Parking is sweet sorrow: OK, we admit...

Parking is sweet sorrow: OK, we admit we stole that line from Baghdad-by-the-Bay’s Herb Caen.

But it could apply to Orsini restaurant on Pico Boulevard. Valet parking is practically a must there.

That’s not our recommendation. That’s Orsini’s rule.

“Our conditional-use permit says that valet parking ($3) is mandatory,” explains Orsini’s Piero Rossi. “It’s to protect the residents in the (West L.A.) neighborhood from noise.”

Counters one recent customer, Jon Erik Beckjord of Topanga: “I thought in America, people had the freedom to park where they wanted. It’s very irritating to find this out after you’ve parked on the street.”

“We’ve had some problems,” admitted Rossi. “Some people have a new expensive car they don’t want valet-parked, or maybe they’re having trouble with their clutch and don’t want someone else driving it. That’s why I’m happy you’re going to write something, so people will know beforehand.”

Under questioning, Rossi eased the restaurant’s “mandatory” stance.

While customers may not park on side streets, he said, “parking on Pico is OK.”

Grand veiling: Mary Fuller’s artworks have been under wraps for six months at the Ronald Reagan State Building in downtown L.A. But they aren’t awaiting a grand opening. Rather, they face a not-so-grand removal from a child-care center playground.

“It’s confusing,” says the Petaluma artist.

Fuller’s 12 concrete animal figures, including a 16-foot-long serpent, were covered with plastic padding after the state Department of General Services told her that “there was a problem with insurance. Apparently a couple of children got hurt.”

Next, she was informed by letter that the building manager “had found crickets and bugs in the covering after the recent rain. They didn’t want the kids to be infected.”

Finally, Fuller was told that the sculptures, which weigh nine tons, must be removed, period. If the state pays the estimated $11,000 for their removal, it will put the serpent and the other creatures into “permanent storage.” If Fuller pays for the removal, she can take them.

The artist suggested that her works be moved elsewhere in the building or to a city park. But neither L.A. nor Sacramento has responded to that offer. Strange, considering that her design for the sculptures was chosen over several others.

Meanwhile, Fuller says: “What am I gonna do with nine tons of concrete? I live in Petaluma.”

San Francisco declined comment: Legal researcher Mark Rosenberg called a local legislator’s office, trying to find an obscure government agency. “The secretary told me it was in San Francisco,” he says. “It was about 4:50 in the afternoon. She said: ‘I’m not sure--are they in the same time zone as us?’ ”

Different time zone?A Belmont Shore stationery store displays a sign that says: “1992 calendars--50% off.”

Attention, procrastinating lovers: On Jan. 1, the price of marriage licenses in L.A. County increases from $35 to $40. On the other hand, 1992 calendars figure to be even cheaper.

miscelLAny:

The Max Factor Museum in Hollywood includes among its artifacts the toupees of John Wayne and Fred Astaire, a wig worn by Marlene Dietrich and wooden models of the heads of Charlton Heston and Elizabeth Taylor.