Valentine Food Fantasies : What is the food of romance? : In the Mood for . . .

Romance is coming back, they say, and probably none too soon. Everybody agrees the last couple of decades have been pretty crude, romance-wise. But there’s hope. As our survey shows, a lot of people--even celebrities--still like their romance the old-fashioned way.

Namely, with dinner.

JUDITH KRANTZ, author. Her latest is “Dazzle”:

“That’s easy. I could be seduced by any kind of smoked fish, starting with some very juicy sturgeon. In the shape of a heart, of course. Next, the center cut of a whitefish . . . in the shape of a heart. Then some smoked Norwegian salmon. And for dessert, I would like, on a cool white plate, a mound of the best Beluga . . . in the shape of a heart. And a mother of pearl spoon to eat it. There should also be toast points, slightly toasted bagels and fresh rye bread. Oh, and I’d be drinking pink seltzer instead of champagne, because it’s so much more ethnic.

“I love smoked fish. So for me, Valentine’s Day is a day of water retention.”

MORGAN FAIRCHILD, actress. Just finished starring role in TV miniseries, “Sherlock Holmes and the Leading Lady,” with Patrick MacNee, and a self-help video on stress management:

“Tex-Mex. It’s more gooey than regular Mexican food. It’s so messy that you can’t have any pretensions while you’re eating it. I love enchiladas and chiles rellenos and quesadillas. I can’t eat them all at once, though. I’m too little. If not that, it’d be the eggs with caviar at L’Orangerie. The best appetizer in town.”

JOY PICUS, City Councilwoman:

“Because most women, including me, are working full time and still carrying the burden of the evening meal, I could be seduced by having a fully cooked dinner on the table when I get home at night. I don’t care what it is as long as I don’t have to plan it, buy it or cook it.”

PIPER LAURIE, just won Golden Globe award for best supporting actress on ABC-TV’s “Twin Peaks”:

“To start, a plain mixed green salad with mainly endive and arugula. Then really good quenelles with fresh asparagus, served plain. For dessert, a trifle followed by a wonderful cup of freshly ground French roast decaf.”

CYBILL SHEPHERD, film/TV actress. Her most recent projects were the films “Texasville” and “Alice” and a cable movie for TNT, “Which Way Home”:

“Two dozen oysters, from the Northeast with Tabasco and lemon, followed by three ounces of sevruga caviar from Petrossian, accompanied Cristall vodka.”

VINCENT PRICE, the most venerable of horror stars, last seen in “Edward Scissorhands”:

“One can dream . . . it would have to be a hot day, not on the beach--in a beautiful pasture, preferably in Europe. A wonderful cold soup, a sort of vichyssoise, a marvelous bread and a marvelous cheese. No dessert, but a wine, a new Beaujolais.”

JOHN WATERS, filmmaker, “Hairspray,” “Crybaby.” He’s living in Baltimore and working on a new script:

“Liver. Because it’s like porno. But if you’re talking about a romantic dinner, just a plain watercress salad.”

GEORGE PEPPARD, veteran actor. Most recently noted for his TV series “The A Team” and Christmas release of a TV movie, “Five Days From Home”:

“I assume this is a successful seduction . . . Before the seduction, fresh beluga caviar with chopped onion and chopped egg whites and yolk on fresh white toasted bakery bread. After the seduction, a Caesar salad and cold lobster tail with cocktail sauce. For dessert, small cherry tarts served with hot black coffee.”

CARROLL O’CONNOR, stars as Chief Bill Gillespie in the TV show, “in the heat of the night.” He also owns the Beverly Hills restaurant, Carroll O’Connor’s Place:

“To start, I would have Belgian endive and shrimp salad with a Dijon mustard dressing, followed by grilled American lamb chops au jus with fresh rosemary, Norwegian salmon stuffed with seafood in a puff pastry with red pepper sauce. Dessert would be tarte tatin and a cappuccino. I would choose a Meursault for the wine and a bottle of Charles Heidsieck Champagne to finish off the meal.”

