After Long Trip, They Received a Chilly Reception

Eastern Montana’s cross-country team traveled 618 miles through ice, snow and bone-chilling winds to reach Fargo, N.D., to compete in an NCAA regional meet last weekend.

The problem was, the team got there a week ahead of schedule and found the course deserted, except for the snow, which was being blown around by 45-m.p.h. northwest winds.

“I came out for practice Friday and there they were, wondering why the course wasn’t marked and no one else was around,” said Don Larson, coach of the host North Dakota State team. “I never felt so sorry for anybody in my life.”

Touche, Tommy: U.S. Olympic baseball Coach Ron Fraser wanted Tom Lasorda to set the tone at the opening of his 1992 tryouts so he asked the Dodger manager to give a motivational speech to the candidates.

Fraser said: “You must believe in free speech,” and Lasorda replied: “Sure I believe in free speech.”

“That’s good, because you’re going to give one,” Fraser retorted.

Trivia time: Fred Couples won this year’s Vardon Trophy, awarded for the lowest scoring average on the PGA Tour. How many did Jack Nicklaus win?

Don’t hurry: It’s said that you don’t need to arrive at an NBA game until the last quarter. But how about the NFL? Of 11 games Sunday, eight were won in the last two minutes and two went into overtime.

Still hoping: One thing John Eisenberg of the Baltimore Sun would like to hear: “A baseball player saying, ‘You know, I oughta be curing cancer for the money they’re paying me to hit .245.’ ”

Get it? One of the stranger names in thoroughbred racing is the horse Gnitsaoc Mi Reglob. His sire is Bolger-Im Coasting.

Takes one to know one: Art Krebs, an inspector on the NASCAR Winston Cup circuit, says, “Some of our best inspectors come from the competitors’ garages.”

Golf etiquette: Every golfer is supposed to repair divots after hitting iron shots. Arthur Ferri of Smithfield, R.I., neglected to repair his after practicing with his sand wedge at a softball field and was hauled into court and fined $458.

Police offered his divots as evidence.

Add etiquette: Virginia Parsons, 72, allegedly disguised herself in a raincoat, hat and sunglasses and toured the Miami Shores course, spreading crystals that gave off the odor of rotten eggs. It reportedly cost $40,000 in canceled starting times and clean-up charges.

Parsons, upset by a $5 increase in greens fees, was charged with criminal mischief.

Not so tough talk: Larry Holmes will fight Jamie (Featherman) Howe on Nov. 12 at Jacksonville, Fla., for about $50,000. Howe has not won since 1989 and has lost seven of his last 10 fights.

“I won’t lie to you, I want cakewalks,” Holmes says. “For the money they’re paying me, I ain’t fighting nobody tough.”

Can’t wait: When a total eclipse hid the sun in Hawaii at 7:28 a.m. last July 11, the Waikoloa Beach course held a closest-to-the-pin contest called “Shot in the Dark” using balls painted half black.

It was such a success they are already planning the next one--May 3, 2106.

Trivia answer: None.

Quotebook: Stan Barrett, on the difference between driving a rocket car at 739.66 m.p.h. in the desert and a stock car at 100 m.p.h. on a banked oval: “They’re very similar. I was hanging on both times.”