They’re Off and Waddling : Antelope Valley: A Pearblossom resident nostalgic for the duck races of his Canadian boyhood started a regional tradition in 1975.
Nancy Posner was talking to her duck.
“You’re going to run a great race,” purred Posner, draping Buck over her shoulder, smoothing his feathers. “Look straight ahead and keep going, Buckie. Don’t stop and don’t look back. Keep your eye on the finish line.”
At the starting gate, Posner launched Buck into a lengthy pen alongside three other contenders named Delmar, Astor and Feathers.
Then Posner began to terrorize her duck.
“Go-go-go ca-ca-ya yaaaaiiiiii eeeeeee!” she screeched rapidly, sounding like a defective car alarm. Buck flew, never looked back and nearly captured a heat in Acton’s third annual duck race.
So began an Antelope Valley custom dating to 1975 when Brian Taylor, owner of Pearblossom Feed & Supplies, started holding duck races. The Antelope Valley hasn’t been the same since. Some residents say the race rivals Calaveras County’s famed frog-jumping contest.
Posner, 47, a Los Angeles insurance underwriter, said her terrorist technique involved “first calming the duck down, lulling him into a false sense of security, then scaring the hell out of him.”
Onlookers were impressed. “I would run from that too,” said one. “Reminds me of my childhood,” said another, adding, “What duck nightmares are made of.”
Other heats produced similarly dysfunctional ducks, “but none as neurotic as mine,” Posner said.
About 200 residents turned out for Acton’s Sept. 22 event, a race that by day’s end would be marred by shocking revelations of duck-switching. Phelan, in San Bernardino County, held a duck race Sept. 29 in conjunction with its Phelan Phamily Phun Days and Pearblossom will hold a race Sunday.
Champion ducks from the Acton, Phelan and Pearblossom regional races will face off in the California State Duck Finals immediately after the Pearblossom event. The grand champion will take home a coveted yard-high trophy fashioned of twin Grecian columns topped by a large gold-plated duck.
The races, run by each town’s Chamber of Commerce or community club, charge a $3 entry fee and raise from $200 to $2,000, proceeds that are used by the sponsoring organization.
Taylor began the Pearblossom event after growing nostalgic for hometown duck races he experienced as a boy in Canada. After Taylor’s death, the Pearblossom chamber took over the event in 1978 and added a best-dressed duck contest. The races at Acton and Phelan began three years ago.
The annual duck pageantry has few rules. Entrants, who bring their own or pay up to $3 to rent a duck, are forbidden to touch their birds during the race. Racers are told to drop their ducks into the pen at the count of three. But some, such as Posner, attempt a power launch that often backfires, causing ducks to plow bill-first into the sawdust.
Such tactics are considered declasse at the best-dressed duck contest, held before each town’s race. In fact, when Acton resident Betty Lundigan was asked if she would later race her duck Snuggles (dressed as Robin Hood), she lowered her eyes and sniffed, “He doesn’t do races.”
Ducks with attitude were everywhere at Acton’s contest, held behind the Acton Community Club.
Snuggles was accompanied by Spot (both snow-white mallards), dressed as a friar. As Robin Hood, Snuggles wore buckskin leggings and a scalloped, green felt jacket fastened with chest laces and a leather belt. A silver sword was tucked at his side, just below a quiver of arrows he shouldered on his back. One of two fake arms held a bow. A brown, triangular hat speared with a white feather completed the ensemble.
The friar sported a simpler outfit, a brown muslin cloak fastened with a cord holding a monogrammed pocket purse.
Again, onlookers were impressed. “I vote for the duck in the Kevin Costner suit,” said one woman. “They should call this, ‘Ten ways to humiliate your duck,’ ” said a man, doling out bits of hot dog bun to the friar.
The medieval duo were upstaged by the swashbuckling Ducktagnan--”a takeoff on the fourth musketeer, D’Artagnan,” said D. J. Poehls, straightening her duck’s black cavalier hat edged with a gray feather. Ducktagnan donned a black silk cape trimmed in gold lame, a white Renaissance ruffle collar and body-high leggings.
But the crowd wasn’t satisfied with ducks dressed as historical figures. They wanted more. They wanted Madonna Duck.
