This Sounds Like a Case for the ‘People’s Court’

It isn’t easy fighting for principle in a world striving for efficiency.

Take the case of Eugene Nooner, 60, a retired mechanic living in Lakeside.

It started when he decided to buy a license for his puppy, Lady. He had his wife, Janet, write a $26 check to the county Department of Animal Control for a two-year license.

But back came a one-year license and note saying the department had cashed the check for only $16. A puppy can only have a one-year license until it has a rabies’ booster shot.

OK, said Nooner, but how can the county change my check and cash it for a different amount? Isn’t a man’s check his castle?

“I think this is illegal as hell,” Nooner fumed. “I want to see the law that says they can change my check.”

He angrily pulled his account from the Bank of America. A spokesman protests that the bank does not knowingly cash checks for less than the full amount.

Still, to speed processing, the bank allows big customers like the county to “encode” checks in the corner. Nooner’s was encoded for $16.

Animal Control said cashing the check for a lesser amount was cheaper for the county than returning it and asking for a new check. Yes, but what gives you the right? Nooner demanded.

He’s gone to the county counsel, the auditor-controller and the chief administrative officer.

None has pointed to a specific law authorizing what has been common practice for a decade in cases of overpayment. Supervisor George Bailey is investigating.

Nooner talked to treasurer-tax collector Paul Boland, whose office handles checks.

Nooner calls Boland “that lying S.O.B.” for insisting the county has done nothing wrong. Boland responds, “I am not a lying S.O.B.”

Boland says Nooner, as a taxpayer, should be happy that the county is trying to be cost-efficient: “He just doesn’t want to be happy.”

Nooner responds: “What I want is for my checks not to be changed.”

Let’s Do Brunch

News and views.

* News you can eat.

Scheduled Sunday at the San Diego Convention Center: The World’s Largest Brunch, 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., with pig-out portions of Italian, Japanese, Greek, Mexican, Thai and Chinese cuisine.

No, it is not just another family gathering for general manager Tom Liegler, whose freebie use of the center is under fire.

It’s a fund-raiser for the homeless sponsored by local chefs, $35 a ticket.

* Stuart Furman and Jayne Evans will be married Saturday night in the shoe department at Nordstrom’s in Horton Plaza. He’s a San Diego attorney; she’s a shopper.

No, if the marriage doesn’t work out, the unhappy partner can’t just take the unsatisfactory spouse to the return counter.

* Cleophus Prince, accused of murdering five San Diego women, was injured slightly while playing basketball with fellow jail inmates in Birmingham, Ala.

While fighting extradition, he’s pumping iron and shooting hoops.

* When Norma Angelica Chavez, 17, of Chula Vista was selected for the prestigious Congressional Youth Leadership Council in Washington, she was afraid lack of money would keep her home.

That’s before the La Raza Lawyers Assn. ($450) and Latino Police Officers Assn. ($300) stepped forward. Chavez will be attending when the council convenes at Georgetown University for a week in July.

Gallows Humor

Rules for living.

Barbara Whitman of The Publicity Co. in San Diego forwards “Murphy’s Laws of Combat,” copies of which were circulating sub rosa among the troops on Navy ships in the Persian Gulf.

Among the stay-alive dictums:

* Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

* Never forget your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

* If your attack is going really well, it’s an ambush.

* Incoming fire has the right of way.

* The easy way is always mined.

* The side with the simplest uniforms wins.