Call it the Case of the Large...

Call it the Case of the Large Fake Breasts in the Small Claims Court.

A Van Nuys judge ruled that Mark Curtis Productions must pay a Buena Park special-effects firm $2,500 for creating the size 99MMM foam rubber falsies for an adult video.

Curtis had initially balked, saying that the devices were too large and wrinkly.

Mel Slavick, owner of Creative Effects, countered that the bogus breasts weighed just 10 pounds each and “are beautiful.”

“Sure, they have stretch marks,” Slavick added. “But we wanted to make them look realistic.”

Pro Tem Judge Lewis Kent found the case deflating.

“I want to tell you how appalled I am by the business you are in,” he said, “and my disdain that you are taking up the court’s time with this matter.”

“Congratulations Darryl Strawberry on your 99 RBIs,” proclaimed a 99 Cents Only Store ad this week. “You have the same policy as we do . . . nothing over 99 ever!”

A spokeswoman maintained that it was a sincere thank-you to the Dodger outfielder--as well as a play on the company’s name.

But Strawberry did drive in 108 runs in 1990. And, inasmuch as the team might have won the pennant were it not for his slow start this season, Dodger fans can only hope that in 1992, he will be similarly honored by a $1.10 Only Store.

List of the Day:

Suggested uses for some of Christo’s 1,760 giant umbrellas after they’re taken down later this month:

1--To be held by a Precision Parasol Marching Team in the Doo Dah Parade.

2--To cover Mayor Bradley’s lawn so he doesn’t have to worry about exceeding his water allotment.

3--To dome Dodger Stadium.

4--To cover a restaurant where the Brown Derby used to be.

5--To cover the guests in case Liz has another outdoor wedding.

What else is as out of season in L.A. as umbrellas?

The Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co., accompanying its introduction of a new “rain tire,” has announced that it will co-sponsor some L.A. high school classes “addressing techniques on wet-weather driving.”

We mentioned the other day that Travel & Leisure magazine offers quips about L.A. by H.L. Mencken and Woody Allen in a “20 Top Travel Quotes” list this month. Scott Schubach of West L.A. offers this one from comic Fred Allen: “L.A. is a wonderful place--if you’re an orange.”

Schubach admits that Allen’s crack has become obsolete since orange groves, like wet weather, are a thing of the past in L.A.

We occasionally publish photos of misspellings in this space, and Laura Henning of Long Beach came across the work of a local sign maker who was obviously determined to avoid such an honor.

An irreverent press release from those wild and crazy Rose Parade folks notes that “Charlie McCarthy (with Edgar Bergen, of course) is the only dummy to have been honored by the Tournament of Roses (1940)--though it can be argued that he was not the ‘dumbest’ Grand Marshal.”

It should be noted that several former Presidents have served as grand marshal.

miscelLAny:

Los Angeles County, which Supervisor Kenneth Hahn has proposed for statehood, is the home of nearly 8.9 million residents. It’s more populous than 42 states.