Monument of Love : New Memorial in Brea Dedicated to Those Who Died in Violent Crimes Gives Relatives ‘a Place to Put Flowers’ : Monument of Love

Jean and Joseph Pascale’s 26-year-old daughter Susanmarie was murdered by her husband in 1985, two days before Susanmarie’s divorce would have been final.

“He shot the door in and he stood over her and shot her while she was begging for her life,” said Jean Pascale. “She was heard to say, ‘Please don’t hurt me.’ ”

The Anaheim couple scattered Susanmarie’s ashes in the ocean off Carmel, her favorite town and where she had planned to move.

The Pascales took over raising their daughter’s 3-year-old son and Jean Pascale, still in shock three months after the murder, joined the Orange County chapter of Parents of Murdered Children. The support group, which she still attends on a monthly basis, has “been a lifesaver,” she said.

But while the pain has lessened over the years, something has been missing.

“When my grandson was very small, he was talking to me and said, ‘Boy, grandma, I wish I had a place to put flowers for my mom.’ I said, ‘There is a place we’re going to have soon.’ ”

At 2 on Sunday afternoon, after nearly four years of fund raising, the Pascales will join several hundred other relatives of crime victims at Memory Garden Memorial Park in Brea to dedicate the Crime Victims Memorial Monument.

The Pascales’ now-10-year-old grandson, Jeffrey Oxford-Pascale, will unveil the gray marble memorial.

“Basically, it’s a monument of love,” said Jean Pascale, a founding member of the monument committee, which raised $15,000 for the memorial, the first of its kind on the West Coast.

Scheduled speakers include state Sen. Edward R. Royce (R-Anaheim) and Collene Campbell of San Juan Capistrano, whose 27-year-old son Scott was murdered in 1982. Campbell also is the sister of millionaire racing promoter Mickey Thompson, who was murdered, along with his wife, Trudy, in 1988 at their estate in Bradbury in the San Gabriel Valley.

Representatives from the Irvine-based Victim-Witness Assistance Program, Parents of Murdered Children and Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) also will attend the event, which marks the beginning of Victim Rights Week in California.

The 5-foot-high monument is just inside the entrance to the memorial park, which donated the site. Between a carved pink eternal flame and an engraved rose are the words:

“Dedicated to those who lost their lives to violent crime.”

Lining the walkway leading to the memorial are granite markers bearing the names of men, women and children who have been killed in violent acts such as homicide and drunk driving. (Family members made a $50 donation to cover the cost of engraving.)

There are about 100 names so far.

But there is room for more than 1,000 names, and each year, during Victim Rights Week, more will be added.

“We’re trying to memorialize the victims and we also want people to know that what is happening out there just can’t go on; it’s just so awful,” said Pascale, who works for the Victim-Witness Assistance Program. “This memorial is something I hope will make people aware of the violence.”

In 1990, according to the California Department of Justice, there were 3,562 willful homicides statewide and 149 in Orange County. According to the California Highway Patrol, alcohol-involved accidents claimed 2,382 lives statewide and 108 in Orange County in 1990.

The money raised for the Crime Victims Memorial Monument was the result of grass-roots fund-raising efforts that included T-shirt, candy and bake sales, raffles and car rallies. The memorial monument committee is continuing efforts to raise an additional $2,000 to $3,000 for two benches that will be installed near the monument. Anyone interested in making a donation may call Parents of Murdered Children at (714) 647-7508.

The idea to erect the memorial originated with members of the Orange County chapter of Parents of Murdered Children.

“A lot of us thought it would be nice to have somewhere where we could all be together to remember our loved ones,” said Carol Ralph of Huntington Beach, who served on the fund-raising committee.

Ralph is a longtime member of the 8-year-old Orange County chapter of Parents of Murdered Children.

Her 18-year-old son Bradley Kaye was killed in 1984. His body was found partially buried in a ditch by construction workers in Irvine. Bruce Ralph, her former husband, was later convicted in the murder of his stepson and sentenced to 27 years in prison.

Like Pascale, Ralph has found great comfort in attending meetings of Parents of Murdered Children.

“I actually have a life now,” she said. “I don’t think I’d have had one without the group. I really feel if you had spoken to me 20 years ago about losing a child that I’d have wanted to just take my own life.”

Friends and relatives “were wonderful,” she said, “but they didn’t know how I felt. You’re not really yourself when this happens to you. I was doing strange and crazy things.”

Although she was “functioning and trying to carry on normal living,” after her son’s murder, Ralph said, she would get up at 2:30 in the morning and go grocery shopping--then she’d leave her groceries in the parking lot.

“When I went to my second meeting I found somebody had done the same thing and I didn’t quite feel so alone,” said Ralph.

For her, she said, the Crime Victims Memorial Monument “is a place that will give me comfort and I can visit whenever I like.”

Jean Pascale agrees:

“It’s a place to go and place flowers and remember the good times.”