? Who won the game now, after all?”

--Patrick the Prgmatist.

“Rockne used to throw games like these back. Rockne would be ashamed to win only 10-6. Against these heathens.’

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--Cobbler O’Finn Himself.

“Rockne never beat anybody 10-6. He’d rather lose.”

--Kelly the Echo.

“Can’t we have a pint and leave off the philosophizing. Someone’s always throwing overalls in the chowder. Are we going to the Orange Bowl or aren’t we?”

--Patrick the Pragmatist.

“Rockne would never go to the Orange bowl.”

--Kelly the Echo.

“The ex-President ran the coin flip.”

--Hannegan the Pundit.

“The President of what?

--Cobbler O’Finn.

“Of the United States, you great dimwit!”

--Hannegan the Pundit.

“He played Gipp in the fillums. We made him.”

--Kelly the Echo.

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