TV REVIEW : . . . But Nothing Much Goes On in These Folks’ Dull Lives

Most soap operas involve mating, of course, but here’s the first one in which all the characters call each other mate : “Neighbours” (Monday through Friday at 5:30 p.m. on Channel 13) is a phenomenally popular Australian serial that’s also proven to be a blockbuster in England, being imported to these shores beginning today. Yes, it’s “G’Days of Our Lives.”

But it’s not very g’d . Compared to American soaps, “Neighbours” does have a refreshing lack of cynicism and makes more of an attempt to connect with everyday situations, with nary an adulterous affair, menage a trois or evil twin in sight (at least in the first week’s worth of episodes made available for preview). But the series is also so fatally benign that it’s difficult to imagine anyone other than a terribly lonely Australian expatriate tuning in on a regular basis.

The early episodes set up relationships between residents of three houses in a single suburban cul de sac: Jim Robinson (Alan Dale) is a kindly widower who lives with his kindly mother-in-law and four kids, three of whom are also kindly. Max Ramsay (Francis Bell) is a cantankerous but apparently harmless neighbor. Des Clarke (Paul Keane) is a likable young lug whose engagement has just been broken off, and who pays the mortgage by having the stripper (Elaine Smith) from his bachelor party move in.

The usual soapy hot sex does not seem to be in the offing. Not much of interest seems to be in the offing, in fact--though we can assume that the plot must thicken as it goes along, based on the fact that the series has run six years and 1,450 episodes so far abroad, counting Princess Di and Queen Elizabeth among its fanatical devotees.

Admirable niceness aside, can jaded Americans be expected to sit still for this uninvolving trifle? It’s enough to make even a daytime-TV detractor lust after U.S.-style shameless, sordid melodrama.