Relive Operation Desert Storm During the Fourth of July

TV or not TV. . . .

FIREWORKS: As you might expect, TV’s upcoming Fourth of July weekend will bring us the story of Operation Desert Storm all over again.

The Arts & Entertainment cable channel is planning a weeklong reprise of America’s victory in the Gulf War, leading up to five consecutive hours of Desert Storm programs July 4.

Under the heading of “Desert Storm Week,” A&E; will present one-hour broadcasts at 11 p.m. each day from June 30 through July 3, focusing on the air and ground assaults, strategy and tactics.

And then, on July 4, the channel will offer, from 11:30 a.m. through 4:30 p.m., reruns of the programs of the four previous nights, plus an hour biography of Gen. H. Norman Schwarzkopf, commander of Operation Desert Storm.

On quite a different note, KCOP Channel 13 will mark July 4 by doing what brought it acclaim last year--presenting 22 hours of commercial-free, outstanding films as Independence Day begins at midnight.

This year’s KCOP films include Gloria Swanson in “Sunset Boulevard,” James Dean in “Rebel Without a Cause,” Burt Lancaster in “The Rainmaker” and Henry Fonda and Jack Lemmon in the World War II comedy-drama “Mister Roberts.”

Speaking of matters patriotic, Roseanne Barr’s “Roseanne” series apparently has fully recovered from its ratings fall-off after her controversial, screeching rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” at a San Diego Padres baseball game last year. “Roseanne” was the No. 1 show in last week’s program rankings.

Patriotism clearly has no bounds on television. One of our readers wrote in astonishment that, in the wake of the Gulf War, he recently saw a commercial on KDOC Channel 56 that asked $14.95 for genuine Saudi Arabian sand. A KDOC spokeswoman acknowledged the ad.

“What would you do with Saudi Arabian sand?” wrote our logical reader. “Keep it on your coffee table? Put it on your mantelpiece? For $14.95, you sure can’t let the cat get at it.”

Our spies are everywhere.

AFTERMATH: Johnny Carson seems looser and happier on the “Tonight Show” ever since his recent announcement that he will retire as host May 22.

Looking relieved after finally making a tough decision, he’s been in brilliant form. Or did you miss his crack to longtime sidekick Ed McMahon, who is leaving the show with him?

“I don’t know if you read the fine print of your contract,” said Carson, “but when I die, you’re also going with me.”

Sidekicks on the “Tonight Show” have become famous in their own right--McMahon, of course, and Hugh Downs before him when Jack Paar was the host. But do you remember who was Steve Allen’s announcer when he was the first host of the “Tonight” show?

Answer: Gene Rayburn, who later scored great popular success as host of the quiz show “The Match Game.”

Back in TV’s late-night arena, meanwhile, David Letterman was also in great form last week even after NBC announced officially that Jay Leno would be Carson’s “Tonight Show” heir.

With sailors in the audience, Letterman introduced his “stupid pet tricks” segment by observing with a grin: “This is the kind of entertainment that sailors on leave crave.”

And then, in an astonishing bit of luck, one of the pets, a dog, turned out to be a sensational act by twice bouncing a basketball off its head into a basket above. It was the kind of footage that TV sportscasters kill for.

Still, NBC’s decision on the future of the “Tonight Show” did not escape the barbs of Letterman, who was a contender for Carson’s job.

After forgetting to mention an upcoming act on the show, Letterman cracked: “That’s why we don’t get 11:30 (the starting time for “Tonight”).”

And noting that NBC was selling reruns of his series to Arts & Entertainment cable for next season, Letterman said: “I wonder if they’d like us to go over there and do it live?”

However things turn out, future TV historians will look back and realize there’s never been a network program tandem to match the decade of Carson and Letterman back-to-back.

ZIP CODE: Aaron Spelling buzzed us to say that his drama series, “Beverly Hills, 90210,” which is picking up ratings and admirers, received a 30-episode order from Fox for next season. No wonder, considering that it’s held its own against “Cheers.”

MUTUAL ADMIRERS: ABC’s first “Columbo” next season reunites Peter Falk, who won four Emmys in the role, with Patrick McGoohan, who earned two Emmys as a guest star. McGoohan, a cult favorite for his Orwellian series “The Prisoner,” not only directs the upcoming “Columbo” episode but is also executive producer with Falk. Footnote: “Columbo” turns 20 Sept. 15.

JUDGMENT DAY: ABC killed the Vietnam series “China Beach” by bumping it around. But “China Beach” director Robert Ginty has won a Houston Film Festival award for a terrific, double-pronged episode this season--one part focusing on a remote village, the other on a black, female Vietnam veteran who returns to America and gets involved with revolutionary activists. Catch “China Beach” tonight at 10 as ABC runs out its remaining episodes.

PISTOL PETE: We never thought that “Mr. Pete” (Peter Chaconas), the waiter-turned-comedian on public-access TV, would actually accept that Emmy for his talk show on KTLA Channel 5 just because it means money, power and women. But we forgive him, and we sure hope our TV is working June 28 when he returns to KTLA, which says he “has been granted an additional 13-week commitment to prove his critics wrong.”

ON HOLD: CBS says Carrie Fisher’s sitcom starring her mother, Debbie Reynolds, is still in the works even though it didn’t make the fall lineup. It’s about time someone found a first-rate TV project for Reynolds, one of the great, underrated stars in Hollywood history.

BEING THERE: “I am not going to be pushed, filed, indexed, stamped, briefed, debriefed or numbered. My life is my own.”--Number 6 (Patrick McGoohan) in “The Prisoner.”

Say good night, Gracie. . . .