CHOW, BABY! : AN OPINIONATED GUIDE TO DINING IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

The perfect restaurant guide would read your mind, know your mood and understand your economic situation. It would tell you how a restaurant looks, show you the menu, lead you to the best tables. The perfect restaurant guide, of course, does not exist.

In the real world, restaurant guides come in two basic flavors. The missionary model wants to tell you where to eat: It feels compelled to give out grades and shower stars upon a chosen few. Its opposite number has almost no opinion: It is so afraid of causing offense that it manages to say something nice about even the most appalling places.

This one doesn’t. It doesn’t want to tell you where to eat. It doesn’t want to educate you about all the restaurants in Southern California. What it does want to do is make eating out a little bit more fun.

If you’re looking for romance, high adventure, the hottest new place in town or a forecast of the future of food in Southern California, read on. If you’re not looking for any of those things, we’re awfully sorry. Unfortunately, we were unable to read your mind.

ONLY IN LOS ANGELES

Your friends come to visit and they want to go out to eat. They’ll eat anything, they say, so long as it’s different from what they can get at home. Where should you take them? There are lots of possibilities.

REBECCA’S. A room that looks like Batman goes to Mexico. Food that tastes like Julia Child goes to Mexico. Drinks that taste like the Juiceman goes to Mexico. A crowded bar that sounds like Metallica goes to Mexico. And a bill that looks like the Millionaire goes to Mexico. 2025 Pacific Ave., Venice; (310) 306-6266.

CITY. When the restaurant opened, people said it was “cold,” “strange” and “only for the young.” Now, of course, we know that it was really bold, innovative, defining the Los Angeles look. The food’s bold, too--an uncompromising mix of American, Korean, French and Indian food with a brand new twist: The restaurant now offers a politically correct menu that maximizes grains and minimizes meat. 180 S. La Brea Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 938-2155.

SPAGO. Since it opened in 1982, Spago has been the archetypal L.A. restaurant, a star-filled room with a chef as famous as the people he feeds. From designer pizza to designer vegetables, the restaurant has spotted every food trend of the past 10 years. The good news is that even if you’re not famous you can get a reservation. The bad news is that it will be at 6 or at 9, it will be in the back room--and you’ll have to wait for your table. 1114 Horn Ave., West Hollywood; (310) 652-4025.

MATSUHISA. Nobu Matsuhisa is not like other sushi chefs. He spent time in Peru, where he learned to love spice, garlic and innovation. His sushi is unique: Sometimes it’s cooked, sometimes it’s spicy, sometimes it’s even wrapped up in gold leaf. The restaurant doesn’t look like much, but it’s so unusual it’s attracted a major star following. 129 N. La Cienega Blvd., Beverly Hills; (310) 659-9639.

BOMBAY CAFE. California cuisine gets curried. It looks like a mini-mall fast-food joint, but there’s Indian fire in the mouth--in searing dishes and fresh, homemade chutneys. Ambience not up to your standards? Get the food to go. 12113 Santa Monica Blvd., West Los Angeles; (310) 820-2070.

KATSU. When Katsu Michite opened his restaurant in a storefront in Los Feliz, he bought handmade plates on which to serve his sushi. He bought world-class art to hang on his walls. But he wasn’t happy. The restaurant was so small that people waiting were crowded into the front. So he expanded. Did he put in more tables? No--he just built a room, filled it with art and let people wait in it. 1972 Hillhurst Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 665-1891.

LA SERENATA DE GARIBALDI. Los Angeles is supposed to have great Mexican food, but for the most part, it doesn’t. This, however, is an exception, a simple little place in Boyle Heights that serves fresh fish in breathtaking sauces. Come early in the evening, and you’ll see Mexican families and mariachis; come later, and it will be artists from the nearby lofts. 1842 E. 1st St., Los Angeles; (213) 265-2887.

CHINOIS ON MAIN. Wolfgang Puck’s foodie heaven is a rich mix of French, Chinese and Japanese food in a dark fantasy of a room. Somebody tried to clone the restaurant in New York, but it just didn’t work; maybe it takes the local mix of attitude and innovation for this sort of restaurant to succeed. But Los Angeles loves the foie gras with pineapple and cinnamon, the lobster with curry and fried spinach, the creme brulee with ginger. 2709 Main St., Santa Monica; (310) 392-9025.

FENNEL-PAZZIA. Where but in L.A. can you find a restaurant that is part French bistro, part Italian trattoria? The Pazzia side serves superb pizzas and some of the finest pasta in the city. The Fennel side serves warm lentil salads and the slow-cooked lamb that the French are famous for. Both sides serve the city’s best espresso. 755 N. La Cienega Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 657-8787.

CHEFS TO WATCH

Wonder what you’ll be eating next year? Wonder where you’ll be eating next year? If you’re eager to know the future of food in Southern California, these are the chefs to watch.

