Working to Even the Score

U nconventional wisdom for a Wednesday morning . . .

The Dodgers: They are hated, no question. The Braves are beloved, no question. But let’s keep the playing field even, shall we? After months of numbing inertia in the office of the NL President, Bill White finally did the right thing by ordering Norm (I Won’t Serve My Suspension Unless We’re Playing Atlanta) Charlton back to the mound. Dodger paranoia can be an ugly thing, but blatantly rolling over for the Braves is the ugliest. The idea is to send the best team to the playoffs, not the most congenial.

Deion Sanders: The Braves are beloved, but my question is why?

Otis Nixon: To the best of my knowledge, Tommy Lasorda is blameless on this one.

Tony Danza: Of course, with friends like this, something must be said for the Dodgers’ enemies.

Boston Red Sox: Two chokes in one season, which is outdoing even themselves. Can they go for three?

Matt Young: In Seattle, nobody compared him to Mike Torrez or Bill Buckner. Six-point-three-five million can’t buy you love.

Minnesota Twins: It’s an endearing tale, worst to first, but the storyline was fresher in 1987. Less commercial, too. Just what the World Series needs--the Homer Simpson Hanky.

Chili Davis, Devon White: Angels can too make the playoffs.

Michael Jordan: Ready for prime time? Yes, a pleasant surprise. But there was no way he was going to dominate “Saturday Night Live,” not with Jesse Jackson reading “Green Eggs And Ham” on Weekend Update.

Isiah Thomas: What’s the controversy? The U.S. Olympic basketball organizers wanted two point guards and they went with the best--Magic Johnson and John Stockton. And about the If-Larry-Goes-Isiah-Should-Go argument: Larry Bird is not the player he once was, but the player he once was revitalized an entire sport. Bird and Magic helped save the NBA at a time when the league’s TV ratings trailed Sgt. Bilko re-runs. If simply for the years of public service, Bird belongs. Thomas was always more interested in personal public relations.

Wilt Chamberlain: He’s the star-spangled groupie at the U.S. Open, he says he wants a try out for the Olympic basketball team, he’s making Reggie Jackson look a paragon of stability and self contentment.

Bill Laimbeer: Another Olympic basketball wanna-be. Apparently believes that Ugly American is a concept that never goes out of fashion.

Cal State Fullerton: The Titans were within a field goal of Georgia in the second half Saturday and played their way back onto the front page Sunday. Good for them. But if anything was learned from the month of September, it’s that the Titans need to schedule fewer Georgias and more Northridges.

Ryder Cup, Davis Cup, America’s Cup: Our cups runneth over, but why didn’t anybody care until we lost them?

Wally Joyner: Betting on baseball only gets you in trouble and thrown off the Hall of Fame ballot, but if I were to wager what Wally will be wearing in the spring of ‘92, I’d say St. Louis Cardinal red.

Gaston Green: He leads the AFC in rushing, he has gained more yards (518) in five Denver Bronco games than he did in three seasons with the Rams. So who was the bust in Anaheim--Green or John Robinson?

Bobby Humphrey: The 49ers trade for Tim Harris and now they’ve rekindled talks for Denver’s other tailback. Good thing the Ram lineup is so set.

Bobby Hebert: New Orleans man in the street, Sept. 1: “No good rotten traitor.” New Orleans man in the street, Oct. 1: “Holdout? What holdout?”

Ron Meyer: The Jeff George trade took him down. Tell the Falcons no and Rison is still Meyer’s wide receiver, Chris Hinton is still Meyer’s left offensive tackle, and Jeff Trudeau is still Meyer’s starting quarterback. Would the Colts still be 0-5?

Dan Henning: Next . . .

Raiders 12, 49ers 6: If you want to know what’s wrong with professional football today. . . Florida State 31, Michigan 23 (halftime): I can give you another example . . .

Professional Spring Football League: Yes, it’s coming, scheduled to set up shop in Albuquerque, Boston, Columbus, Las Vegas, Little Rock, Miami-Fort Lauderdale, Portland, Salt Lake City and Tampa in February of ’92. “We’re not going to make the same mistakes as the USFL,” the league founder promises. Scheduled to close down shop in the summer of ’92.

Jeff Torborg: As the Mets come calling, a word of advice: Look before you leap.

Pat Bradley: At 40, she’s the Jimmy Connors of women’s golf--except that when she wins, her mother rings the bell back home in Westford, Mass. Connors does all his bell-ringing himself.