TRAVEL INSIDER : How to Complain in a Way That Gets Results : Disputes: If you feel wronged by your hotel or tour operator, keep your temper, note details to support your case and state exactly what you require for satisfaction.

Recently, an Alexandria, Va., resident treated a friend to a birthday weekend at a famous resort noted for pampering its guests. But the trip turned into a turkey when the staff proved disappointingly unhelpful, the pair was overcharged $86 for their room, and even the specially decorated cake she had ordered failed to show.

Not wanting to make a fuss in front of her friend, the Alexandrian waited until she had returned home to dispatch an angry letter of complaint to the hotel’s president. In less than two weeks, back came the reply--a formal apology, a refund on the overcharge and an invitation for a two-night, all-expenses-paid repeat visit.

Certainly, no one likes the aggravation of a getaway gone awry. But in this case, the hotel’s offer of compensation seems generous, and it proves a point. If you believe you have been wronged, a complaint to the right party often can work. You may recover part or all of your losses or get another trip.

But not always.

Some travel suppliers--hotels, tour companies, adventure outfitters, airlines and travel agents among them--are reluctant to admit fault, and only begrudgingly and under pressure do they come up with some form of compensation. When faced with a recalcitrant firm, travelers can turn for help to several organizations, both public and private.

One of the most active is the American Society of Travel Agents, which represents many of the nation’s travel agencies, tour companies and travel suppliers. Each year, the organization’s consumer-affairs staff helps resolve between 1,500 and 2,000 written complaints from travelers. Another is the Consumer Affairs Division of the Department of Transportation. In the first nine months of this year, the office received 5,578 phoned or written complaints from disgruntled airline passengers. And a third is the Better Business Bureau in your community.

All three organizations act as mediators, attempting to resolve disputes between travelers--those with legitimate claims, anyway--and travel suppliers. When they step into the picture, an initially unresponsive firm usually decides it is time to negotiate. If these efforts fail, often the only remaining step is for the traveler to seek legal advice and perhaps take the dispute to court.

In making complaints, travelers should be realistic, says Ray Greenly, vice president of consumer affairs for the travel agents’ group. If heavy rains fall every day of your tropical-beach vacation, that’s just bad luck and nobody’s fault--unless the tour operator or the resort actually guaranteed sunny skies.

There is an accepted etiquette in making a complaint, and it involves certain do’s and don’ts. Do try to get any problem resolved on the scene, when possible. If you don’t like your hotel room, don’t just brood about it; speak up and ask to be changed. And don’t lose your temper, which can seriously complicate resolution of your complaint.

When a problem erupts, be sure to take the names of offending parties, make detailed notes on your efforts to resolve the problem,and keep receipts, correspondence and other evidence that prove your case.

When writing a letter of complaint, be courteous, be specific and be as brief as possible, Greenly says. He gets copies of complaints that ramble for eight to 12 pages. And--this is very important--state what you are seeking in compensation. The claim should be in proportion to the gravity of your complaint.

Instead of writing the complaint letter yourself, you may want to ask the travel agent who arranged your trip to do it. Sometimes, says Greenly, an agent has more clout with a hotel, airline or tour operator with which it does a steady business. If, after dispatching a letter of complaint, you get no answer in a reasonable time, or you don’t like the answer, consider contacting your local Better Business Bureau office and/or:

* American Society of Travel Agents. Based in Alexandria, Va., the society represents about 20,000 of the nation’s travel agencies, as well as many of the leading tour operators, hotel chains, cruise lines and airlines. Its consumer affairs department will attempt to resolve complaints directed against any of its members, as well as against non-member agencies and travel suppliers. However, it can bring more pressure for a quick and satisfactory solution with problems involving its members.

A large percentage of the complaints are directed at tour operators by travelers who are disappointed when a tour does not live up to their expectations. Tours are a frequent target, says Greenly, not because they are a special problem area but because they include so many components--meals, lodging, transportation, attractions, guides and escorts, any one of which can have an off day.

All complaints must be submitted in writing, and there must be evidence you attempted to resolve the problem on your own. No complaint more than a year old will be accepted, and preferably you should try to submit your letter within six months of the time the problem occurred. “The trail gets cold,” says Greenly, “and recollections dim.”

If your complaint appears valid, the consumer affairs department will act as mediator in attempting to reach a satisfactory resolution. If you don’t know what compensation to seek, it may suggest a reasonable reward. A letter will be sent to the offending travel firm asking for its response to your claim, and the society’s members are obligated to reply. Compensation may be negotiated.

Using this method, says Greenly, the society has about an 80% success rate in resolving complaints, often with higher compensation than the travel firm initially offered the complaining traveler.

The society will take phone calls from travelers with questions about whether they have valid complaints. And it will answer inquiries about whether a travel firm is a society member. As a member, the firm is obligated to meet a specified standard of ethics.

You can also check to see if a travel firm has been the subject of a large number of serious and unresolved complaints.

For information: American Society of Travel Agents, Consumer Affairs Department, 1101 King St., Alexandria, Va. 22314, (703) 739-2782.

* Department of Transportation. The department’s Consumer Affairs Division takes complaints against U.S. and foreign airlines either by phone or mail. Many of the complaints involve flight delays or cancellations, overbooked flights, busy reservation phones, unavailable discount fares, ticketing mistakes, lost or damaged baggage claims, frequent-flier awards and rude airline employees.

If passengers believe they are owed compensation, the consumer office will act as mediator with the airline. The office will assist in mediating a dispute even though a foreign airline does not land in the United States and the incident spurring the complaint occurred on a flight between two foreign destinations. However, it obviously has greater leverage with U.S. airlines and foreign carriers flying regularly in and out of U.S airports, says spokesman Hoyte B. Decker Jr.

Calls also are welcomed from passengers with questions about their rights regarding compensation for lost luggage, denied boarding, missed connections or other airline problems. The calls are not toll-free, but, says Decker, “We think you get a bang for your buck.”

If a complaint appears valid, the consumer office will contact the airline involved to get its version of the dispute. Often, simply reminding the airline of its legal obligation to an aggrieved passenger is all it takes to resolve a dispute. If an airline has been slow in replying to a passenger’s complaint, once the government starts inquiring, says Decker, that complaint gets moved quickly “to the top of the pile.”

For information: Consumer Affairs Division, I-25, U.S. Department of Transportation, Washington, D.C. 20590, (202) 366-2220.

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