THE TUBE

Tired of the 9-to-5 grind? Need some paid R&R;? Take heart: You may be disabled and not know it! That’s the message of second-generation legal advertising littering L.A. television airwaves. No longer content to sit back and wait for Angelenos to rear-end one another, today’s aggressive personal-injury lawyers imply that windfalls may be had by blaming ailments on one’s daily environment. “Does your job cause you stomach problems?” poses the Injury Hotline, which will bring suit under workers’ compensation statutes. “If you suffer from headache, back or neck pain, or any kind of pain,” the Injury Center awaits your call. Why, according to the center, being “overworked” is itself a compensable condition.

Just dial the number on your screen--in the case of Georginn & Shann, it’s 1 (800) WHAT NOW--and let your lawyer take it from there. A sympathetic physician will document your pain and suffering and firm up your attorney’s argument for cause-and-effect. Such umbrella coverage, which will even provide auto-repair services, is designed to get viewers to “phone us first,” as are the promises of untold riches. The climax of another spot is a plaintiff exclaiming, “Larry Parker got me $2.1 million!”

Many lawyers are not amused, however. The American Bar Assn. has received recommendations to reconsider the 1986 ruling that allows lawyers to advertise specific services. James Ham, a member of the L.A. County Bar Assn.’s Committee on Responsibility and Conduct, points out that while technically valid, these types of compensation cases are subject to serious abuse--workers’ compensation cases have increased dramatically across the country in the past year. Ham believes that the emphasis on work-related stress “represents an entitlement mentality. These ads encourage people who are simply feeling poorly to think they’re entitled to a LOTTO.”