There’s No Need to Fear Underdog This Year, Remember?

The greatest comeback in Buffalo Bills history has nothing to do with Frank Reich, Warren Moon, Andre Reed or Jim (The Work Isn’t Steady) Eddy, former defensive coordinator of the Houston Oilers.

The greatest comeback in Buffalo Bills history has everything to do with the last two weeks--the 14-day lag period between the conference finals and the Super Bowl that causes sharp minds to dull, common sense to wander and idle hands to make absolutely preposterous Super Bowl picks, presumably by the tried-and-true method of rocks-and-scissors.

Two weeks ago, the Buffalo Bills were given no chance of beating Dallas in Armageddon XXVII. None. They were viewed then to be two-time losers--lucky wild cards living on borrowed time and the fat of the NFL’s soft underbelly, which you and I know as the American Football Conference. They were headed to Pasadena, the City by the Fault, by default. They hadn’t even won their own division, they had lost to such faded wallflowers as the Jets and the Colts, and they had advanced only by the grace of the Houston Oilers (who were replaced by the Astros at halftime), the Pittsburgh Steelers (who forgot to activate Terry Bradshaw) and the Miami Dolphins (who are really just 46 guys and Dan Marino).

It was going to be another NFC blowout, just like the NFC blowouts of January ‘92, January ‘90, January ‘88, January ‘87, January ’86 and January ’85.

Just wait.

Wait we did. That has been our biggest problem. We have waited too long, become too bored, sought out too many unhealthy diversions in order to keep our brain cells stimulated in the face of Darryl Talley’s non-altercations, Charles Haley’s non-interviews and sports sections crammed with other such non-stories.

“So, how ‘bout those Buffalo Bills?”

“You know, they got rid of Scott Norwood.”

“You know, no team has ever lost three Super Bowls in a row.”

“You know, they’ve really looked good since falling behind Houston by 32 points.”

It has been nothing short of miraculous, this resuscitation of the Bills’ reputation. They remain underdogs in Las Vegas, and Dallas, but everywhere else, they are the Lombardi Packers. Sports Illustrated’s Dr. Zzzzz has tabbed Buffalo, 27-24. Time magazine calls Buffalo “the most attractive underdog” since the ’68 Jets, apparently having spilled White-Out over the ’69 Chiefs, the ’80 Raiders and the ’90 Giants, who happened to upset the “invincible” Bills--remember them?--in Super Bowl XXV.

Pay them no mind.

Here are nine reasons why Buffalo is still going to lose today, regardless of whatever line the revisionists and the trendoids are pushing this hour:

1. No team has ever lost three consecutive Super Bowls, but there’s always a first.

This is the basis of the argument currently being waged by the Friends of the Bills: Buffalo’s due, Buffalo simply can’t lose again--strictly out of fear of abject public humiliation.

Oh no?

In the ‘70s, Minnesota lost three Super Bowls in four years. In the ‘80s, Denver lost three Super Bowls in four years--and did it against the Giants, the Redskins and the 49ers. In the ‘90s, Buffalo stands to lose three Super Bowls in three years--and stands to do it against the Giants, the Redskins and the team that beat the 49ers in the NFC final.

Such a feat is far from impossible. The Detroit Tigers lost three consecutive World Series, from 1907 to 1909. The Cleveland Browns (‘51-’53) and the New York Giants (‘61-’63) lost three consecutive NFL title games in the pre-Super Bowl era. The New York Knicks (‘51-’53) and the Lakers (‘68-’70) were both three-time losers in NBA championship series. And Toronto (‘38-’40) and St. Louis (‘68-’70) each lost back-to-back-to-back Stanley Cup finals.

Bills, you won’t be alone.

2. If you don’t win a Super Bowl in your first two tries, you never will.

Before Buffalo, only three teams have been 0-2 in Super Sundays. Minnesota and Denver were the first--and now they’re 0-4. Next was Cincinnati. The Bengals lost twice to San Francisco and haven’t been back since.

Six teams have lost their Super Bowl debuts and rebounded to win in their next appearance, Dallas being one of them. But no one yet has made the leap from 0-2 to 1-2. And I have never seen a Buffalo fly.

3. Team of Destiny? What Team of Destiny?

The Bills erased a 35-3 deficit against Houston in the first round, so this has to be their year, right?

A fact check, please.

In the first 26 years of the Super Bowl era, three teams had rallied from 15-point deficits, or more, to win playoff games. None of them won Super Bowls.

The ’72 Cowboys rallied from 18 points down to beat San Francisco . . . and lost to Washington in the NFC final.

The ’85 Dolphins rallied from 18 down to beat Cleveland . . . and lost to New England in the AFC final.

The ’91 Broncos rallied from 15 down to beat Houston (anyone spot a trend here?) . . . and lost to Buffalo in the AFC final.

Buffalo, thy only destiny is defeat.

4. The “Dallas Is Too Young and Sure to Have Super Bowl Jitters” myth.

Minnesota was also 0-2 when it lined up against the ’74 baby Steelers, who were then nothing more than the Aluminum Foil Curtain. Pittsburgh was making its first-ever appearance in a title game. Minnesota had been there the year before.

Final score: Pittsburgh 16, Minnesota 6.

5. The “Buffalo’s Defense Is Peaking at the Right Time” myth.

After weathering the Oilers, 41-38, in the first round, Buffalo clamped down against Pittsburgh and Miami, yielding just 13 points in the next two rounds.

Admirable, yes; guarantee of the Lombardi Trophy, hardly.

The ’68 Colts surrendered 14 points in two playoff games and lost the Super Bowl to the Jets. The ’70 Cowboys allowed 10 points in two playoff games and then lost to the Colts. In 1972, the Redskins yielded just six points in two playoff games, and still were no match for Miami.

Omen Central: Ten years ago, Miami swept through two AFC tournament games while allowing just 13 points. Those Dolphins met an opponent from the NFC East in Super Bowl XVII. The game was played in Pasadena.

Final score: Washington 27, Miami 17.

6. Teams of the Decades always start quickly.

The Team of the ‘60s, the Green Bay Packers, won their first Super Bowl.

The Team of the ‘70s, the Pittsburgh Steelers, won their first Super Bowl.

The Team of the ‘80s, the San Francisco 49ers, won their first Super Bowl.

The Team of the ‘90s? If it is to be the Cowboys, as even Dr. Z believes, the dynasty begins here and now.

7. Wild-card teams don’t win Super Bowls.

Only three have reached the final game. Only one has won--the ’80 Oakland Raiders, whose victory in Super Bowl XV was somewhat tainted.

The Raiders’ opponent was Philadelphia.

The last AFC wild card to make it to the Super Bowl was New England, in Super Bowl XX. New England’s starting quarterback failed to complete a pass. Chicago’s 300-pound defensive tackle took a handoff and scored a touchdown. New England lost by 36 points.

8. The Chuck Knox Factor.

No NFL team coached by Knox has ever won a Super Bowl. Not pre-Knox, not with Knox, not post-Knox--a select group that includes the Rams, the Seattle Seahawks and the Bills, whom Knox coached from 1978 through 1982.

9. The Dick Enberg Factor.

Enberg has called four Super Bowls for NBC, which has not been fortuitous for the AFC. With Enberg behind the mike, the AFC is 1-3, including three losses in a row, including Chicago 46, New England 10.

Today, Enberg calls his fifth Super Bowl.

Here come the Bills.

Oh my.