Put Your Money on Two of a Kind

Now that the NFL draft is behind them, the two Rocket men, Bruce McNall and Al Davis, can forget about Raghib Ismail and go about their business. The owner of the Kings, for example, can devote his complete attention to the Edmonton hockey team--the dirtiest Oilers since the Exxon Valdez.

But has it ever been more apparent how much McNall and Davis are alike?

They both wear the same colors--black, white and silver, same as their teams. Nobody has ever mistaken the tastes of the two Los Angeles sports moguls for art deco, and if either Davis or McNall has ever been sighted in a yellow necktie or seersucker suit or pink V-neck pullover knotted around the neck, it remains unreported.

They also both know how to spend money--quickly, freely and adventurously. When McNall and Davis want something, or someone, they reach for their checkbooks. They are like a couple of Leona Helmsleys. McNall and Davis must be the two biggest spenders in the state of California who aren’t Japanese.

Furthermore, they both know what it feels like to lose valuable property. Davis’ football team was doing just fine until it suddenly had to do without Bo Jackson, who somehow got broken. McNall’s hockey team was doing just fine, too, but now it has to do without Tomas Sandstrom, who got spilled by those slimy Oilers.

And they both own professional football teams, now that McNall is part-honcho of the Toronto franchise in the Canadian (We Always Get Our Man) Football League.

No wonder when the auction for Rocket Ismail’s services was over, McNall and Davis were the entrepreneurs with a claim to him.

A toast to two of the bravest guys in sports. May they live long and prosper.

Leave it to Bruce McNall to sell a Notre Dame football player on the notion that he would have more fun playing in another country in a league that uses a different-sized field for a team that will never appear in a Super Bowl and may not even appear on TV. That McNall, he could sell mink stoles in Hawaii.

And leave it to Al Davis to use his only three picks on the first day of the NFL draft on a quarterback (when the Raiders already have Jay Schroeder and Steve Beuerlein) and a running back (when they already have Marcus Allen, Roger Craig, Greg Bell, Steve Smith, Vance Mueller and maybe even Bo Jackson) and a wide receiver who first must serve a four-year hitch in Canada.

Don’t you love it?

Well, maybe you don’t. Maybe you think McNall and Davis don’t have all the dots on their dice, if you get my drift. Maybe you think that McNall wasted too much money on Ismail, or that Davis wasted too many valuable draft choices on Todd Marinovich and Nick Bell and Rocket the Argonaut.

If you do, here’s a rebuttal:

--With one shrewd investment, Bruce McNall has just enhanced the value of not only his entire team, but his entire league. No TV contract? Hey, this is how you get a TV contract. You don’t think the Canadian networks will come around now? You don’t think CBS or NBC or ABC will offer money to show two or three Canadian games featuring Ismail after boring Americans into a stupor with Barcelona vs. Frankfurt?

--With one shrewd investment, Al Davis has pulled another Bo Jackson out of his hat, showing Ismail his sincerity by not making him a late-round novelty pick, giving Ismail time to develop his skills in Canada just as Warren Moon and Mervyn Fernandez did, and guaranteeing Ismail’s presence with the Raiders in case the entire CFL goes down the commode, which was a possibility as recently as a year or two back.

--Also, two personal observations. One, people are going to regret everything they have said about Marinovich. He will make a superb NFL quarterback, one who might even play next season, should Schroeder be injured or start slowly. Two, Iowa’s Bell was one of the biggest, fastest, toughest backs in college football. In the second round, Bell was a steal. Trust us on this.

Now, back to McNall for a minute.

We have no idea how Rocket Ismail will do in the Canadian Football League, mainly because we have no idea who else plays in the Canadian Football League. Frankly, I couldn’t tell you if they give six points for a touchdown up there. I hear they move the ball along the ice with brooms.

But I’ll say this for Bruce McNall. The man owns a hockey team in Southern California and a pro football team in Ontario. If he’s trying to be unique, he is succeeding.

Now, if only he can do something about those Oilers. They’ve got this one guy, Craig Muni (as in goony), who single-handedly mugged Sandstrom and Bob Kudelski right out of the playoffs. And they have this other guy, Mark Messier, who slashed Steve Duchesne’s legs when he wasn’t looking like Abe Lincoln splitting a log.

I think Bruce McNall should ask Al Davis to send a couple of his boys up there to deal with those punks.