YUJEAN KANG. When Kang came to Southern California last year, he “didn’t think he was ready for the Westside.” So he opened Yujean Kang’s Chinese Restaurant in Pasadena--and let the Westside come to him. Which it does, in droves. The question is, when will Kang go to them?

Kang made his name by staying faithful to his Chinese roots but incorporating Western ingredients. Where Chinois and its clones use Western techniques on Eastern foods, Kang does the opposite. Although he uses ingredients such as fava beans, corn flour and caviar, his cooking is thoroughly Chinese. His dainty dim sum are elegantly original, and there’s not a better dish in town than his lobster with fava beans, caviar and chiles.

PATRICK CLARK. Clark became famous in New York at Soho’s trendsetting Odeon. He went on to open Metro and then surprised both coasts when he pulled up his roots and came to California to cook Italian food at Bice in Beverly Hills. Clark is one of the rare chefs whose food is both straightforward and sophisticated; his cooking (even his Italian cooking) is superb--but you have to wonder when he’s going to get tired of making spaghetti.

TORIBIO PRADO. He’s the head of a veritable restaurant dynasty. He started cooking at the Ivy and then went on to open Cha Cha Cha, a trendy Caribbean restaurant that brought all the best people to the worst neighborhood. Now he’s got another Cha Cha Cha in the Valley. Meanwhile, he’s helped his brothers open Prado in Larchmont and his cousin open Bamboo in West Los Angeles. Not bad for a man who’s still got four years before he turns 30.

MICHEL RICHARD. When he opened Citrus five years ago, he was clearly trying to prove that he is one of the most exciting chefs in America. His restless California-French cuisine is beautiful, offbeat and constantly evolving, and most of Southern California went wild for it. But that success was only a start. Next came the Broadway Deli in Santa Monica (in partnership with Bruce Marder of West Beach Cafe and Marvin Zeidler) and then Citronelle in Santa Barbara. Now the Deli is contemplating clones all over the place--next the Valley again, then Hollywood, then Paris--and who knows when the next Citronelle will pop up? But one thing’s sure: Michel Richard has Big Plans.

THOMAS KELLER. What’s one of America’s most respected chefs doing cooking in a hotel? Thomas Keller must be asking himself that, too. One of the pioneers of food as architecture, Keller’s intellectual dishes seem a little out of place in Checkers’ staid downtown Los Angeles setting, and you can’t help wondering how long he’s going to stay there.

ODETTE FADA. Italian women are among the world’s greatest cooks, but they do not traditionally take their places in professional kitchens. And it is certainly rare to find a woman running a big-deal fancy restaurant like Rex. Yet Fada has brought new life to this establishment, turning out clean, elegant, precise dishes that virtually redefine fine Italian food in Los Angeles.

FRANCOIS KWAKU-DONGO. Spago’s latest chef came from the Ivory Coast and began washing dishes in an Italian restaurant in New York. He watched carefully; he learned all the techniques. And then, in a story out of the movies, the chef fell ill and Kwaku stepped in. He’s been stepping up ever since.

What he’s brought to Spago is a new respect for risotto--and his own subtle touches. How long will he stay? Time will tell, but if he’s anything like his predecessors (Mark Peel, who now co-owns Campanile, and Hiro Sone, who co-owns Terra in the Napa Valley), he’ll soon be moving on.

JOACHIM SPLICHAL. Kurt Niklas of Bistro Garden on Coldwater pioneered it. Piero Selvaggio took the first brave step. But when Joachim Splichal of Patina, one of America’s most respected chefs, announced that he was branching out to take over the former La Serre, the culinary migration to the Valley became official. If Splichal is successful (and there is every reason to believe that he will be), you can expect a stampede of restaurateurs over the hill.

VILAI AND PRAKAS YENBAMROONG. This mother-and-son team opened Los Angeles’ only elegant Thai restaurant, on the Sunset Strip, and made it a hit with the stars. Now they, too, are going over the hill, opening a branch of Talesai in the Valley. But this will be more than just another Thai restaurant: the Yenbamroongs plan to offer the sort of street food that makes Thailand such a terrific place to visit.

MICHAEL FRANKS & ROBERT BELL. In 1982, in the middle of a recession, this duo walked into a bank with no collateral and came out with a $200,000 loan to build Chez Melange. They’ve parlayed that into five hugely successful restaurants that brought savvy food to the South Bay: In addition to Chez Melange, they also have Chez Allez, Fino, Misto and Depot (where Michael Shafer is executive chef). They may say that they have no more plans, but the smart money wouldn’t believe them.

NANCY SILVERTON. Last year her peers voted Silverton Best Pastry Chef in America--no surprise to anybody who’s eaten her Campanile desserts. And nobody disputes that her La Brea Bakery makes the best bread in Los Angeles. Now the bakery’s about to expand, and Silverton is experimenting with a whole new range of baked goods, from pizza to croissants.

