TENNIS / THOMAS BONK : Retirement and Borg Don’t Mix

Choose one: Bjorn Borg is a) retired; b) not retired; c) sort of retired.

If you said c, then you’re up to date on the semi-retired, former semi-recluse who hasn’t been to Wimbledon since 1982, when he wore an NBC commentator’s jacket.

Borg hasn’t been at Wimbledon as a player since 1981, hasn’t won a match in a tournament in 10 years and doesn’t plan to start showing up again at Wimbledon anytime soon to play.

“I miss it . . . a little bit,” Borg said.

But at 36, Borg is coming back to the IBM/ATP Tour, at least as a part-timer, and plans to resume the career he short-circuited 11 years ago.

Why is Borg doing this? It isn’t because of the money, he insisted.

“I am doing this for myself. I am doing it because I enjoy it,” Borg said in a telephone interview from his home in Sweden.

So far, his abbreviated return to the tour has not been overly joyous--four tournaments in the last 15 months, four matches, four losses. The six-time French Open champion lost his last match, 6-1, 6-0, to Goran Prpic on clay in Hamburg in March. Borg has not won a set since coming back.

Yet he isn’t upset by his lack of success.

“I don’t have any high expectations for myself,” Borg said. “I don’t feel I can be the same level as before.”

Although he is old enough to play on the over-35 senior tour, Borg said he belongs with the young guys, so he has planned his limited schedule accordingly.

Borg plays the Nations Bank Classic the week of July 13 and the Volvo/Los Angeles tournament at UCLA the week of Aug. 3.

He is going to avoid the U.S. Open, just as he chose not to play Wimbledon, where he won five consecutive times, from 1976-1980.

Add Borg: There are two Swedes left in the fourth round at Wimbledon--Stefan Edberg and Henrik Holm play each other Monday--but Borg isn’t picking a countryman to go all the way.

“If I have to pick a winner, I’ll pick a little bit of an outsider,” Borg said. “I will pick Goran Ivanisevic. If he keeps serving like he has, I think he will win.”

Ivanisevic plays Ivan Lendl in the fourth round Monday.

Fashion no-no: Fang Li of China was ordered off Court 16 when she showed up wearing a pink skirt. Li changed to a white skirt and lost in straight sets.

Add fashion: How is this for contrast? After the John McEnroe-Pat Cash match, Cash wore a black hat with a skull and crossbones for his interview session. McEnroe wore a white T-shirt that read “Smell the flowers.”

Last add fashion: McEnroe was photographed last week wearing a hat with the message Public Enemy (just in case anyone in England wasn’t sure).

Best headline: It’s a tie. This was in the Sun after Jimmy Connors lost to Luis Herrera: “Jimmy Goners.”

The Daily Sport had this one on the Monica Seles grunting controversy: “Belle Of The Bawl.”

For sure: Number of times Jennifer Capriati said “you know” in her post-match interview after defeating Chanda Rubin: 12.

Number of times Michael Stich said “I mean” in his post-match interview after defeating Magnus Larsson: 24.

Shortest answer: From Steffi Graf, when asked if she had seen Monica Seles’ first-round match: “No.”

Weirdest questions: Directed to Seles: 1. “What is your reaction to reports saying you are overweight?” 2. “Are you addicted to butter?” 3. “Have they told you not to wear figure-hugging outfits because your bottom’s too big?”

Diet note: For what it’s worth, Wimbledon’s official caterers reported that the players are eating 300 pounds of pasta, 200 pounds of strawberries, 150 pounds of bananas and 100 pounds of peaches per day.

Best match: Jakob Hlasek’s 4-hour 19-minute, five-set, 71-game, come-from-behind second-round victory over Petr Korda, 4-6, 3-6, 6-3, 7-6 (9-7), 16-14.