Neighborhood Watch Gives Alpert Opportunity Just in Time for Election

It’s a common wheeze that the power and perks of political office give incumbents a significant edge over challengers.

A wheeze, but often true. Here’s a small example.

Start with state legislators who decreed that August was Neighborhood Watch Month.

Why did they do this you might ask.

After all, Neighborhood Watch is strictly a local program. The state government doesn’t organize it, pay for it, or (except at election time) pay much attention to it.

Yes, but Neighbor Watch is politically popular and a nifty vehicle to let state officeholders who may be running in newly drawn districts introduce themselves to their new constituents.

How? By sending out tough-on-crime letters (“Dear Neighbor”) inviting residents to Neighborhood Watch meetings where local cops, always respectful of authority, have been convinced to attend and listen to residents complain about crime.

Look now at first-term Assemblywoman Dede Alpert (D-Del Mar). She’s running in a newly carved district (the 78th).

She held a series of Neighborhood Watch “kickoff meetings” in San Diego in August and September just as the campaign season began.

The meetings were held in neighborhoods that Alpert represents in her new district but had not represented in her old district (the 75th) or had represented only a sliver of. Voters new to Alpert, mostly.

The invitation letters and the follow-up letters were sent on Alpert’s official letterhead. The letters, the postage and the planning were all paid from her office budget (read public funds) rather than campaign funds.

Alpert defends her Neighborhood Watch meetings: “I feel I’m using public funds to do government work.”

And what of the politically propitious timing? “It’s good timing. That’s true.”

For the record: the Fair Political Practices Commission says such expenditures are not illegal.

Still, Alpert’s Republican opponent Jeff Marston smells something rotten: “It’s a clever way for her to use taxpayers’ money to fund her political campaign.”

He feels the same about the “Play It Safe” coloring books that Alpert is giving to school kids and the beach cleanups she’s been organizing, both at public expense.

Presidential Dirty Laundry

Here and there.

* The Fruit-of-the-Loom factor.

Michael Johnson, who lives in Valley Center and publishes computer magazines, is trying to raise money to get a slashing anti-Clinton ad (“He Smoked Dope. He Dodged The Draft. He Cheated On His Wife . . . “) published in newspapers nationwide.

He’s dead set against Clinton but he’s got little or no affection for Bush or Perot.

“It’s like being out of clean underwear and being forced to rummage in the clothes’ hamper and decide between three dirty pairs,” he explained.

* The Tournament Golf Assn., a new group dedicated to interesting minority youth in playing golf, has its first fund-raising tournament Saturday at the Bonita Golf Course. For information, 527-1170.

* Betty junkies take note.

Courtroom Television Network will do a three-hour “Betty Broderick On Trial: Victim or Criminal?” on Friday. With repeats Saturday and Sunday.

Complete with trial film and “new reporting and analysis.” In San Diego, it’s on Southwestern Cable.

* Great moments in political dialogue.

Congressional candidate Judy Jarvis called opponent Lynn Schenk a “witch” during a radio debate Tuesday. A caller had asked Jarvis about her alleged (and hotly denied) interest in astrology.

Caught With His Pants Up

“Peachface” is back and Robert Crook is happy.

Crook runs TKS Tropicals in the Midway area and on weekends has a stall at the Sports Arena swap meet.

He was talking to customers last weekend when he noticed a lovey-dovey couple eyeing a green love-bird named “Peachface.” The bird was a steal at $39.99 so the couple decided to steal her.

“The guy looked at his girlfriend, the girlfriend looked at him, and then he put the bird in his pants,” Crook said. “I understand them wanting a bird, but to take one?”

Crook put the arm on the birdnaper and yelled for the cops. Now a sailor is facing a misdemeanor charge.

You know what they say: A bird in the bush is a sight to behold, but a bird in the pants, that’s petty theft.