DAVID WILHELM. The most visible chef in Orange County, the man who brought us Kachina, Zuni Grill and Bistro 201, has started north. He’s just opened Kachina Grill in restaurant-poor downtown Los Angeles. It’s sure to be a success--so what’s next?

KAZUTO MATSUSAKA. After spending years as chef at Puck’s Chinois on Main, Matsusaka is finally going out on his own. His deep-pockets backer reportedly made the owners of Fennel such a good offer that they couldn’t refuse it, so Matsusaka’s as-yet unnamed restaurant will have a classy Santa Monica address. There’s no question that Matsusaka has the makings of a star chef, but some wonder how this quiet, modest man will take all the attention he is likely to get.

EBERHARD MULLER. When the chef at New York’s oh-so-trendy Le Bernardin announced that he was leaving, it was big news. Then he announced that he was coming to Los Angeles, and that was even bigger news. But the biggest news of all was that he intended to serve the same fish-based cuisine as he did at the New York restaurant, thereby taking on everybody who said that the fish on the West Coast was no match for the Atlantic catch. Can he do it? Probably. Opus has just opened in Santa Monica, but if Muller is as successful as everyone expects him to be, people will have an awful lot of new fish to fry.

ITALIAN MADNESS

Sometime in the mid-’70s our love affair with French food began to go sour. All those sauces started to seem too rich, too fussy, too contrived; when we looked around the world for the sort of food we wanted to eat, we found that we were looking across France and straight into Italy.

This pasta revolution created a restaurant explosion. Your Italian restaurant options were once limited to a choice of checked tablecloths or white ones, but these days you can choose which part of Italy you’d like to eat in, which part of the menu you’d like to eat from and how much you’d like to pay. With our rampant Italian-restaurant madness, you can be pretty sure that if it’s being eaten somewhere in Italy, you can probably find it here.

CHIANTI. Crawl into one of the cozy banquettes in the back of this dark room and remember the way it was before the revolution. Opened in 1938, this is a soothing trip back to the time when waiters were men in suits instead of boys in jeans, and you didn’t have to shout in restaurants. The room may be retro, but the food, which comes from the Chianti Cucina next door, is thoroughly modern fare, so you get the past and the present in one tidy package. 7383 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 653-8333.

MATTEO’S. Return to the ‘50s in this Hollywood hangout where everybody who is anybody has a dish named for him or her. This wouldn’t be recognized as Italian food by anybody from Italy, but it will be extremely familiar to those who grew up in the garlicky goodness of the Italian restaurants that owned the East Coast 30 years ago. 2321 Westwood Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 475-4521.

VALENTINO. Los Angeles’ most exciting Italian restaurant began life as an ugly duckling and turned into a swan. Piero Selvaggio opened the restaurant 20 years ago on a shoestring and then expanded into this elegant restaurant with one of the best wine lists in the country. More important, this is a kitchen that has kept pace with what is going on in Italy: It was the first restaurant to import great olive oil, white truffles and the like. If you want up-to-the-minute Italian cuisine, this is the place to get it. 3115 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica; (310) 829-4313.

IL GIARDINO. “Is this what the food tastes like in Italy?” people asked when Il Giardino opened in the early ‘80s. The spare pastas, simple grilled fish and unfussy meat dishes were a revelation to a city raised on red sauce. Il Giardino opened with a staff that barely spoke English, but the food was eloquent enough. Today the restaurant is still serving the same simply delicious food, in the same simply unpretentious setting--at the same pretentiously high prices. 9235 W. 3rd St., Beverly Hills; (310) 275-5444.

LOCANDA VENETA. The city’s best-loved trattoria started small and stayed that way. Consistently crowded, serving some of the city’s best pasta, Locanda has a sort of reverse chic. It’s where the rich come to relax, and, despite its humble airs, it always has a buzz: It looks like nothing, but there’s always someone to look at. 8638 W. 3rd St., Los Angeles; (310) 274-1893.

REMI. Real Venetian food in a really pretty room. The menu is interestingly offbeat, staying fairly close to its Adriatic roots. Appetizers include a prosciutto made of smoked goose breast, pastas include the regional Venetian bigoli , and the entrees emphasize fish. There is also an awesome selection of grappas--and an extraordinary collection of glassware. 1451 Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica; (310) 393-6545.

L’OPERA. A former bank has become the most elegant restaurant in Long Beach, replete with marble columns, a granite bar and big cushy seats. Just the thing for a Roman restaurant, whose Italian cuisine tends toward dishes more complicated than those you’d find in a trattoria. Pastas are particularly impressive: There are few better places in Southern California to eat ravioli, orecchiette , panzerotti , gnocchi, canelloni or lasagna. Great wine, too. 101 Pine Ave., Long Beach; (310) 491-0066.

TOSCANA. True Tuscan food in a simple trattoria. Or it would be if it weren’t in Brentwood and if it weren’t always packed. This is the perfect place to indulge in one of the simple meat dishes you find in Tuscany--steak cooked in the wood-burning oven or flattened chicken grilled with rosemary. There is a related restaurant, Oli Ola in Pacific Palisades, that serves a similar, albeit more adventurous, menu. 11633 San Vicente Blvd., Brentwood; (310) 820-2448.

