Dear Abby: Taking Sports Too Seriously Strains Family Ties

The one-and-only Dear Abby took time out from disgruntled wives and lonely widowers last month to settle a dispute involving a parent-coach of an Orange County athlete. Never an easy task.

This excerpt from her Jan. 7 column:

“DEAR ABBY: Our 8-year-old son is scheduled to be the ring bearer in my brother’s wedding. My husband is the coach of our son’s soccer team, and it turns out that the championship playoff game is the same day and time as the wedding.

“I say my husband can miss the wedding to coach the team, but our son absolutely must be the ring bearer in the wedding. My husband says, ‘No, our son’s commitment is to his team in the championship game.’ Neither one of us will budge from our position. Please help!”

--STUCK IN IRVINE, CALIF.

Abby responds:

“DEAR STUCK: I think your son should fulfill his commitment to be the ring bearer at your brother’s wedding. There will be other soccer games, but your brother (let’s hope) will have only one formal church wedding.

“Since your husband is the coach of the soccer team, I can understand why he places so much importance on the game, but I think he, too, should attend your brother’s wedding, which will be remembered long after the soccer game has been forgotten.”

Touche , Abby. We hope Soccer Dad took your advice--and framed it. It may be the best move he makes for his son and himself.

Speaking of Orange County fathers and sons, here’s a letter we’d like to see:

DEAR ABBY: I’ve dedicated 21 years of my life to helping my son become the world’s greatest quarterback. He was doing great. A national passing record in high school, two Sports Illustrated covers, honorable mention All-American, a congratulatory telephone call from Ronald Reagan.

But now? He gets in trouble with the law right before announcing he’s going pro. That’ll cost us at least $1 million in his contract! Whadda I do?

--MAHVALOUS MARV

DEAR MARV: I only hope you’re kidding. When was the last time you took your son out for a hot fudge sundae? Didn’t you ever watch Father Knows Best? Marv, you need another hobby. Or a puppy.

Add Marinovich: He became a legend at Capistrano Valley High, setting a national career passing record. But with his ongoing troubles at USC and recent arrest for possession of cocaine and marijuana, Todd Marinovich has been both severely criticized and heartily supported around the Mission Viejo area.

“I feel bad for him,” said Cougar receiver Dave Poltl, who as a freshman often played catch with Marinovich. “The first year he was at USC everyone (the public) loved him, and then after a year suddenly everyone hates him.”

Capistrano Valley Coach Eric Patton said the Cougar coaching staff wrote a letter of support to Marinovich last week. “We’re still real proud of him,” Patton said.

Dick Enright, former head coach, said he plans to meet with Marinovich next week.

“We all can make mistakes that can ruin our lives,” Enright said. “He deserves another chance, and he’ll get one. . . . Todd loves the pressure of a football game. It’s the pressure of life he hasn’t learned to deal with. . . . We want him to know we have faith in him.”

It’s a Family Affair: Loara’s Tes Whitlock, who scored 58 points against Katella Friday night, was asked if he could remember who was guarding him.

“Everyone and their parents,” he said.

Beau LeBreton knows the temptation of steroids.

The senior from Mission Viejo High said he considered using anabolic steroids as a sophomore in order to help him beef up to varsity proportions.

“When I was coming up on varsity, I was thinking I wanted that edge to be the best,” said LeBreton, a defensive end. “Especially when you’re younger, I looked up to those boys, the guys on varsity, the guys under the lights. They’re everything. You idolize them. You want to be what they are. That’s why I was considering it.”

Last week, the Saddleback Valley Unified School District set a policy to include steroids in its illegal drug list. Students found to possess or use drugs on campus will be expelled, school board president Kent Hahn said.

“This is a preventative measure,” Hahn said. “We’re trying to give the kids more than one way to say no.”

Many of the county’s school districts say while they have no specific steroid policy, the drug falls under the illegal drug list adopted by the state board of education several years ago. But like Saddleback Valley, Tustin Unified School District recently decided to add steroids to its list.

LeBreton says he supports strict anti-steroid measures because the temptation to use the drugs is ever-present.

“I thought about it, but decided it wasn’t worth it to me,” LeBreton said. “It’s something every player considers, I think.

“I can’t say there’s been a lot of hype against it (at Mission Viejo). The coaches never really said, ‘Stay away.’ But there are posters in the weight room that say ‘Don’t Pump Trouble.” It lists all the things that steroids can do to you, like shrunken testicles and bad breath. When you read that, it makes you think twice.”