Fingered: Vice President Dan Quayle knows invisible...

Fingered: Vice President Dan Quayle knows invisible ink. As he walked Monday through a crowd on the White House lawn giving autographs, someone handed Quayle a piece of paper, and without a pen or pencil, the vice president made the motions of a signature and handed the blank paper back, moving on. A D.C. newsman joked that Quayle “must have been using one of those new stealth pens the Pentagon is working on.”

Homecoming: Thousands of U.S. and allied troops from the Mideast, Vietnam, Korean and other wars will be showered with confetti in what Mayor David Dinkins said will be “New York’s and perhaps the world’s largest ticker-tape parade.” George Bush has also been invited to take part in “Operation Welcome Home” June 10.

Crime and . . . : “American Psycho,” Bret Easton Ellis’ shocker novel about a yuppie serial killer, may come to the screen. “We’re talking to a variety of people about motion picture rights,” said Ellis agent Amanda Urban Wednesday. “I think there’ll be some come kind of deal, yeah.” Vintage Books rushed the tale to print after Simon & Schuster backed away, apparently because of the book’s mayhem and torture, much of it against women.

. . . Punishment: Men should have to pay a “sexual abuse” tax to help women and children who become victims, a German politician said Wednesday. Baerbel Tewes, a Socialist member of a state parliament who wanted the money to fund homes for women and children and self-help groups, said the tax should be levied “to repair the lifelong damage inflicted by men.”