PRIMI. Tired of having to look at all those boring second courses, all those meat and fish dishes that you never order anyway? The whole point here is to concentrate on the primi piatti-- the appetizers and pasta dishes that everybody really wants to eat. The other point is it’s packed at lunchtime, being a virtual commissary for nearby 20th Century Fox. c,nbi,9 10543 W. Pico Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 475-9235.

ANGELI CAFFE. “Where’s the grease?” people asked when this new-wave trattoria opened. The pizzas were thin-crusted. The pasta wasn’t swamped in sauce. The antipasto was small and intensely flavored. The room was spare, bare and crowded. And the food was--and is--delicious. The enormous success of the restaurant paved the way for the many, many clones that followed. 7274 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 936-9086.

LA LOGGIA. Spare, bare and crowded comes to the Valley and is an overnight success, serving authentic pizza and pasta to clamorous film and TV executives. The place is small, and the noise is huge, but the food is good. 11814 Ventura Blvd., Studio City; (818) 985-9222.

LOUISE’S. The people’s Italian restaurant serves better-than-you’d-expect food at lower-than-you’d-expect prices. The pizzas tend to be more old-style than new--huge wheels laden with stuff--and salads, pastas and main courses are equally filling. 264 26th St., Brentwood, (213) 451-5001, and eight other locations.

IL MITO. The latest of the spare, bare and crowded set along Studio City’s restaurant row is across the street from La Loggia, just down the street from the Wine Bistro. It’s got the open kitchen, the modern design and the menu of certified modern Italian favorites; in short, it’s a big hit with the folks from the nearby studios. 11801 Ventura Blvd., Studio City; (818) 762-1818.

CAMPANILE. The next wave--Italy filtered through a California sensibility. This isn’t imitation Italian food, but what you might get if an adventurous Italian chef came to California and started playing around. There’s an emphasis on the grill, and all the flavors are strong, clear and assertive. The building has a California-romantic air, and the room has the buzz of the best Hollywood joints. In the morning, this turns into Hollywood’s version of an Italian cafe--a really hot place to come for coffee and rolls from the adjoining La Brea bakery. 624 S. La Brea Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 938-1447.

HANGOUTS

Tell me what you eat,” wrote Brillat-Savarin, the great 19th-Century philosopher of the table, “and I will tell you what you are.”

Clearly, he didn’t live in Los Angeles. In our town, what you eat is totally unimportant; where you eat is everything. People here go to restaurants just to drink water and be seen in the right place. Wondering where you should be hanging out? Probably in one of the following places.

MORTONS. The ultimate Hollywood hangout is filled with people so powerful you don’t know who they are--especially on Mondays. This is a restaurant for famous names, not famous faces, the sort of place where producers take precedence. The big deal makers all have their own tables; ours are in the back, beneath the plants. Bigwigs don’t want to think about their food--but it had better be good. The result is reliable, straight-arrow American fare. 8800 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 276-5205.

THE IVY. The famous faces all come here, and if you don’t mind trespassing, you can join them and find out the difference between them and us: They get treated well; we don’t. The decor, which tends toward cute Americana, is a little deceptive; this is no democracy. Still, stargazers pour in to eat overpriced pasta, overdressed salads, over-ambitious burgers and huge desserts. On nice weekends, it’s a swell place for an outdoor lunch--provided you don’t mind the attitude. 113 N. Robertson Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 274-8303.

DUKE’S. When the Tropicana was torn down a few years ago, all the rockers and unemployed actors in town began to worry that there wouldn’t be any place for them to eat. Happily, the beloved Duke’s moved up to the Sunset Strip, and despite the fact that the place was just a little too clean for comfort, everybody moved with it. This is one of the last of the real coffee shops, a great place for big breakfasts; now that it’s not so new anymore, it’s even starting to feel a little funky. 8909 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; (213) 652-3100

THE BISTRO GARDEN. You can’t really join the club, but you can gawk. You’re in Hollywood Wife territory here, munching among the ladies who lunch. Watch them as they come in and kiss the air around each other’s cheeks, being careful not to get their jewels tangled. Watch their eyes as they move subtly among the tables. This is one of the most civilized restaurants in town: The room and the garden are both gorgeous, the service is impeccable and the Continental food is very good. 176 N. Canon Drive, Beverly Hills; (310) 550-3900.

LUCY’S EL ADOBE CAFE. As we watch the demise of the smoke-filled room, let us take time to be grateful for Lucy’s, a place where people still drink without apology. The drink of choice is the margarita, preferably by the pitcherful. Politicians mingle with journalists in this dark room, and everybody eats chips and salsa and the sort of Mexican-American food that isn’t supposed to be good for us. 5536 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 462-9421.

