UNDERSTANDING THE RIOTS / PART 3 : WITNESS TO RAGE : ‘Suddenly, I was aware of being black.’
Immediately after the verdicts were announced, I had physical symptoms of anxiety and stress. And every now and then I still find myself trembling.
I certainly thought at least they would be found guilty on something, just as a kind of gesture. Right after the verdicts, I had to leave the office downtown and pick up my son in the West Valley. I cried all the way there wondering what I was going to say to my son and what his reaction would be. What hurt me the most was that, I’ve got to talk to my son and tell we live in a society that does not value his life.
He got in the car and he showed a lot more resilience and presence of mind than I was feeling. He said that there’s going to be a war, there’s going to be a riot.
About 5 o’clock Wednesday we got home and turned on the TV. I remember seeing them pulling people out of cars on Florence and Normandie. My son and I were just riveted. And I started crying then, because it seemed so out of control and just another form of brutality.
It was bizarre because I know that intersection and it didn’t seem as though it was my city or my country. It really looked like the kind of footage you see on CNN when you see Comrades torching people in South Africa. It was hard to make the connection that it was really just a short distance away.
I live on the Westside of Los Angeles. When we first moved there in 1978, it was mostly white, and mostly older. Now it’s more diverse and every racial group lives there.
After the riots we went out to do a little shopping on the Westside and I was very aware, for the first time in years, of being black. I noticed long stares from white and Asian people and I got the feeling that they were checking me out to make sure I was OK. The stares weren’t hostile or fearful. And people were so polite; I heard more white people say “excuse me” in those few hours than I think I have in my entire lifetime.
The social outrage was felt by many people, not just blacks, because we are living in very desperate times. There is a lot of social tinder out there, people whose quality of life has diminished, who have lost jobs, who see public neglect. South-Central is symbolic of a place that languished while downtown was built up. So class and geography definitely mean something. A girlfriend said that on April 28, when the riots started, the ‘80s ended and the ‘90s began.