She entered, waddling cautiously in her snug black Lycra tube dress wreathed with a single strand of pearls. A silver-blond tangle of hair fell carelessly about her beak. Her sleek, tan body squirmed as she struggled to wriggle out of her clothes. The crowd went wild.
“She’s voguing!” yelled a teen-ager. “She’s undressing!” screamed another. “I thought it was supposed to be Barbara Bush,” puzzled an elderly woman.
The ducks did their ramp walks, paparazzi snapping pictures as the crowd pressed close. The winners were soon announced: Ducktagnan captured first prize. Robin Hood took second, and Friar and Madonna Duck tied for third.
“It’s great fun,” said Agua Dulce resident Poehls, 35, picking up her trophy. “I placed second two years ago with a Bat Duck costume. I just sat in front of the TV nights sewing this new one. It took about 10 hours.”
Back at the races, beauty queen Miss Acton, Jennifer Lanza, 17, acted as judge. “I go to all the events,” said Lanza, untangling strands of blond hair from her rhinestone tiara. “I’ve done the chili cook-off and grand openings at a Mexican restaurant and the new Acton doughnut shop. It’s fun.”
Madonna Duck, minus her outfit, raced, managing only a slow but steady waddle to the finish. “Maybe there weren’t enough cameras around,” said an onlooker.
Dusty Sims, who supplied the 35 ducks for the Acton (population 7,500) race, entered his favorite, Aphrodite--what Sims called an “Egyptian goose.” “You can race anything as long as it has a beak,” said Sims, 45, brushing off comments from onlookers who said Aphrodite didn’t qualify as a real duck.
Sims, who owns Snowline Bird Ranch in Phelan, supplies ducks for all three regional races. Ducks that aren’t purchased at the races ($7 for small and $10 for large varieties) are returned to the ranch.
After 10 heats and three runoffs, it was time for Acton’s final race.
Posner, now followed by an entourage of fans impressed by her unique duck yelp, qualified. Valencia resident Lisa (LM) Rosenfeld and her duck, Bill, also raced, alongside Rent-a-duck, entered by Michelle Gerard of Canyon Country. A duck named Beijing was a no-show.
And according to an official race journal, Posner was now racing Duck Bill, who had won the seventh heat.
It was a tight contest. Duck Bill blazed ahead, followed by Posner’s piercing yelp, until the duck did an about-face with Posner in full pursuit charging toward the starting line. Rent-a-duck zigzagged down the track, but sat down inches before the finish. Bill streaked ahead of the two, stopped momentarily, then dove to the finish as Rosenfeld, who was declared the winner, lost her balance and nearly toppled into the pen.
But the spectacular finish was marred by foul play. Posner and Rosenfeld, who are friends, revealed that they were confused when both were called to the finals--one to race Bill and one to race an apparently nonexistent duck named Duck Bill. But both had raced Bill in either a heat or runoff.
“We decided to pull in Buck, Bill’s brother,” said Posner, adding that Rosenfeld raced substitute Buck and she raced Bill. Rosenfeld and Buck actually won the race, although the duck was listed as Bill. “Buck did well because he was fresh--he hadn’t raced for a while,” Posner said. “And Buck had never won a heat, so technically he shouldn’t have been in the finals.”
Race organizers were not amused upon hearing of the switch. “We trust people in Acton; it’s known as an honest town,” said Gayle Davis, 58, race co-director. “We don’t play politics here and we’re not going to tag each duck. As far as we’re concerned, it’s a legitimate race. If anybody switched ducks, they’ll just have to live with it.”
Rosenfeld, 26, simply said: “I’m proud of my duck,” adding that he and his sibling Bill were borrowed from a friend’s ranch in Acton. “I had never even held a duck before today. But I ran him and we made it. Now he’s famous.”
The Pearblossom regional duck race will begin at 1 p.m. Sunday and the California State Duck Finals will follow about 4 p.m. Best-dressed duck judging begins at 2 p.m. Food and beverages are available. Admission: $1 adults, free for children under 10. Gates open at 10 a.m. at the Pearblossom Chamber of Commerce, 34004 E. 128th St. Information: (805) 944-2354.
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