LEGENDS. If nobody’s going to take you out to the ballgame, go on over to this sportsman’s paradise, where you can shout at the television of your choice. At any given time, there are five or six different games being broadcast on a dozen TVs. You can drink beer and eat the same sort of food you’d get at the ballpark--only this is a little bit better. 5236 E. 2nd St., Long Beach; (310) 433-5743.

OLIVE. This may be too cool for you; it’s too cool for almost everyone. If you’ve somehow managed to miss the club experience, though, a visit to this crowded, noisy restaurant would be a good way to simulate the anxiety. Will they let you in? Will you stumble over anybody in the dark? Will the hearing damage be permanent? And what is that on your plate, anyway? Don’t worry--the food, while highly experimental, is actually quite good. 119 S. Fairfax Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 939-2001.

HARD ROCK CAFE. Eternally appealing to the pre-teen set, who start lining up early in the evening to await their places in the dark. The room is cavernous, the noise is enormous, and if you’re old enough to drive you’re probably too old to be here. The food has a nostalgic American quality that occasionally reminds you that the original Hard Rock is in London. 8600 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 276-7605.

BROADWAY DELI. When yuppies have children and don’t want to take them out for five-course meals, this is where they come. Broadway may be the only deli in the world that serves tiramisu and fancy French wines, but it also accommodates the kids with macaroni and cheese and egg-salad sandwiches. The kids have a great time. Meanwhile, their parents try to smile, but their resigned faces are saying that they’d rather be at Citrus. 1457 Third Street Promenade, Santa Monica; (310) 451-0616.

BIG & TALL BOOKS/CAFE. Define these words: deconstruction , technonationalism , Realpolitik . If you didn’t miss one, you should be hanging out at this bookshop-coffeehouse. There are lots of other coffee houses in town--half of them seem to be within a mile of here--but this one has the added advantage of having not only its own bookstore but also its own parking lot. 7311 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles; (213) 939-5022.

LE DOME. Mortons isn’t open for lunch. Neither is Spago. At midday, the Hollywood powers dine here--on the right side of the restaurant. It’s mostly music biz in the little enclosed patio in the front, agents in the aisle next to the bar. The big power gathers at the tables just beyond that, before the little room in the back, which is a mixture of movies and music. The other rooms don’t count. What do these people eat? Everything: The menu’s huge and good. 8720 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood; (310) 659-6919.

AUTHENTIC CAFE. The poor man’s Spago doesn’t take reservations or credit cards. It doesn’t serve beer, wine or liquor, either. The music’s too loud, and the line’s too long. All that is part of the charm for the foodies on a budget who keep this one of L.A.’s busiest hangouts. The world comes marching across your plate here, and if you can’t decide whether you want Sichuan dumplings, tacos, meatloaf or a pizza, you might want to get in line. The portions are big, and the prices are right. 7605 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles; (213) 939-4626.

STANLEY’S. Valley girls come to the bar to meet Valley guys, and the resulting din is terrific. If you’re not into the meat scene in the bar, the California food in the stark dining room is actually pretty good. 13817 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks; (818) 986-4623.

LA SUPER-RICA. If you’re trying to find someone in Santa Barbara, this would be a good place to look: Everybody hangs out at Southern California’s best taco stand. Of the 25 items on the menu, there isn’t one that isn’t wonderful. The only problem is the line, which is perennial, and the wait for a table, which is eternal. 622 N. Milpas St., Santa Barbara; (805) 963-4940.

HOT NEW RESTAURANTS

Have you been to (fill in the blank) yet?”

If you are asked this question when a restaurant is only 2 days old, you know you’re confronting a real Southern Californian. No people on earth place a greater value on newness in restaurants.

And nobody makes faster judgments. So they didn’t get all the waiters hired. Tough. So they’re having trouble with the water pressure. That’s their problem. In Los Angeles, if the restaurant’s open, it’s fair game. One local critic has even been known to review restaurants before they open.

The first few weeks in a restaurant are a special kind of hell, and it’s hard for the staff to survive this sort of situation. But there’s a bright side: A restaurant that does well from the get-go is likely to be around for a while. Here are the most recent contenders.

GRANITA. Pity the poor people in Malibu--it’s such a long drive to Spago. So good-hearted Wolfgang Puck opened Granita right in the Malibu Colony Plaza shopping center. And because the restaurant doesn’t have a view, Barbara Lazaroff created one of her own--swimming fish and coral everywhere you look. Come on in--the celebrities are plentiful and the food is fine. 23725 W. Malibu Road, Malibu; (310) 456-0488.

DRAGO. Just when everybody was starting to get tired of the same old pasta, along came one of our best Italian chefs with a whole new kind of cuisine. Sure, you can get angel-hair pasta with tomatoes and basil if you insist, but why would you? There’s all this terrific Sicilian stuff to eat. Try pasta with bottarga (cured mullet tuna roe, sometimes known as “poor man’s caviar”) or rabbit with black olives. If you’re bored with tiramisu, you’ll be glad to know that Drago serves a passion-fruit creme brulee. 2628 Wilshire Blvd., Santa Monica; (310) 828-1585.

