High Life A WEEKLY FORUM FOR HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS : By Her Side : 16-Year-Old Helps Mother Through Bout With Breast Cancer

MISSION VIEJO —  When Valerie Meyer found a small lump in her breast last fall, Kim Meyer never dreamed she would soon be helping her mother through six months of chemotherapy treatments.

“She was a great source of strength for me,” Valerie said of Kim, who will be a junior at Capistrano Valley High School this fall.

Though Kim was only in kindergarten when her mother suffered her first bout with cancer, she remembered how she felt: “It was scary. I was too young and didn’t know what was happening. I remember when I was little that she was sick and in the hospital.”

Kim, 16, vowed to support her mother this time around.

“Kim was there right from when we found out,” Valerie said. “She was a lot of help to me.”

Just one month after 10 years of remission, Valerie found a lump in her breast while doing her monthly self-examination.

“When I felt the lump, I thought that it was probably breast cancer again,” she said, and immediately scheduled an appointment with her doctor.

After feeling the lump, the doctor said it was probably non-cancerous. Although the tumor was free moving and similar to a benign tumor, Valerie was still concerned. “It felt a lot like the first one,” she said. “The doctor didn’t think it was malignant but ordered a biopsy anyway.”

A few days later, Kim, 16, received a phone call from the doctor’s office. “They couldn’t get hold of Mom because she was at work,” Kim said.

When the doctor would only talk to her father, Harvey, Kim suspected the worst. Her suspicions grew stronger, she said, “when I saw Dad in the bedroom and he was crying.”

When Valerie came home from her job at the Orange County Unit of the American Cancer Society in Santa Ana, her husband gently broke the news to her and Kim.

“It was harder for me (to believe) the second time,” Valerie said. “After 10 years, I thought I was putting that chapter of my life behind me. It was much more frightening because we knew what to expect.”

Kim said she began to worry when she realized her mother would have to have another mastectomy followed by months of chemotherapy. “The first couple days after the diagnosis were the hardest,” she said.

Valerie spent the days after her diagnosis visiting several medical specialists. Although she appeared calm in planning for her surgery, Kim realized her mother was nearly in a state of shock. “It was almost like I was taking care of a good friend,” Valerie said about making the arrangements.

With the support of her family, Valerie had a modified mastectomy on Nov. 16.

“I took the day off school for her surgery,” Kim said. “I was there to support my dad, too. I was scared, but I knew she’d get through it. She was strong during the whole thing.”

“For a while, I had to take care of (my mother after she came home from the hospital). I made dinner and cleaned the house sometimes. She had a drain attached to her, and I helped her use it. I helped her move around.”

Said Valerie: “She was my nurse. She did things I never thought she could.”

Kim said she often accompanied her mother to her chemotherapy treatments.

“She’d sit across from me, and I’d talk to her to distract myself. She was my moral support,” Valerie said. “Before my treatments, they would take my red and white blood cell counts. Then they would put two different medications through an IV. After 10 or 15 minutes, Kim would drive me home.”

Kim said her mother was shocked by the amount of hair loss she experienced.

“Three weeks into the treatments, I lost my hair,” Valerie said. “They told me to expect my hair to thin, but since my immune system was weak, I lost nearly all of my hair.”

In January, Harvey shaved her head. “It was as smooth as a baby’s bottom when it was done,” Valerie said. “I looked like Yul Brynner or Sinead O’Connor.”

Mother and daughter decided to go wig shopping together.

“That was fun,” Kim said. “At first, she tried on some wigs in her natural hair color, but they didn’t look right.”

So instead of matching her naturally brown hair, Valerie chose four different wigs--two blond ones--short and long--brunette and red.

“I wear whichever wig matches my mood,” she said. “Some go better with certain outfits than others.”

Said Kim: “I think she has the most fun with the long blond wig. Some people don’t even recognize her when I’m not with her.”

With chemotherapy again behind her, Valerie appears to be more healthy with each passing day.

“I feel better and stronger now,” she said. “It’s just a matter of follow up now.”

Kim said her mother’s experiences have caused her to view a few things differently.

“I’m more aware that I might get cancer, since it’s hereditary,” she said.

Kim said she would schedule her first mammogram before the suggested age of 35.

At the same time, both said the experiences with cancer have pulled their family together.

“I think that we’re closer because of it,” Valerie said.

Janet Bester is a regular contributor to High Life.