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“Curb-running,” a revolutionary East German training technique...

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“Curb-running,” a revolutionary East German training technique discussed in the May issue of Triathlete magazine, sounded like another dividend of glasnost.

Columnist Rick O’Bryan explained that it involved running with one foot on the curb and one on the street.

Alas, the Santa Monica-based magazine apologizes in its July issue that the item was a hoax that fooled Triathlete’s editors and “a lot of readers.”

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Of course, columnar high jinks are nothing new--H.L. Mencken wrote a classic fake on the invention of the bathtub. O’Bryan’s intention was merely “to make readers question their eagerness to try any new training method . . . no matter how far-fetched.” The editors admitted that O’Bryan left “clues that should have raised our critical eyebrows,” including the name given to the curb-running guru: “Jurgena Hirt.”

As in YER-gonna Hurt.

And, to tell the truth, our hamstrings are killing us.

Let’s limp on to pentathlons, academic or otherwise. The medal in the photo was created for seventh- and eighth-grade scholars in the L.A. Unified School District, leading us to wonder whether the manufacturer should take a summer school course in spelling.

List of the Day:

An early 20th-Century code of conduct at L.A.’s all-girl Marlborough School, reprinted in a recent issue of the magazine, The Californians:

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1--”Don’t talk about yourself or your family affairs. It is a sign of verdancy.”

2--”Don’t be inquisitive with either tongue or fingers. Curiosity is wholly vulgar and common.”

3--”Don’t take soup noisily.”

4--”And don’t, even once, allow yourself to put celery, Saratoga potatoes, toast, biscuit, or any other crisp eatable into your mouth without closing your lips upon it before you bite it and your teeth upon it before you chew it.”

Some UCLA fans complain that their football team receives less coverage than bitter cross-town rival USC. (Could it have something to do with all those national titles USC has won?)

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Whatever, Bruin weather fans have no complaint--not since The Times started issuing meteorological reports on UCLA (see photo).

Our weather expert explains that the Westwood reporting station was dismantled, so this newspaper now uses UCLA’s facilities.

In the interests of balanced reporting, we visited USC on Monday. While it was 66 at UCLA that day, we estimated it was 68 on the Trojans’ campus.

Another instance of USC topping UCLA.

We’re afraid it’s too late, Nick:

RTD Board President Nikolas Patsaouras has called a news conference for today to discuss a new policy of having buses carry such public relations messages as “Go Lakers.”

Perhaps “Don’t take soup noisily” would be safer.

miscelLAny:

The HOLLYWOOD sign, with its 45-foot-tall letters, weighs 480,000 pounds (more when jokesters alter it).

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