CARROTS. When the sous-chef from Chinois on Main moved into a stark little storefront in a mall and started serving his own variation of California-French-Chinese-Japanese cuisine, a lot of his fans followed him. You don’t get the incredible decor of Chinois, but you don’t get the attitude (or the prices) either. What you do get is incredible foie gras with port sauce and the world’s best grilled salmon. 2834 Santa Monica Blvd., Santa Monica; (310) 453-6505.

LA VERANDA. What happens when a young guy from St. Louis tries to conquer Beverly Hills? If he’s very, very nice, and he keeps his prices very, very reasonable, he can be successful even in a recession. David Slay’s place is cozy rather than cool, the food comfortable rather than cutting edge; this isn’t the place to take your hip young cousin, but your aunt and uncle would probably love it. 225 S. Beverly Drive, Beverly Hills; (310) 274-7246.

CA’ BREA. What if you took a really good chef from a really popular restaurant and put him in a really attractive setting? What if you then kept the prices really low? You’d have the rollicking scene at Ca’ Brea, where there’s always a wait for a table. Opened by the guys from the incredibly popular Locanda Veneta, it features good Italian food at prices usually found in dumps. 346 S. La Brea Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 938-2863.

WATER GRILL. When the Water Grill opened last year, it not only gave downtown its best-looking modern restaurant, it also gave Southern California its most impressive place to eat fish. The restaurant’s specialty is a raw seafood platter that holds eight different kinds of oysters, fresh scallops, periwinkles, clams, sea urchins, even gooseneck barnacles. There’s an amazing assortment of cooked fish dishes--and a huge American wine list. All this, and good desserts to boot. 544 S. Grand Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 891-0900.

CICADA. Good chemistry here: The food’s provided by the former chef from L’Orangerie, the atmosphere is courtesy of the former maitre d’ from Le Dome, and the money was put up by Elton John’s writing partner, Bernie Taupin. Put them in a casual room, add a dollop of popular prices, mix them all together and you get an explosive buzz, a place packed from day one with famous people. The lighting makes them (and you) look good, the service makes you good--and if you stick with the French-inspired dishes, the food even tastes good. 8478 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood; (213) 655-5559.

POSTO. Somebody had to do it. One of the super-successful Westside restaurateurs had to go over the hill and start tapping the lucrative Valley market. Valentino’s Piero Selvaggio did it in this chic, crowded little space--which was instantly packed with people tired of fighting traffic. This is just the beginning of what may turn out to be a virtual Valley stampede. Are the Los Angeles restaurants worried? You bet. 14928 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks; (818) 784-4400.

BIKINI. The bravest new restaurant of the year. It’s quiet. It’s beautiful--but not luxurious. It’s expensive. And it has a menu filled with dishes nobody has ever seen before. John Sedlar invented Franco-Southwest cuisine at Saint Estephe, and here he’s gone out even farther on a limb with a potent combination of French, Japanese, Mexican, Italian, Chinese and American food. The food is wonderful--and challenging. 1413 5th St., Santa Monica; (310) 395-8611.

DEPOT. Michael Franks and Robert Bell have a virtual lock on the great restaurants of Torrance. Their ambitious newest restaurant tells you why: It’s a lot of fun. They serve good--and amazingly eclectic--food that borrows a little something from everywhere and then makes puns about it (consider, for example, Thai-dyed chicken). There’s a good wine list and a great beer list (26 at last count). On top of that, the setting (yes, it’s an old depot) is pretty, and the prices are reasonable. 1250 Cabrillo Ave., Torrance; (310) 787-7501.

ROCKENWAGNER. When Hans and Mary Rockenwagner first opened their restaurant in Venice, they were 24 years old--and nobody came. Gradually, people discovered what inventive things the young couple were doing with French food, and the tiny room became a sought-after destination. Seven years later, Rockenwagner finally has a setting worthy of its food: The restaurant has moved into the Edgemar complex, into a modern room that exactly suits the mood of this upscale, now-generation cooking. 2435 Main St., Santa Monica; (310) 399-6504.

CAFE LA BOHEME. An extraordinary room: The ceilings go up almost as far as the eye can see, there’s a fountain and a fireplace, and the walls are covered with a dramatic collection of paintings, draperies and wrought-iron work. It’s generally filled with models, or people who should be models, wearing incredible clothes. You’d like good food, too? Well, you’re out of luck there, but if you order the simpler dishes, you won’t be too disappointed. 8400 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood; (213) 848-2360.

ANTONIO ORLANDO. Orlando was the chef at Valentino before he left to open his own Fresco in Glendale. Now he’s gone off into an even bigger space; it won’t win any design awards, but Orlando makes the best Italian food in Pasadena, and his prices are reasonable. Don’t miss his risotto. 1 W. California Blvd., Pasadena; (818) 356-0086.

