Non-Traditional Churches Welcoming Gays to Flock : Religion: They offer haven to those unwilling to hear their lifestyles condemned from the pulpit.

COSTA MESA —  Marsha Stevens was 16 when she first found Jesus through the teachings of an energetic young pastor named Chuck Smith.

For Stevens, a teen-ager seeking refuge from a troubled home life, Smith would become a father figure, her fellow worshipers at Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa her brothers and sisters. Over the next 12 years, the church would play an integral part in the major events of her life: her marriage, the baptisms of her son and daughter.

“I used to call Pastor Chuck Smith ‘Papa,’ ” said Stevens, 39, a surgical nurse from Costa Mesa. “He was the one I went to to find out how to get a driver’s license. All of the things that a teen-ager goes to their parents for, I went to him for.”

But all that changed, Stevens said, when she divorced her husband in 1979 and later became involved in a relationship with Leona Estabrooks, another woman who attended the church.

Suddenly, she said, people she had known for years shunned her. Others told her to remove a “Jesus is Lord” sign from her front door, saying that her new lifestyle was a mockery of Jesus’ name. And when Estabrooks’ 14-year-old daughter died of a viral infection, Stevens said, some church members called it a punishment from God.

“For a lot of years it bothered me,” said Stevens, who is also a contemporary gospel singer and composer. “But as you begin to live life you see that God continues to bless you and bring joy into your household.”

Christians like Stevens who refuse to accept traditional scriptural interpretations of the Bible condemning their homosexuality are at the center of one of the most heated topics of religious debate.

Earlier this month, a national convention of Presbyterian leaders overwhelmingly rejected a controversial church report that would have condoned homosexuality, bisexuality and premarital sex as long as the participants were consenting adults. In another closely watched case, Washington’s Episcopal bishop ordained a lesbian as a priest--a move that angered conservative Episcopalians.

In Orange County, where Rep. William E. Dannemeyer (R-Fullerton) has become nationally known for his antagonistic public statements about homosexuals, Stevens’ story is a familiar one. But now, many gays are fighting back--their faith in God unshaken by the traditional belief of most mainline Christian denominations that homosexuality is a sin that must be repented if one is to achieve salvation.

Unwilling to sit through condemnations of their homosexuality from the pulpit, some gays are turning to nontraditional churches such as the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Christian Churches. MCC, a 32,000-member worldwide movement that holds a minority view that the Bible does not condemn homosexuality as a sin, has three member churches in the county, in Costa Mesa, Santa Ana and Anaheim, with about 200 members among them.

“It is inconceivable to me that God would create someone like me who is unable to change, then condemn that person to hell,” said the Rev. Jane Carl, co-pastor at Ocean of Life Church, an MCC church in Costa Mesa where most of the 60 members are gay. “I can’t tell you how many people I have counseled who have been turned away from the Christian church. Why people would have to go into therapy to believe that God loves them is sick.”

Yet, religious rejection is a traumatic experience shared by many gay Christians, said Dr. Randy Farrell, a psychologist in charge of counseling at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Orange County.

“It’s kind of sad really because a lot of gays and lesbians cannot be religious but have had to find their spirituality on their own,” Farrell said. “Some have turned to the Church of Religious Science, others to MCC.

“Most people just go to mainline churches and keep their mouth shut,” he said. “But when the church in which they were raised preaches that (gays) are not good enough to be openly who they are, that causes a lot of stress and guilt.”

Ron Jesser, a pastor at Christ Chapel, the 100-member MCC church in Santa Ana, said attendance there has increased 30% since January.

“Because of diseases like AIDS, many people in the gay community are searching for more answers and want a sense of community that maybe they weren’t looking for 15 years ago,” said Jesser, 39, who has AIDS. “Believe me, when you’re lying in a hospital bed with AIDS and you just have a few gasps left, you want to know that you will go to heaven the way you are.”

Some liberal pastors, such as the Rev. Fred Plummer of Irvine United Church of Christ, have steered their congregations toward official acceptance of gays and their lifestyle. However, they are in the minority.

“You’re talking about a whole progression that I believe the mainline churches are being challenged to either be part of or be outside of,” said Plummer, whose congregation numbers 200. “Gays and lesbians are in every church no matter how fundamentalist. The issue is whether or not they are going to be allowed to be open about it.”

But many church leaders oppose efforts to alter traditional religious views on homosexuality.

The Rev. John Huffman, pastor of St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church in Newport Beach, was an outspoken critic of the controversial report on human sexuality that was voted down at the national Presbyterian convention in Baltimore.

“I don’t think anyone can renounce their homosexuality,” Huffman said recently. “ . . . The point we are saying is, we are not changing the teachings of God’s word to try to appeal to a culture that is not prepared to live according to God’s word.”

Stevens’ former pastor, Chuck Smith at Calvary Chapel, agrees: “I think it is a sign of weakness within the church that it is even a topic of debate. It should not even be a question because the Bible is very clear on the subject. The Bible says that God designed marriage between a man and a woman.”

Smith said he told Stevens as much when he learned that she had become involved with another female church member.

“She knew we disapproved and she knows that we continue to disapprove of her lifestyle,” Smith said. “But that is something she has chosen.”

During a recent interview at the Costa Mesa home shared by Stevens and Estabrooks, 46, Stevens recalled the events that led to her wrenching decision to leave behind friends and a younger sister at Smith’s Calvary Chapel.

A large, modern-looking portrait of Jesus hangs above the mantle in the living room. A wall nearby is covered with pictures of Stevens’ and Estabrooks’ children.

Stevens has a daughter and son, 16 and 18, and Estabrooks, who Stevens refers to by the nickname Winky, a 27-year-old son.

“I was there before they even put the walls up,” Stevens said, referring to Calvary Chapel. “My sister and I used to drive down from Claremont at least once a week. The church was the closest thing to family.” For more than a decade, Stevens said, she attended church services regularly. She later married another church member and had a son and daughter. But eight years later, the couple divorced.

Stevens met Estabrooks 12 years ago at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in Costa Mesa. Stevens, who had undergone seven abdominal surgeries, was seeking help for an addiction to prescription drugs. Estabrooks was battling alcoholism.

As the two became closer, the relationship grew intimate, Stevens said. That’s when her troubles with the church began.

“They were horrified,” Stevens said. “Some people came and said, ‘Take that “Jesus is Lord” sign off your door. Our kids aren’t going to play with your kids.’ Or, ‘Don’t pick up your kids from the school because you might molest the other children.’ ”

When Stevens recalls the incidents, her eyes brim with tears.

In 1980, she said, she stopped attending services at Calvary Chapel. For a few years, she and Estabrooks hopped from one church to another--always careful to leave before the other members became suspicious of their relationship. Then, four years ago, they joined MCC Ocean of Life in Costa Mesa, which is pastored by two lesbians.

“At some time in your life, every Christian has to say, ‘I choose to give up this or give up that to do what I think God wants me to do,’ ” Stevens said.

For Stevens, that has meant losing the close relationship that she once shared with her younger sister, who remains active at Calvary Church.

“She won’t go to any family functions that we are at together,” Stevens said. “She feels like if she’s around me when Winky and I are together, she’s sort of lending tacit approval to my relationship.”

Still, Stevens said, she is optimistic about the future.

“I think that the more and more of us that they see leading good wholesome lives, the harder it will be for these churches to keep going on and voting no,” she said.