DR. RUTH WESTHEIMER, sex therapist:

“Oh well, first of all in addition to the meal, for me, I would have to have some candlelight, and some Champagne and a good conversation. The meal alone would not be it, and there would have to be some content to the conversation. He would prepare the meal for me. The meal, maybe could be chicken soup with a few small matzo balls and let me see . . . then I would say some beautiful Mozart music and maybe a veal dish. It shouldn’t be such a heavy meal. With the veal I would like red cabbage, like hot red cabbage, and some mashed potatoes and gravy. I do love chestnuts so let’s have the chestnuts for dessert with real whipped cream--not any of that fake stuff. But the main thing it has to have is fascinating, interesting conversation. Oh, and the table should be set nicely, not with paper napkins, but cloth--it shows that he really did prepare the meal, that he didn’t just go to a fast food restaurant and pick up food.”

LYNDA BARRY, cartoonist and fiction writer:

“I know: one of those big giant cakes that turns around and around in those glass display cases that they have at delis. This is not a hypothetical situation. It actually happened to me. On my 31st birthday, I got one of those cakes. Really big. Super tall. White frosting.

“Who bought the cake for me? I did. It was in my lonely hour. Who seduced me? The cake. It spoke to me. I was sort of in the early stages of therapy, the time when you’re still thinking it’s a good idea to fulfill the wishes of your inner child.

“See, what I’ve always wanted to do is lie down on one of those cakes. I put it in the bathtub, so I could clean up pretty easily. The cake had nuts on top, which was a big mistake. Still, it was pretty satisfying.”

RICHARD TYSON, pony-tailed bad guy in the film “Kindergarten Cop”:

“Grits and eggs . . . Jell-O. No, actually, if someone were trying to seduce me it would be something raw like steak tartare. And maybe a small tumbler of ice with a little water and a drop or two of Wild Turkey. Dessert? Hopefully, she would be the dessert.”

EVE BABITZ, author of “Eve’s Hollywood,” “Slow Days, Fast Company” and the forthcoming “Cheap Thrills, Expensive Regrets”:

“I love Valentine’s Day, but nobody’s ever given me anything for it, not even a lousy box of candy. I had to trick my boyfriend into taking me out on Valentine’s last year. He didn’t know what day it was. This year I’ve got him trained, though.

“I know where I’d want to go: Mario’s Cooking for Friends. The chef is insane, he’s incredible. The whole place smells like garlic, and he puts Grana Padano Parmesan on the eggplant.

“What I’d want is the crema caramello. It’s the best thing in the world, he pours thick caramel all over it. It’s death by crema caramello. “ (See recipe below.)

JAYNE MEADOWS, appears with Steve Allen Friday in the play, “Love Letters” at the Canon Theater in Beverly Hills:

“I would start with vichyssoise --I love the one served in a little French restaurant on West 55th Street in New York; I jump from the plane to get there. Then an all-green salad with a light balsamic vinaigrette. For the entree I love osso bucco, but with my diet, I would be happy with a broiled half chicken seasoned with lemon juice and not much butter. I would have this with little French nouvelle vegetables and boiled new potatoes. Dessert could be hot chocolate souffle or meringue with fresh fruits and chocolate sauce over a good vanilla ice cream.”

On seducing STEVE ALLEN: “I know he would go for fish, he eats lots of fish. A big piece of salmon, or grilled tuna, rainbow trout or flounder. He also likes pork chops served with brown gravy, fried onions and applesauce. In fact at Madeo they serve pork chop Steve Allen, along with Chicken Jayne Meadows.”

ALICE MEDRICH, author of “Cocolat--Extraordinary Chocolate Desserts” and owner of Cocolat, a chocolate store in Berkeley:

“I would like a weekend alone with my husband--anywhere, but Paris wouldn’t be bad. And for dinner I’d want a small amount of fresh foie gras accompanied by a glass of Chateau d’Yquem as a starter. The entree: pigeon with honey and Asian spices as prepared at Olympe in Paris. And for dessert, tart fruit sorbets accompanied by something small made of bittersweet chocolate.”

DR. PAUL SALTMAN, professor of biology at UC San Diego:

“There are no true aphrodisiacs but there are foods that create passion. The meal most likely to get me in the mood for love: a hamburger, French fries and a chocolate malt. That’s what I had back in the days when seduction meant necking on Mulholland Drive after a high school basketball game.”

Contributors: Kathie Jenkins, Charles Perry, Joan Drake, Toni Tipton, Minnie Bernardino.