Now Hear This, People: Gays in Military Not the Enemy

A key part of my job is sensing what subjects the public is sick of--and avoiding them. Upsetting readers is permissible; turning them off is unforgivable.

So, with a certain measure of self-preservation in mind, I promised myself I wouldn’t weigh in on the issue of gays in the military. It seemed early on that everything had been said. More to the point, most people are weary of the subject.

But writing 145 columns a year also is an experience in self-awareness. As events swirl daily, you discover which ones really rattle your cage. And for reasons that seem totally disproportionate to my stake in the matter, this issue really rattles mine.

I start with the premise that there’s no “right” to serve in the military. Convince me, I said to those who support the ban--convince me that gays don’t deserve legitimate status in the military. Convince me they’re a detriment, and I’ll rally ‘round the flag.

A week into it, having heard and read comments from the Joint Chiefs, assorted legislators and citizens, I’m still waiting to be convinced. I’m waiting to hear one argument that stands up under any kind of scrutiny or logic or real-life experience.

By now, I know I’m not going to be convinced. Instead of being swayed, I’ve become angrier and, at least for a while, more ashamed for the country.

Supporters of the ban say those who haven’t served in the military don’t understand what it’s like. Well, sir or madam, I’d say you’ve never been gay so you don’t know what that’s like, but it doesn’t stop you from self-righteously denying those who are the same opportunities as any other citizen.

Those opposing gay rights are fond of saying that gays want special rights and that they already have the same rights as other people. Oh, they do?

The only thing any gay person has said about the military is, “Let me see if I can qualify under the same standards as everyone else.”

All of a sudden, however, the ground shifts. All of a sudden, gay Americans don’t have the same rights as anyone else. When it comes to serving their country, a subject that our conservative constituents beat the drums over, gays have no rights at all.

All right, the argument goes, the military is entitled to discriminate. True, but it does so for a reason. You’re too fat, you’re a liability in combat. You’re too blind, you’re a liability in combat. You’re too gay, you’re . . .

Yeah, just what is that argument again? All I’ve heard is that gays upset morale, make the straights uncomfortable and potentially lead to disruptive influences in critical situations.

It would hard to disprove that if there wasn’t ample evidence that gays don’t cause any such problems. Unlike the situation when blacks were integrated into the military, there’s a track record with gays intermingling with straights. And lest we forget, heterosexuals don’t always get along in the military, either.

I’m sure some heterosexuals would be uncomfortable with gays around. To which I say in all seriousness, “That’s too bad.” Why is a straight’s comfort level any more important than a gay’s comfort level?

As to the more legitimate questions about whether sexual behavior or possible sexual tensions would disrupt the military’s mission, supporters of the gay ban conveniently overlook the obvious answer: Any unacceptable behavior, by straight or gay personnel, will result in disciplinary procedures.

For me, I knew the anti-gay ban was a loser when I realized that most of the reasons for it were directed not at the behavior of the gays, but at other people’s reactions to them.

Believe me, though, I’m not trying to change any minds today. But if you can’t be philosophically supportive of gays in the military, how about common sense?

Do you really think a guy in fishnet stockings is going to come mincing into Ft. Leonard Wood and say, ‘I’m gay, and I want to play soldier!”?

Do you really think gay men are going to be hitting on straight Marines? You may think they’re crazy, but they’re not suicidal.

Do you think every gay person in America will join the Army?

People, please. Think. Your head must tell you that gays are already serving well, with none of the doom-saying ramifications you’ve heard lately.

People say gay men will be in peril from their own troops. That may be true, but they’re apparently willing to take that risk and trust their commanding officers to control it. Like most of the other arguments, it’s directed at other people’s reactions to them.

I wondered why this issue bothers me so much, but I know why.

It upsets me that so many straight people think they know all they need to know about gay people, when the sad fact is they know so very little. And what they don’t know, they make up to fill in the gaps.

It’s that unwillingness to learn and that willingness to believe the worst that makes me, at this particular moment in time, feel sad about my country.