CITRONELLE. When Michel Richard created a clone of his L.A. Citrus--with slightly lower prices--he instantly opened Santa Barbara’s best restaurant. The cooking is California-French at its most creative. He also instantly created a monster. Reservations are hard to get on weekends, and the attitude can be hard to take. Santa Barbara Inn, 901 E. Cabrillo Blvd., Santa Barbara; (805) 963-0111.

A LITTLE ROMANCE

It doesn’t matter how old, how rich or how sophisticated we are, when it comes to picking romantic restaurants, Americans think alike. We think dark. We think quiet. We think opulent. And in Southern California, we have a lot to think about.

IL CIELO. Ivy twines across ancient brick walls. Water comes tumbling out of the marble mouths of statues. Lights twinkle in the evening air. All we need is a strolling violinist, and here he comes now, turning the corner of this pretty patio, playing a sweet melody. Ivy-covered walls and trickling fountains may be corny, but this sort of charm has its own appeal. The food’s Northern Italian and negligible, but who’s hungry? 9018 Burton Way, Beverly Hills; (310) 276-9990.

SADDLE PEAK LODGE. You can drive out to the country for dinner--and still get back in time for the 11 o’clock news. L.A.’s favorite rural retreat is a hunting lodge in the Calabasas hills, a place where bucks stare balefully down from the walls and fires roar merrily in big stone fireplaces. The drive through the winding mountain roads is part of the fun; the good, solid food is the other part. 419 Cold Canyon Road, Calabasas; (818) 340-6029.

DIAGHILEV. Vodka, caviar and balalaika music combine into a sort of morose elegance here, but if you’re in the mood for the romance of the exile, this is where you’ll find it. The room is dark, the service impeccable, and if you want to feel like a rich White Russian living in Paris, this is the place for it. Bel Age Hotel, 1020 N. San Vicente Blvd., West Hollywood; (310) 854-1111.

KOUTOUBIA. What could be more romantic than sitting on cushions and feeding your lover with your fingers? It’s dark and very easy to imagine that you’re in some corner of Morocco, biting off pieces of bistilla and eating exotic stews filled with meat and fruits. If you’re really in the mood for adventure, ask the chef to cook you one of his special meals. 2116 Westwood Blvd., West Los Angeles; (310) 475-0729.

PATINA. The perfect place for romancing the foodie. Most of Los Angeles’ best chefs work in big, noisy spaces where the service destroys romance. This small, quiet, sparely elegant room offers the modern French cooking of one of L.A.’s most exciting chefs along with impeccable service and a superb wine list. If it’s a really romantic occasion, ask for the single booth. 5955 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 467-1108.

REX IL RISTORANTE. L.A.’s most grown-up restaurant. People who wish they were living at the beginning of the 20th Century instead of its end can come into this Deco decor and dream. There are acres between the tables. The furniture is fabulous. The kitchen doesn’t have a freezer, and exquisite portions of elegant Italian food are brought to the table by attentive waiters. There’s even an unseen singer in the balcony. 617 S. Olive St., Los Angeles; (213) 627-2300.

L’ORANGERIE. When modern life becomes too much, this is the perfect antidote. Masses of flowers, golden light from a thousand candles . . . it’s all so 18th Century you’re surprised to see waiters in modern dress. The last of L.A.’s truly elegant French restaurants, L’Orangerie serves high-end food at high-end prices. 903 N. La Cienega Blvd., Los Angeles; (310) 652-9770.

LE CHARDONNAY. You step off trendy Melrose Avenue and straight into turn-of-the-century Paris. This faithful recreation of the bistro Vagenende is all curved wood, mirrors and flickering lights. Off to one side, birds turn on a spit over a fire. The food’s fairly faithful bistro-French, the sort of stuff that’s getting hard to find in present-day Paris. 8284 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 655-8880.

LA TOQUE. Los Angeles’ best version of the quaint little French restaurant with very good food. The room itself is slightly rustic, but the food is very sophisticated. For perfect romance, sit in one of the tables in the slightly raised section and have the rosti potatoes topped with caviar. 8171 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles; (213) 656-7515.

CHAMPAGNE. This is the closest you can get to the French countryside without leaving Los Angeles. It’s as romantic--and as proper--as a provincial French inn. The menu runs the gamut from classic French to California-French with a little foray into diet food. There is also the best cheese cart in the city. 10506 Little Santa Monica Blvd., West Los Angeles; (310) 470-8446.

EATING L.A. HISTORY

People from the East like to say that there’s no history here, but they’re wrong. We adore all that’s new, it’s true, but we also have a real respect for survivors. We may occasionally sneer at places that are dishing out the same old stuff after all these years--but we keep their seats full. If you want to turn back the clock, we’ve got plenty of places that are frozen in time. Feeling nostalgic? Choose your year.

PHILIPPE’S (1908). Coming out of the sunshine into this cool, dark room with its long communal tables is like stumbling into a sepia print. The women behind the counter seem to have been dipping French dip sandwiches forever (they were invented here), and some of the men sipping 10-cent cups of coffee look as though they’ve been here for years, eating homemade doughnuts and reading their papers. 1001 N. Alameda St., Los Angeles; (213) 628-3781.

THE MUSSO & FRANK GRILL (1919). “Is this Hollywood?” ask the tourists, who come to the boulevard looking for glamour and find nothing but a tawdry street. What they’re looking for can be found here at Musso’s--the only place in this part of town that hasn’t changed since Hollywood’s heyday. The service is swell, the food is Americana at its best, the martinis really are dry and cold--and there’s almost always some famous face who’s come back to the old stomping grounds. 6667 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood; (213) 467-7788.

EL CHOLO (1927). If you don’t like the look or the taste of the typical Mexican-American restaurant, blame it on El Cholo: It’s been the model for millions of them. You know the look--tiled arches--and the taste--a combination plate of enchiladas, tamales, tacos and the like, served with rice and beans. To this day, nobody does this sort of food better than the original. 1121 S. Western Ave., Los Angeles; (213) 734-2773.

CLIFTON’S BROOKDALE CAFETERIA (1935). “Pay what you wish. Dine free unless delighted.” During one 90-day period during the Depression, this cafeteria actually fed 10,000 people for nothing. Clifton’s has always been a remarkable institution: run on the Golden Rule, its owner was instrumental in sweeping corruption out of City Hall in the late ‘30s and trying to end world hunger in the ‘40s. His children still run the cafeteria; the food’s still good, the prices are still reasonable--and they’ll still feed you for free if you’re not pleased. 648 S. Broadway, Los Angeles; (213) 627-1673.

CHASEN’S (1936). The great thing about Chasen’s isn’t that it retains the comfortable clubbiness that our new restaurants have lost. It isn’t that it is one of the last bastions of good service in the city. It’s not that the menu still has old favorites such as deviled beef bones, that salads are still made at the tables, or that the attendant in the ladies room will sew back that button that popped off. The great thing about Chasen’s is that the stars who used to come here still do--and that on any given night you’re likely to see some icon strol through the door. 9039 Beverly Blvd., West Hollywood (310) 271-2168.

LAWRY’S (1938). Americans may be eating less meat, but you wouldn’t know it from the lines at Lawry’s, which has been serving the same menu for more than half a century: splendid hunks of prime rib, salad, mashed potatoes, creamed spinach. What the menu lacks in variety it makes up in ceremony: The beef comes on a silver cart with its own chef to carve it, the salad is spun before your eyes, and you get to eat it with a a chilled fork. Even people who think they’re too sophisticated for this sort of stuff soon discover that they’re wrong. 55 N. La Cienega Blvd., Beverly Hills (310) 652-2827.

SMOKEHOUSE (1946). In the old days, this was where the stars came in a casual mood, when they didn’t feel like dressing up to go to town. It’s a sort of Chasen’s with waitresses, a dark, sprawling restaurant with the world-weary aroma of 50 years of Scotch and cigarettes. Meat is the main attraction here--the empire was built on a secret rib recipe--but there has been a slight concession to the present in the form of a steamed vegetable plate. 4420 Lakeside Drive, Burbank; (818) 845-3731.

DAN TANA’S (1964). This restaurant opened when Bob Dylan was still playing acoustic; in those days, Dylan--and the other musicians who appeared down the street at the Troubadour--could occasionally be found at a dark table in the back. Today it’s still a hangout for musicians, actors and sports figures. The food is a comfortable mix of meat and spaghetti. Nothing’s changed here in 27 years, a reminder that in the ‘60s, eating out--even in celebrity joints--was pleasant. 9071 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood; (310) 275-9444.

MICHAEL’S (1979). “Michael’s needs a mother,” is what one early reviewer said of the brash newcomer who heralded the coming of a different kind of dining. The chefs were young--and American. The products were local. The plates were by Villeroy & Boch, the silver was Christofle, the art was contemporary, and the 25-year-old proprietor took himself very, very seriously. It was California Cuisine with a vengeance--and it still is. Nothing’s changed in the 12 years that the restaurant’s been open--except that everybody’s gotten older, the prices have been lowered, and the Chardonnay cream sauce doesn’t seem so brash. 1147 3rd St., Santa Monica; (310) 451-0843.

TRUMPS (1980). The quintessential ode to the anything-goes decade, Trumps was a shock when it opened. The colors were neutral, the tables were concrete, the art was world-class and provocative. The prices were high--it was a new kind of elegance. The menu roamed the world and came back with unheard-of combinations: potato pancakes with goat cheese, duck with pumpkin, plantains with caviar. Other restaurants have calmed down, but Trumps triumphantly treads its own path; it’s still crazy after all these years. 8764 Melrose Ave., West Hollywood; (310) 855-1480.